Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

Comrade Fatso and Chabvondoka were on the HIFA main stage last night, my friend.

The show was awesome, and Zexie Manatsa’s kid was on the lead guitar, and mfana akapenga shamwari.

They shared the stage with Zubz, who I must say is a very talented rapper in my opinion, my friend.

Tony and I finished a bottle of Chivas in the process, and I’m currently feeling the results, my friend.

That, my friend, was one of the best HIFA shows ever.

Ever.

First of all, let me come out and say it – that HIFA opening show was shit. My gosh, I’ve never been so bored. I mean, they did what they do well … but all that opera classical choir shit was not what they usually do on opening night.

Secondly, there were a few interesting moments. Like, when the scantily-clad girls were rubbing (dirt? flour? baby powder?) over themselves limb by limb, then doing a boob-out bend-over dance-type movement, then repeating? Interesting.

THEN they started rubbing said mystery substance over EACH OTHER! Yes, there were scantily-clad dirty girls rubbing MORE dirt on each other. Like my mate said, if that ware oil we’d have had a hell of a show.

Thirdly, and most importantly, some people are fucking arrogant. And yes, I mean white people. We showed up at the venue 45 minutes before the show was gonna start, and took up a standing position behind the last line (in a sea) of garden chairs. And promptly attacked the Robertson’s Sweet Rosé.

Some late-comers came into the park and placed their chairs BEHIND us, then had the audacity to ask us to SIT DOWN when the show started. You wot?

Listen, you four rows of white people in camping chairs, it’s not my fault you came late to the venue. I’ve been standing here for 45 minutes, what did you think was gonna happen when you put your chairs down behind us. You think this place is for chairs only? Fuck right off.

So yeah, one aggressive guy with an accent came from behind us and demanded we sit down, and I told him firmly “no”. There were some mutterings, and I told them it’s their fault they parked behind us.

The arrogance, it fucking burns.

Anyway, we had an early night cos some bastards tried to open the Mouse’s car doors at the 7th Street robots, luckily her doors were locked and she sped off through the red light.

This could be a different conversation.

HIFA 2010 starts today. It’s gonna be awesome. Hello Mukuyu Symphony Rose!

Let me tell you something. Zimbabwe is not a social democracy. Zimbabwe is not a republic. Zimbabwe isn’t even a dictatorship.

This country is a kleptocracy.

Men in power need money to maintain it. Men in power need money to extend it, that’s it, finish and klaar.

The same way pigeons need statues to shit on, politicians with unchecked power need to appropriate the levers of state for their own material gain; they need to loot the common wealth.

Kleptocracy, alternatively cleptocracy or kleptarchy, from Greek kleptes (thieves) and kratos (rule), is a term applied to a government that takes advantage of governmental corruption to extend the personal wealth and political power of government officials and the ruling class (collectively, kleptocrats), via the embezzlement of state funds at the expense of the wider population, sometimes without even the pretense of honest service.

The term means “rule by thieves”. Not an “official” form of government (such as democracy, republic, monarchy, theocracy) the term is a pejorative for governments perceived to have a particularly severe and systemic problem with the selfish misappropriation of public funds by those in power.

Hanzi the effects of a kleptocratic regime or government on a nation are typically adverse in regards to the faring of the state’s economy, political affairs and civil rights. Kleptocracy in government often vitiates prospects of foreign investment and drastically weakens the domestic market and cross-border trade.

Ka-ching.

Professional athlete caught inserting breeding tentacles into inappropriate mating partners!