Meet Joe Black...

Joe Black was born in the summer of 1979, with Zimbabwe on the verge of total independence. Having missed the dreaded ‘born-free’ tag by mere months, he proceeded to grow into a fine upstanding citizen of the new democracy. Not.

All About Eleanour...

It would be easy to trot out the usual adjectives in defence of my character: strong-willed, acerbic wit, vicious tongue, vitriolic self deprecating sense of humour (and these would be the positives), but this would be too easy, and probably not an accurate summation of the sum of my parts.

Lustin Timbersnake was right

Worms - infectiousIt’s amazing what a little change can do.

Like, since I got my locks back, albeit baby locks for now, it’s amazing how much play a brother’s getting. The ladies are loving the new look, and I’m starting to wonder - why did I cut my hair in the first place?

This isn’t the first time I’ve made this observation, either. What is it about a guy with locks that makes some women goggle-eyed? Is it the perception that a healthy head of hair means a healthy body? A free spirit? An “artistic” inclination? This has always mystified me, although I must confess I took full advantage in my younger, wilder days.

I’m much older and much, much wiser now.

All together now - “I’ll let you whip me if I misbehaaaaave…”

77 Responses to “Lustin Timbersnake was right”

  1. Tino Says:

    Heaven help us.

  2. aefro chicque Says:

    Correction: it’s not just ANY old locks. Any fool can get Thomas Mapfumo type locks, the ones that are the totty-magnets are the clean, neat, well maintained ones, that say I am rugged and ready to tumble, but personal hygiene still factors in my life. As fetishes go, that one is up thurr.

  3. Galadriel Says:

    KrYpTiQ, you were there? What were you doing in Bristol and how do you know it was me? I was way in the back . Ululated as it was the only thing I could do to lighten things up in there. I was bored and besides, my sister was graduating with a First in Mathematics Man. It had to be done. I could have done a whole lot worse though.

    Joe, if you got your hair cane rowed, THEN you’d be talking. Still prefer the 70’s fro. Or a ‘Warwick from CSI’ fro, imperfect yet perfect.

  4. aefro chicque Says:

    I hear though that Warwick in real life is a bit of a twat. But god, he is just the beautifullest, with those ‘fine eyes’ as Jane Austen put it.

    More power to the afro!

  5. Strandza Says:

    they state I am dangerous, I make my own path in the world, I do not follow trends (unless it is the trend of having locks). It is something that is against the grain. Women are taught generally to be proper, and so institute getting what could be a “bad boy” to live out their wicked fantasies.

  6. Joe Black Says:

    Not knowing just how much of a good, decent boy I am…poor delusional things.

  7. aefro chicque Says:

    That twig of self-delusion that you are picking out of other people’s eyes…..

  8. Joe Black Says:

    you, shut up :-)

  9. Ms Joseph Says:

    Er… “them goggle-eyed ones watch how I attack.” Don’t make a sista take it to the chorus - I had the lead in Frankie & Johnny. Oops, that was about infidelity. Sheesh… my bad.

  10. aefro chicque Says:

    oooo, you are getting me all excited when you talk dirty. rrrrrrrrr. LOL.

  11. Joe Black Says:

    Babes, there’s nothing to worry about, I ain’t even trying to look at all’a'dem…I know which side my bread is buttered.

    aChic, don’t get me killed up in hurrrr

  12. aefro chicque Says:

    Ms Joseph, I like you, and I don’t say that lightly. we have never been formally introduced, but I’m E, a former seatwarmer of the Scud and Nanny and frequent groupie of the pool sessions, hence my acquaintance with your dreadlocked sprog.

  13. Joe Black Says:

    THREESOME!!!!!

  14. Mushaz Says:

    he he he he he mfana wamhanya, let them come vega! wairasa!

  15. aefro chicque Says:

    I’ll bring my bag of tricks shall I?

  16. aefro chicque Says:

    p.s. that whip you made reference to earlier….?

