Joe Black was born in the summer of 1979, with Zimbabwe on the verge of total independence. Having missed the dreaded ‘born-free’ tag by mere months, he proceeded to grow into a fine upstanding citizen of the new democracy. Not.
You may be surprised at the colours! I haven't converted to Old Hararians - I remain a Harare Sports Club man. I'd lost a bet to the OH coach, so we had to change for a while. Now I kinda like it ...
So I’m sitting here watching the football friendly between South Africa and Zimbabwe. Go Warriors, go!
Firstly, can’t help but wonder if ZIFA skimped on travel costs by selecting a squad made up of mostly SA-based players. No shocks there, although I’m still wondering if Zhaimu Jambo deserves a cap.
Secondly, both teams are wearing Adidas kit, but SA are looking sleek and lithe, yet Zim are the usual deformed baggy Dickensian urchins we always are, and that kit looks like it was sewn together in some sweaty pit of despair in deepest darkest Djibouti.
Plus, the flags on the chest were slapped on kinda squank.
Thirdly, this stadium is pretty full for a fucking friendly, and it makes for a raucous atmosphere, with the usual intermittent hum of vuvuzelas in the background. Talk about atmosphere.
Oh well, seeing as I’m going back to work on Monday, I guess I’ll watch this game then the Manchester derby after (go City) – and see if I can down this bottle of Klipdrift.
As you take a break from the links to pretend you love your family, I would like to offer my humble thanks for approaching the field of adultery with all the zeal and determination with which you approach the sport of golf.
It takes a special kind of talent, the world-changing, once-in-a-lifetime kind of talent, to sink your penis into 15 skinny white bitches, of whom not one has ever met a camera she wouldn’t whore her shit for. There’s only one word for that, sir – “Wow”.
I know you wish these whores had kept their mouths (unlike their legs) firmly shut, but I want you to know that I am not surprised the white people are coming after you. What, you thought it was gonna last? You thought you’d be the one black man to get away with beating the white man at his own game? Really?
As for the adultery, I’m a grown up, and your whoring it up like a sailor on shore leave is none of my business. What gets me is that you whored it up with skanks who all look like carnival versions of your wife, and that’s just sad, dude.
And you married a model, you stupid fuck.
Anyway, have fun getting back in her bed, and I hope to see you back on the course, turning shit out like only you can, my man.
If you missed it, here’s a clip of my new favourite reggae singer, Durban’s very own Ras Dumisani. This was him singing the SA national anthem before their rugby Test against France on Friday.
Highlights? Brian Hapana catching a giggle, and Schalk Burger looking like he wants to moer someone!
Maybe that last joint before taking the field, like singing the harmony parts, may not have been your finest idea, Ras Dumisani.
So I’ve been doing a likkle checking up on who exactly this cat is, now that he’s a superstar and an instant sensation, especially among us self-professed Bok-haters.
Turns out he was mates with some interesting characters, including the late Lucky Dube. He’s big in Europe, and is “well-loved in his native KZN”.
The jokes write themselves, don’t they?
P.S. – May I present a true rasta man, Peter Tosh. Bumboclaat!
I have been a football fan all my life, and have never seen a club with so much potential yet so little ambition as Liverpool.
Is it that we hold so many domestic titles and so many European titles, we’ve just stopped fucking caring? Is there so little ambition to achieve because we hold the records for the most anythings by any English club, ever?
Is it that the current team is so dependent on Gerrard and (or) Torres that without both, everything goes to shit?
Is it the coach, who has managed to assemble a steady first team but with no viable backup for each position?
Is it the Yanks, who have failed to back the coach with robust transfer spend while bickering amongst themselves and flirting with arabic buyers?
Is it us, the fans, who expect more than we should from what could just be a mediocre team with random flashes of brilliance?
