RustyGate

It’s been a long road.

Some will say they believed in him from the start, all will deny having actually voted for “The Mac” yesterday.

Still more will claim they pushed him over the top (here’s looking at you, Virginia Democrats) while others will claim outright credit for his victory.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in the light, and I don’t care when you realised that Barack Hussein Obama was a leading light in dark pit of vipers.

What matters is we’re here, now. Not just Americans, but all citizens of the world, celebrating the remarkable achievements of this young goffal oke from Hawaii.

He didn’t just dare to dream; he dared to challenge US to dream. To hope that maybe, just maybe, Dumbericans may just redeem themselves after the last eight years.

That’s why he won - he made them hope to be better people. I’m not expecting fireworks or even rapid shifts in policy from the start. Bureaucracies are lumbering beasts, at their fastest.

But I’m glad he made it, despite all the negativity - sometimes the good guys really do win.

Welcome to the new world.

Those who know me will testify to the fact that I watch a lot of TV shows. Just not on TV.

By the time stuff comes on MNet, I’ll already have finished the series, and in some cases (like Dirty Sexy Money) I’m onto the second season before the first one is done on telly.

Why? Downloads, of course. I get the shows, watch them on my computer and delete as I go. C’est la vie.

So here I am, easy like Sunday morning, watching this new series called Crusoe. You know the story; white man marooned on an island, teaches savage native The English, hi-jinks ensue. Blah.

Except the native looks awful familiar, and on closer scrutiny I notice the dude playing Friday is … Arnold Chirisa. OUR Arnold Chirisa.

I can’t forget the face, cos I did a lot of video conversion and duplication when I was editing video full-time, and I’ve watched every single frame of Tanyaradzwa over fifty times.

So I scan back to the opening credits and there it is, clear as day. Tongayi Chirisa. Cue head-fuck.

The show itself seems a little weak, the dialogue is cliched and stilted, and Chirisa’s Man Friday speaks in what I can only call Gwash African Ingrish, but it’s worth a watch just to celebrate a (rare) Zimbabwean brother done good. And the fights.

So here’s to you Arnold Chirisa - fly that flag high bwoy, and we wish you good things on the Big Stage.

They should pay ME to run around a fucking island. Jesus.

Hello boys and girls, daddy’s been a little too busy to spend time with you lately. Sorry for that, I still love you but you know daddy’s got to work, okay?

I’ll be sure to make time for you on the weekend and tell you a lovely story, yeah? My cars just gone in fora  service so movement will be limited, but don’t worry, I’ll find something to write about, alright?

Lovely. Wave to the nice Liverpool man, now.

I get annoyed. I don’t mean to go all Muckracker on y’all, but sometimes I get really annoyed.

I get annoyed when I read The Herald, not because of the shoddy Engrish, or the hack-job editing. No. It’s the stories themselves that piss me off.

Like the tale of the day … Outrage over Tsvangirai boycott. Well.

Zimbabweans yesterday roundly condemned MDC-T leader Mr Morgan Tsvangirai’s decision to boycott a Sadc Troika meeting…

Misleading, right off the bat. “Zimbabweans”, is it? I count four Zimbabweans quoted in the article roundly condemning MT. Two are fanatical Mugabe mouthpieces, whilst the other two “man-on-the-street” quotes may as well be blind quotes.

If the “Herald Reporter” (may as well read Office of the President) had been bothered to actually survey across the wide spectrum of Zimbabweans, I think he’d have been hard-pressed to find anyone as “disappointed and disillusioned” as Anna Kahari.

They are sowing seeds of chaos and mayhem and the people of Zimbabwe will hold Tsvangirai liable.

No ma’am. With all due respect, we know who to hold liable for any chaos or mayhem. Trust me, we won’t be very forgiving of their apologists either. Shameless.

Zanu-PF accused MDC-T of “waffling” and trying to hide behind the issue of a passport in a bid to derail the inter-party talks.

I like that. The issue of a passport. Why has it become an issue in the first place? Surely SOMEONE in The Party realises that MT’s freedom of movement is being restricted. Surely the “constitution” has been read by at least SOME of the Party Functionaries. Surely? Issue?

And yes, Bright Matonga is always good for a laugh. Even though I may be related to the poor delusional bugger.

There is no one who is bigger than the wishes of the people of Zimbabwe.

What we want to make very clear as Zanu-PF and Government is that no one will ever hold this country to ransom, we do not care who they are.

Well said, hama. Though it makes me wonder, what with all the hoarding and shit going on in Harare, someone must have a really big stash of the good stuff.

Pass the drugs, guys. Sharing is caring.

P.S. Almost in the same breath, we also get stories about Zim getting US$500m from the Global Fund, over 700,000 people being fed by World Vision (alone), and Harare firefighters striking over food.

Let’s blame it all on Tsvangirai and his illegal sanctions, eh? Oh.