RustyGate

It’s not just that I was backing Ivory Coast to win the 2008 edition of the African Cup of Nations. No, that’s not it.

Nor even the fact that Ghana, the hosts, have been booted in the semi-finals of their own tourney. By a Cameroon who have won the damn thing every time they’ve beaten the hosts in the semis.

Well, either that or get raped by Egypt like they did in the first game. Anyway.

It’s that both Michael Essien and Didier Drogba will be available to fucking destroy Liverpool on Sunday.

Life kinda sucks sometimes.

So, finally we get the details and reasoning behind Harbhajan Singh being absolved of making a racist comment against Australia. I’m not gonna go on at length about it, cos I’m incensed at the entire process and the results, but in the interests of information dissemination, here are few choice nuggets I’ve picked up. Like, how Sachin Tendulkar’s word may have played a big part.

Tendulkar said he heard Harbhajan use a term in his native tongue “teri maa ki” which appears to be pronounced with an “n”. He said this is a term that sounds like “monkey” and could be misrepresented for it.

‘And thus fell Lord Perth, and the earth did shake with that thunder.’ – Stephen King. Goodbye SRT, thanks for the memories.

Of course the Aussies are pissed off, and not kuti their very own art form has come back to bite them in the arse. Apparently Cricket Australia “caved” to the money-spinning Indians, and they’re mighty miffed down under.

In what the paper described as a “brazen act of provocation”, the Indian board chartered a plane to whisk their one-day squad from Melbourne - the venue for Friday’s Twenty20 fixture - to Adelaide, so that they could fly home to India if the charges against Harbhajan were not dropped. The move was described by MV Sridhar, the team’s assistant manager, as a “show of solidarity”.

Money talks, bullshit walks apparently. But wait, what’s this I hear from Sri Lanka’s board, due to play a lucrative tri-series against Aus and India soon? A little Asian solidarity perhaps? Surely not.

Ranatunga, a former Sri Lankan captain, called for a ban on sledging and hoped the Australians would learn their lessons from this controversy.

And finally, this little pearl from the stump microphone, which apparently recorded Mathew Hayden a little pissed off with Bhajji after the slur.

“You’ve got a witness now, champ,” says Hayden. “It’s racial vilification, mate. It’s a shit word and you know it.”

Make up your own mind; I just happen to recognise the smell of bullshit.

My sources are here, here, here and here. Debate continues on the Guardian Unlimited site here.

So yesterday three large men picked me up from my house, and off we went drinking. And I saw Vim. And I ended up at the casino (the one at Rainbow Towers / Sheraton / That Dirty Old Building), and I’ll tell you one thing; I suck at black-jack. And I don’t mean eTV suck, I mean hard-core, Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick sucking. Couldn’t win shit.

Speaking of shit, I can’t believe the Indians beat Australia. I suppose you have to give them credit for trying, but I’ll tell you that right now there’s one entity that pisses me off in this world, and that’s India cricket. There’s no way I’ll get caught up in this yippee, it’s-great-for-the-game, someone-beat-Oz lovefest. Socialism is dead.

Speaking of socialists, am I the only one who thinks Segolene Royale is hot? Cos she is smoking. If you don’t know, she’s the dolly what lost the French presidential erection to that little fascist Sarkozy.

Speaking of Sarkozy, seen his new chick Carla Bruni? Hot she is, granted. I’ve also seen her tits. What price the future first lady of France having snaps taken with her tits out? I love it.

Speaking of love, anyone who loves Liverpool will be hoping those two Yankee bastards who bought the club get the hell out asap. Are you kidding me? They gots to go, and leave Rafa the Gaffa alone.

And after that series of unfortunate segues, I bid you adieu, children, and don’t make noise cos daddy’s got a hangover.

This is the second time Harbhajan Singh has called Andrew Symonds a monkey. This, as we all seem to know (except apparently in India) is a racial slur.

When is the ICC going to find it’s balls and say “enough”, and stop taking so much pressure from the BCCI.

This is intolerable, not just in high-level sport, but in any section of civilised society, and the fact that the ICC is kow-towing to its financial center in India makes me sick to my stomach.

Instead of bleating, the BCCI should be accepting whatever ICC disciplinary action comes Bhaju’s way, and sanctioning their own (supposedly professional) sportsman for what is an egregious breach of the ICC’s Code of Conduct.

Or is racism now condoned in India?

…fuck!