A beginner’s guide to racism: 5 myths about black people

Niggers - clueless

1: All black people do in fact look the same, those thick lips and the coarse nappy hair that no amount of straightening / relaxing / perming / gerry curling / weaving will ever cure. And they certainly don’t mind when you call them all by the same name, they are just happy to be acknowledged.

2: Of course they smell different, all those years of picking cotton in the masser’s fields and the open fires over which they cook their ‘soul’ food has become genetically ingrained.

3: Three key professions: all negroes are born able to sing and with a sense of rhythm, that’s why so many of them are in the gospel choirs and/or are video hoe-fessionals. Also, all the years of running away from lions in the deepest darkest African jungles have trained them to be prime athletes.

4: There is truth in the assertion that black people are less intelligent. Look around, how many black CEOs of major corporations do you see, now look again, how many of those same black people do you see languishing in prisons?

5: Wealth will never get to the black communities because they spend far too much money on bling and rims and too much time watching MTV and having illegitimate children, while smoking crack cocaine.

Disclaimer: The ironic views expressed in this column reflect only those of the 51% minority and in no way, shape, form, race, colour or creed reflect the views of the editor or this column. The editorial team encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of this site. (just covering some legal asses)

Published byEleanor

Tired of all the nonsense. When will the madness end.

22 Comments

  • Joe Black

    9 November, 2007 at 18:59 pm

    Nice post sisi, but I’m shocked; YOU posting about black myths with no penile references? Are we to understand you have so far been … lucky?

  • Eleanor

    10 November, 2007 at 00:06 am

    I thought about it deeply, long and hard. But I thought I would leave that to other people to add their own myths. p.s. I love the Boondocks, that Huey/Riley dynamic is hysterical.

  • MAXIMUS

    10 November, 2007 at 06:58 am

    I find Boondocks rather ordinary, l’ll admit though, that Grandpa’s the shiznit.

  • Galadriel

    10 November, 2007 at 14:53 pm

    Any of y’all been to the below site? If not, it is very complementary to Eleanor’s post.

    http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/

  • MrCheeks

    11 November, 2007 at 17:09 pm

    black chicks all have huge apple butts

  • Joe Black

    11 November, 2007 at 17:48 pm

    Lol Gala that website is hilarious!

  • Tino

    12 November, 2007 at 13:59 pm

    It’s very quiet here today.

    And please, not all black African women can make sadza/pap like your mom used to make.

  • Galadriel

    12 November, 2007 at 14:07 pm

    AND not all black people actually like sadza.

  • Eleanor

    12 November, 2007 at 15:12 pm

    True, 2 years not eating it, and not a single cell in my body yearns for it. Personally I loathe the stuff. White, yellow, straight run, super refined, I dont care. To misquote Marie Antoinette ‘Let it be fed to the chickens’

  • Galadriel

    12 November, 2007 at 15:24 pm

    True!!! I hear that.

  • Anonymous

    12 November, 2007 at 16:15 pm

    everyone is different, wouldnt go for 2 weeks without sa….. especially the Strathaven sa

  • Galadriel

    12 November, 2007 at 19:19 pm

    WHY???!!! When you can have potatoes, rice, pasta, noodles, bread, or cous cous. Can you grate cheese over sadza and call it a meal? NO. Can you toast bread and smear butter and call it a meal? No!! Can you leave sadza in the oven for an hour while you take long bath after a hard day’s work or while you go off to the gym or jogging and then add a knob of butter and call that a meal or snack?? NO!!! Can you have fifty variations of that thing called sadza which are completely different? Hell no, the only variations are chidhinha or porigi. Okay (panting), now, let me ask you again, Why would anyone be unable to go 2 weeks without it. I haven’t touched the stuff for 8 years and counting (and yes i have access to it in my cupboard).

  • Eleanor

    12 November, 2007 at 22:54 pm

    Different strokes for different folks.

  • Joe Black

    13 November, 2007 at 06:47 am

    How the mighty have fallen … panting over sadza 😀

  • Joe Black

    13 November, 2007 at 06:48 am

    Oh BTW, Strathaven sah is fekkin awesome!!

  • Lolo

    13 November, 2007 at 08:50 am

    You can say that again! and again!!!!

  • Tigz

    13 November, 2007 at 13:59 pm

    why dont u just get a room…with your sa

  • Joe Black

    13 November, 2007 at 14:54 pm

    The prodigal son returns … what up mutha’f’k’r

  • player

    14 November, 2007 at 14:39 pm

    ……………………….whats cooking????

  • Eleanor

    14 November, 2007 at 14:47 pm

    good looking, its an Ilva treat tonight.

  • Joe Black

    14 November, 2007 at 14:50 pm

    Spaghetti … maccaroni …

  • player

    14 November, 2007 at 16:48 pm

    dont u have anything of nutritional value………..