RustyGate

If a picture tells a thousand words, this is The Iliad. Fox News must be creaming themselves.

If u didn’t know,  he’s being dressed as a Somali elder by Sheikh Mahmed Hassan during a 2006 visit (as a senator) to Wajir in northeastern Kenya, near the borders with Somalia and Ethiopia.

Comrades, I must admit I have a rebellion on my hands.

My computer is split into three factions with all of them up in arms (prolly cos they’re cut from the same cloth). The entire system is on a go-slow, resource usage is sky-rocketing and now even the smaller programs are refusing to function.

First I thought I’d been infected by a virus from outside; but after purging a variety of files with no solution, it seems the problem is an internal matter which somehow slipped through all my safeguards.

I have tried all sorts of stop-gap measures, removing unnecessary software to curb leakage of resources, but I’m now having issues with the basic hardware itself. My memory is failing, the screen fades out and even blanks out occasionally; the central processor is having a hell of a time trying to cope.

I’m even past the stage where regular reboots are helpful. The system crashes when I run video, open too many connections to the rest of the world, even when I plug in (or remove) peripherals. Bloody hell, if I disconnect the power cable for a second the whole system freezes.

I think it’s time to declare a state of emergency here. I’ll call in the Linux cavalry and wipe the entire thing out, amalgamate all three partitions, and rebuild the system on a back-to-basics template.

Or maybe I’ll just admit failure and give my laptop to another user.

Given that I am always complaining, I decided to give myself a break and think of 10 things I am actually happy about and give thanks for:

1. My family, the good, the bad and the extremely ugly leeching ones too. They are a fantastic support network and my mother is the coolest bank in the world.
2. Being able to talk to people, see them, listen to them, smell what fragrance they are wearing and have a cold drink and taste it all at the same time: my 5 senses
3. That despite taking up 2 or 3 seats on the kombi that I do have my health. There will be no ‘garisanayi five five here’.
4. I have really good hair, which I am not too attached to, evidenced by my shaving it all off 3 times.
5. Sunlight. I can’t get enough of the stuff. Especially winter sun, turning your face up to meet its warm rays and that feel good feeling it gives you.
6. The cut price supermarket which permits my survival in those key countdown days before payday when the cupboard is well and truly bare.
7. I have really good taste in clothes. Since we are not being negative I won’t mention how that good taste doesn’t apply to the men in my life.
8. Making the most of my early 20s. I was beautiful, I knew it and goddamn the rest of the world knew it too.
9. Being able to laugh at myself and trying not to take myself too seriously. When it’s all said and done, it ain’t a thing.
10. Just being alive. Many comrades in arms have I lost.

My net’s been down since last Wednesday. But I’m back now.

So … Hi.

It’s not just that I was backing Ivory Coast to win the 2008 edition of the African Cup of Nations. No, that’s not it.

Nor even the fact that Ghana, the hosts, have been booted in the semi-finals of their own tourney. By a Cameroon who have won the damn thing every time they’ve beaten the hosts in the semis.

Well, either that or get raped by Egypt like they did in the first game. Anyway.

It’s that both Michael Essien and Didier Drogba will be available to fucking destroy Liverpool on Sunday.

Life kinda sucks sometimes.