  17. Joe Black Says:

    I see your whip, and raise you fluffy handcuffs

  18. Ms Joseph Says:

    Hey E, delighted to make your acquaintance. I’m J. All the way, as it happens :) I like you too. (No, Joe, it’s not girl-on-girl lol)

  19. aefro chicque Says:

    I see your handcuffs, raise you a French maid’s uniform, some battery powered items, and body chocolate.

  20. Joe Black Says:

    …so close…

  21. Joe Black Says:

    I fold, too rich for me!

  22. Galadriel Says:

    Wimp!

  23. Joe Black Says:

    grrrr

  24. Ms Joseph Says:

    He got sumn bedda at home. 22, wot u know bout this?

  25. Tino Says:

    Tibvirei apo, hamuna mabasa?

  26. Joe Black Says:

    Please, like you got something better to do!

  27. Strandza Says:

    iwe what are yyou doing Tino?

  28. Tino Says:

    Doing a report for my new manager! Surely there is a life somewhere without work!

  29. Mushaz Says:

    there is its called The Lounge

  30. Joe Black Says:

    ZING!

    Whoop, there it is!

  31. Galadriel Says:

    24 wimped out on bettering Chicque’s Hand.

  32. Ms Joseph Says:

    please

  33. Joe Black Says:

    GIRL FIGHT!!!!

  34. Strandza Says:

    can they wear white shirts….and we have water and oils involved somewhere…skimpy outfits a must

    It’s the law……somewhere

  35. Dumi... Says:

    wrrreeeooooooowwwww!!) - in the left corner….;) now now ladies… deep breaths… JJ, we went over this….. refrain dude..refrain… legal bills are killin us :(

  36. Joe Black Says:

    Seconds awaaaay….Round 1…

    …*fight*.

  37. Ms Joseph Says:

    Ain’t nothin to fight here… when it’s done raining on the lady’s forest, I’m sure we can be civil. Can’t we, madam?

  38. Zandile Says:

    hey Jo we love the lox because they make you seem crazy, like you smoke weed and listen to ragga music and stuff!!

  39. Strandza Says:

    Ms Joseph like where you are going with the while raining in the ladies forest..as in wetness..bush

    If Joe gets this much love for locks, I am getting mine done too..give me about four to six months. then watch out ladies. Of course with my luck it will be out of fashion coz everyone is doing it.

    Zandile what makes you think that he doesn’t do all that

  40. Joe Black Says:

    Uhm, I don’t think that’s what she meant, Strandza.

    Locks will never go out of fashion, it’s the one hairstylie which has stood the test of time and stays strong. Buyakasha.

    Me nah smoke no weed man, junior dred is all, it’s a fashan ting, aight.

  41. aefro chicque Says:

    Bob Marley and weed is a better combo, than weed and ragga. I wonder if I pitched that idea to Chicken Inn if they would bite ‘I’ll have the 2 piecer with a Marley special to go please, no seeds please’

  42. Ms Joseph Says:

    Honestly Strandza! All literary reference is obviously lost on you.

    Wasn’t going there really, but now that you mentioned… Sounds like you’re still a bushman lol. It’s a whole new world dude… all paved and stuff.

  43. Joe Black Says:

    I’ll take the Bob, yeah, but I gave up the Wacky Tobaccy a long time ago :-)

  44. Dumi... Says:

    lol, yup, pamberi ne the paving.., coz huswa hunondiitisa itch, plus hayfever is a B*atch… lol…. although, crazy pavin… now there’s an idea.

  45. aefro chicque Says:

    ms. joe, like dick whittington’s streets paved with gold?

  46. Tino Says:

    29 - haha very funny but I think I’ll keep my kit on.

  47. Joe Black Says:

    Hey you two, so you read books, we don’t care!

  48. Mushaz Says:

    he he he he he usatuke vakadzi, they will pay you back with interest!

  49. Strandza Says:

    and like elephants they never forget

  50. aefro chicque Says:

    re: 40 days Day 12, famous last words:

    53. Joe Black | June 10th, 2007 at 18:22 pm
    Tri-Nations I can do without babes, Besides that, the tri-nations is nothing this year…I don’t really care.

