GreenGate

Meet Joe Black

Joe Black was born in the summer of 1979, with Zimbabwe on the verge of total independence. Having missed the dreaded ‘born-free’ tag by mere months, he proceeded to grow into a fine upstanding citizen of the new democracy.

Right, enough bullshit. Joe Black is a resident of the bustling mahurepolis of Harare. A staunch supporter of Liverpool and Dynamos football clubs, he has had many a painful moment while watching these two teams play. This has helped mould him into a fine upstanding citizen of the new democra….*snip*!

Let’s try again. Joe Black is a fun-loving, sociable guy blessed with quick wit and a humorously sarcastic outlook on life in the new Zimbabwe. Having observed and experienced the ravages of economic decline, he has developed a marvellous, if slightly disquieting, ability to shrug off the depressing effects of the nation’s gradual descent into economic, and potentially political, chaos. This makes him a fine, upstanding citize….*cut*!!!!

Once again. Joe Black is a long-time patron of the Scud & Nanny, where he and his friends spend a great deal of time drinking beer, watching sport, shooting pool and engaging in long-winded (and often meaningless) conversations on everything from finances to women. He is not now, and has never been, an upstanding citizen of Zimbabwe!

All about Eleanor

It would be easy to trot out the usual adjectives in defence of my character: strong-willed, acerbic wit, vicious tongue, vitriolic self deprecating sense of humour (and these would be the positives), but this would be too easy, and probably not an accurate summation of the sum of my parts. So all I can do is bring out the usual boring stuff about how I am getting older but not significantly wiser.

I thought that by the time I got to my late 20s, not only would I have a better idea of what I wanted to do with my life, but I would ACTUALLY BE DOING IT!!!!! So, I guess that means my best friends are disappointment and disenchantment. As for my interests, I am a great believer in simplicity and charity beginning at home, therefore, I am my main interest. I no longer have any qualms about being self centred and self absorbed, hell, if you can’t do good for you, who can you do good for. And that’s on many a level.

Religion: born again…..cynic. As for my profession, well the less said about that the better. Suffice to say that I am surrounded by retards, and housewives, or both and on really good days, retarded housewives, at all stages of my work environment, so add a large measure of bitterness and resentment, and you have the twisted warped individual that is roaming the planet, purveying despondency and gloom, more commonly known as ME.