As a thirtysomething male, I’ve (allegedly) watched my share of porn. However, over the years one important question has continually arisen; who the fuck are the seemingly tens of thousands of random women who apparently have no problem being photographed with a penis in their mouth?

Porn stars are one thing (they DO get paid for it) but it’s safe to say there is considerably more amateur debauchery out there than anything else, and I simply can’t fathom who these everyday women are that have no problem being photographed / videotaped chewing and screwing!

Considering the sheer number, you’d think I’d have come across at least one of them in my time. Not that I even have a regular desire to have on-screen sex; just the fact that there are countless women who will gladly gargle a load or eagerly be cummed on, all for the benefit of some pervert watching on their computer, is mind-blowing.

Some of the funniest scenes have to be when a girl is blowing a guy, and clearly trying to eyefuck the camera. Let’s think about this for a second – I once read that many women consider oral sex to be even more intimate than fornication, and I can’t say it’s all that surprising.

Is there anything more inherently sexual, graphic and empowering than sticking one’s penis, the source of a man’s greatest pleasure (and semen delivery hose) down a woman’s throat, her vehicle for eating, tasting and communication? By getting head you are literally shutting a girl the up!

Blowjobs are also one of the more unique sexual acts – men can jerk off, and while the act itself is nowhere near the experience of actual coitus, it’s at least something of an approximation. But unless you’re insanely flexible, chances are you can’t suck your own dick.

The sense of authority a guy feels shoving his unit in a girl’s mouth coupled with the feeling of power the female can derive from pleasuring him in a way he can only dream of makes getting head that much more sexually gratifying for both* parties. [*citation needed LOL]

Back to the matter at hand. What makes these women think it’s sexy to eyefuck the camera? Do they think the jerk (off) on the other end will find it hot? Correct me if I’m wrong, but there are few more ridiculous sights than a girl trying to look photogenic while inhaling a penis.

You have a cock in your mouth, sweetie; this really is no time to pose.