    Even with a bold dash of irony…..

  51. KrYpTiQ Says:

    mmm…strandza, methinks drawing parallels between women and elephants, whatever the context, is leading one’s self down the kind of emotion filled road from which few return. u’re running through a minefield there mate..

  52. Galadriel Says:

    KrYpTiQ, how do you know i was i bristol last summer.

  53. aefro chicque Says:

    munhu anenge achiziva pe akazembera. you don’t make statements like that without knowing the lay of the land so to speak

  54. Strandza Says:

    Thank you for bringing that to every womans attantion KrYpTiQ, I bet they really notice it now, why don’t you just pull the trigger.

  55. Ms Joseph Says:

    Chicque, re 45 - his pussycat. Come on now, we all know Dick Whittington couldn’t stand the heat ;)

    re 51 - Strandza can’t see the danger for the bush obstructing his view lol.

    Gala, so someone knows who you are, big deal. Doesn’t make a difference to the rest of us. Let it go.

    Go JB! Go JB! He’s gonna watch Tri-Nations all sober!

    re 54 - POP! Frankie’s still got her gun :)

  56. Strandza Says:

    Isn’t it Janey’s got a gun?? or is it quote from some literary work I am disparagingly unaware of.
    ref 45

  57. Ms Joseph Says:

    No, Frankie. From Frankie & Johnny. It’s an old American song. I think they made a film of it with Elvis, not sure if there ever was a book. You’re thinking of Aerosmith.

  58. Joe Black Says:

    Eish, the power’s just gone. On Friday night, when I’m even trying to stay at home.

    Feckin ZImbabwe

  59. Galadriel Says:

    I feel for ya Joe. How is the abstinence thing going? And I aint taking the pis either. Just wonderinghow you have been coping.

  60. Joe Black Says:

    Went to the pub. Came out with both liver and lungs intact.

    Go me!

  61. Zandie Says:

    Congratulations

  62. aefro chicque Says:

    With no hint of irony and or sarcasm: sorry that you didn’t make it, will you continue to day 40 then?

  63. Joe Black Says:

    Oh yeah I’ll continue, I did state from the beginning that a slip was possible, even inevitable in a way.

    Still soldiering on with the 40 days though :-)

  64. Tigz Says:

    i dont belive ya JB. but i’m home next week so I shall see for myself

  65. Andy Tee Says:

    http://www.djpeterjohns.co.uk/

  66. Joe Black Says:

    Good man T.I.G., see ya when you get here. Send me an email and I’ll give ya my digits.

  67. Joe Black Says:

    Vakomana ko nhai PJ, shall I do your site for you?

  68. aefro chicque Says:

    Ende shuwa taura hako mwana wa amai, kuti kusiririsa ikwokwo, chero ana ghetto fabbolous vangaite zvirinani. Wotomiramira hama yangu ubatsire bhudi vako. (incidentally the most Shona I have ’spoken’ in months.)

  69. Galadriel Says:

    Oh shoot, if I had seen TIGZ before, I would have sponsored you for a weekend’s drinking at the pub after your 40days 40 nights. Better luck next time Black.

  70. Ms Joseph Says:

    (I love you.)

  71. Joe Black Says:

    LOL

  72. Joe Black Says:

    Ooh, I love you too :-) :-)

  73. aefro chicque Says:

    One word: gogetaroom.

  74. Joe Black Says:

    reply: wewouldaifwecoulda

  75. Joe Black Says:

    Power’s gone, that’s all folks!

  76. Strandza Says:

    just saw this one

    1. If you had purchased $1000 000 worth of Time Bank stock a year ago, it would be worth $49 now.
    With ENG you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1 000 000.
    2. With Kondozi you would have $5 left.
    3. But if you had purchased $1 000 000 worth of beer a year ago; drank all the beer and kept the empties, turn them in now, you would have had $140 000 000.

    Based on the above, current investment advice is to drink heavily and keep the empties. Its called the 401-keg plan.

  77. Joe Black Says:

    Hahahahaha LOL LOL LOL thanks for the insight!!

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