RustyGate

Didn’t you go to school, dude? Who fails at grinding?

Yesterday, Kimberley Process monitor for Zimbabwe Mr Abbey Chikane described his fact-finding mission to the country as a success and said he would return in the coming few weeks to certify rough diamonds for export.

Wonderful news! I guess that means we’ll be well on our way to legally selling “our” diamonds internationally, so our country can move forward and develop on the back of our vast mineral riches. Awesome! Provided Abbey Chikane does certify.

The welcome this guy has received reminds me of another feted guest, greeted with pomp and fanfare and love and traditional dances.

Remember Anna Tibaijuka?

In June 2005, the Secretary General appointed Tibaijuka as his Special Envoy to study the impact of the Zimbabwean Government’s campaign (known as Operation Murambatsvina) to evict informal traders and people deemed to be squatting illegally in certain areas. As the evictions were concentrated on areas which had traditionally strongly supported the oppositional Movement for Democratic Change, many commentators believed the campaign was politically motivated. Although this was denied by the Zimbabwean Government, there was strong international criticism.

For example, ZTV (25/7,8pm) quoted Information Minister Tichaona Jokonya accusing Tibaijuka of having come to assess the clampdown “without an open mind” and saying “she was on a mission to satisfy Tony Blair’s agenda”.

It was in this context that The Herald and Chronicle (25/7) reported President Mugabe as having invited UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan to visit Zimbabwe “to see for himself the situation on the ground” because as he told ZTV (26/7, 8pm), The Herald and Chronicle (27/7), Tibaijuka’s assessment of Murambatsvina was pre-determined.

The two papers (27/7) quoted him alleging that Tibaijuka had told him “her hands were tied” because “certain people had been planted in her assessment mission to ensure that the report was damning”.

Any guesses what will happen when Abbey (inevitably) proclaims that something stinks?

Prepare for the smackdown.

You

This is just a quick note to tell you, dear reader, that I am pulling the wagons of life very well.

I have been gripped in the bonds of employment very tightly of recent, henceforth and therefore I find myself unable to pen a missive longer than this short letter.

Please forgive me for it is not ignorance, dear reader, that makes it so. I shall attempt to write you longer and more meaningful missives detailing events in this many-faceted existence I call life.

Lots of love, and may the bananas of life bend in your direction

Ever yours

Me

Witness what happens when a Supreme Court judge interferes in the exploitation of “our” natural resources, and advances the cause of British neo-colonialists (whites) bent on stealing “our” wealth.

“The deputy sheriff then took the case with the diamonds to the Reserve Bank and surrendered them to the officials. While the deputy sheriff was still at the Reserve Bank, Assistant Commissioner Gumbo came to the Reserve Bank accompanied by several armed policemen and demanded at the ‘order of the minister’ that the diamonds be handed over to him.

We do not know what he (Gumbo) did with the diamonds. We consider that the actions of Assistant Commissioner Gumbo were completely unlawful and in contempt of a court order.

It is bad enough that the Minister of Mines should personally interfere with the judicial process of implementing an order of the Supreme Court. However, the position was made worse by the fact that Assistant Commissioner Gumbo, because he was told by the minister to seize the diamonds from the deputy sheriff or officials of the Reserve Bank, did so without any attempt to ascertain that the order of the minister was lawful. There is no rule of law if police officers blindly carry out an order given by a minister of state. Police officers should only act when they are satisfied that the complaint of the minister has a sound legal base.

We ask that this matter be investigated and that appropriate action be taken against Assistant Commissioner Gumbo. We also ask you to confirm that the Deputy Sheriff will not be obstructed in his duties, particularly in the enforcement of the provisions of the Order of the Supreme Court in case No SC 2307 09, and that the necessary instructions are issued to the Commissioner-General of the ZRP.”

Viva Zimbabwe, Viva! Viva our Sovrenity, Viva!

Watched the eighth episode of 24 season 8 last night. And promptly fell asleep. I woke up after a little while, only to find Her, who absolutely LOVES 24, fast asleep.

First of all, I remember you getting stabbed last week, Jack. In the belly. With a knife. Before the Russians took you away.

Now they’re torturing you, suspended by your wrists from a ceiling pipe, feet half-a-metre from the floor. You’re taking electric shocks to your bleeding knife-wound in the belly, and still refusing to talk. Awesome!

Wait a minute, you’ve knocked this guy out with your legs? Holy crap, now you’ve jiggled up and down until the pipe has dislodged and you free yourself? Oh wait, he’s getting up, you rush into action and break his kneck? Goddamn, Jack.

Now you’re up, gun in hand, ducking and diving through a firefight that you INEVITABLY win?

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

We’re not ten years old, Jack. This stupid shit just doesn’t cut it anymore. Show us a little respect, goddamnit.

I’m so bored. Please stop it, stop it now. Put him out of his misery.

24 is boring.