RustyGate

Didn’t you go to school, dude? Who fails at grinding?

Just heard the “reboot” of Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie’s 1985 classic hit, We Are The World.

I feel like ripping off my ears and flushing them down the toilet, and if I never hear another note of music I’ll be happy.

Holy crap it sucks, it really sucks. The original is the highest-selling single in history, so you just KNEW someone was gonna have at it someday.

I just didn’t expect them to get people like LITTLE FUCKING WAYNE to help ruin it.

This is bad. I need therapy. I need help. I need Biggie Smalls.

*open iTunes, select Hypnotize, press play*

Aaaah. Much better.

Witness what happens when a Supreme Court judge interferes in the exploitation of “our” natural resources, and advances the cause of British neo-colonialists (whites) bent on stealing “our” wealth.

“The deputy sheriff then took the case with the diamonds to the Reserve Bank and surrendered them to the officials. While the deputy sheriff was still at the Reserve Bank, Assistant Commissioner Gumbo came to the Reserve Bank accompanied by several armed policemen and demanded at the ‘order of the minister’ that the diamonds be handed over to him.

We do not know what he (Gumbo) did with the diamonds. We consider that the actions of Assistant Commissioner Gumbo were completely unlawful and in contempt of a court order.

It is bad enough that the Minister of Mines should personally interfere with the judicial process of implementing an order of the Supreme Court. However, the position was made worse by the fact that Assistant Commissioner Gumbo, because he was told by the minister to seize the diamonds from the deputy sheriff or officials of the Reserve Bank, did so without any attempt to ascertain that the order of the minister was lawful. There is no rule of law if police officers blindly carry out an order given by a minister of state. Police officers should only act when they are satisfied that the complaint of the minister has a sound legal base.

We ask that this matter be investigated and that appropriate action be taken against Assistant Commissioner Gumbo. We also ask you to confirm that the Deputy Sheriff will not be obstructed in his duties, particularly in the enforcement of the provisions of the Order of the Supreme Court in case No SC 2307 09, and that the necessary instructions are issued to the Commissioner-General of the ZRP.”

Viva Zimbabwe, Viva! Viva our Sovrenity, Viva!

Watched the eighth episode of 24 season 8 last night. And promptly fell asleep. I woke up after a little while, only to find Her, who absolutely LOVES 24, fast asleep.

First of all, I remember you getting stabbed last week, Jack. In the belly. With a knife. Before the Russians took you away.

Now they’re torturing you, suspended by your wrists from a ceiling pipe, feet half-a-metre from the floor. You’re taking electric shocks to your bleeding knife-wound in the belly, and still refusing to talk. Awesome!

Wait a minute, you’ve knocked this guy out with your legs? Holy crap, now you’ve jiggled up and down until the pipe has dislodged and you free yourself? Oh wait, he’s getting up, you rush into action and break his kneck? Goddamn, Jack.

Now you’re up, gun in hand, ducking and diving through a firefight that you INEVITABLY win?

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

We’re not ten years old, Jack. This stupid shit just doesn’t cut it anymore. Show us a little respect, goddamnit.

I’m so bored. Please stop it, stop it now. Put him out of his misery.

24 is boring.

The Book of Eli. Starring Denzel Washington as a pilgrim walking across a barren post-apocalyptic wasteland of thirst and despair.

In his possession a precious book, the last of its kind, a book sought far and wide by murderous bandits, a book coveted by a power-hungry madman.

The book? A bible! The “walker”? Booooooring. The action sequences? Stilted. The storyline? Formulaic.

And then we find … the book is in braille. All along, Denzel was blind. Blind I say!

It’s I Am Legend without the dog.