Get your maths right, people. Governor Gideon Gono (aka GGG) has slashed TEN zeros from the Zimbabwean currency (in addition to the the three he removed last time0.
Now, you’d think this would be done in multiples of three. That would make accounting sense, wouldn’t it? COMMON sense, really. You do your maths in grades of threes, from thousands, millions and so forth.
But not our Reserve Bank, no. In a collosal effort to confuse an entire nation (not forgetting an entire planet of bemused onlookers) they remove TEN.
So, in essence, your 100,000,000,000.00 (a hundred billion) becomes ten dollars. A trillion becomes (let’s see, one, two …) 100 bucks, so to have a thousand Zimbabwe dollars you need ten trillion right now.
Wow. You couldn’t make it up.
I had a great weekend, my fellow Happy Mutants, and I hope you had one too. I got to hang out with my favourite girl, all weekend, and that’s enough to keep any simple man happy. Too bad I’m anything but simple, eh?
Saturday was a bit of a bitch, though. From New Zealand taking it up ye olde rectum in the morning (34-19 to the Wallabies? In 2008? Guys?!?), to Harare Sports Club giving up two tries in the dying minutes masikati … wasn’t my rugby weekend, really.
On the plus, We got to hang out with my Big Sis Evonne, who is nutty as ever and sweetness to boot.
And now it’s Monday. Here we go again. Fuck.
Anyone who knows me will notice that I tend to pick up on sometimes random nuances in any given conversation or situation.
Usually this translates to mocking of Shonglish pronunciation (”I am going to bird”) or roaring sarcasm at the idiocy of sports commentary. I even talk like a kid sometimes, just to make my niece sound intelligent.
So I couldn’t help noticing a few things during the now-infamous ‘pact’ signing ceremony at the Sheraton yesterday. One, of course, being the fact that it was held at the Sheraton instead of Zimbabwe House. Hmmm.
“… the president of Zanu-PF party, Comrade Robert Mugabe”.
Well. That’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone in the MDC call your uncle “Comrade”. Interesting.
……………………………………………..
On another note, what’s this all about, anyway? People are hailing this as some sort of New Dawn of Hope for Zimbabwe. Really? Surely all they’ve done is agree to talk … haven’t they been talking for three years?
If anything, this all seems awfully familiar, given the events of the eighties and the eventual emasculation and wholesale rapage of a certain vibrant political party?
And does anyone really believe that Some are suddenly willing to make concessions, considering the events of the past four months and Their blatant refusal to either consider the much-vaunted Will of the People, or to put said People before petty personal power-grabbing and partisan political pandering?
Am I alone in being just a leeeetle bit sceptical?
P.S. Shout-out to my nigga Simba Makoni, Crown Prince of Nomansland. How’s the view from the cheap seats?
So the English newspapers were shitting all over South African cricketer Abraham de Villiers the whole of last week. The bugger took a catch in the first Test which turned out to have bounced. Yeah, okay.
So AB de Villiers walks out to bat in this second Test, and all the massive English support can think of is to boo the boy. Now, we all know cricket has a certain reputation regarding ettiquete, and this unseemly display from the Pommy crowd was … well, unseemly.
So what did AB de Villiers do? He bashed them for 174 runs.
Nice way to ruin a good Sunday, you bladdy Poms. Next time leave the bugger alone. You’ve learnt nothing from the Stephen Fleming years, I see.
Gosh, if SA win this Supersport will be insufferable.
