RustyGate

Shopping at OK Fife Avenue was a harrowing experience.

Soon as I walked through the doors and picked up a basket, I could feel a tingle in the air. As I picked up my third packet of chicken, I felt a presence at my right shoulder.

“Boss”.

Oh fuck, here we go.

“Uhm, are you using cash or a card?”

Come on, this again? We’re back here now? I thought we’d moved past this. Oh well, lemme order something from their (admittedly dodgy-looking) hot deli. Hmmm, rice and chicken stew looks … acceptable.

“Sorry my friend, are you using cash?”

Dude.

Off to the dry goods section scouting for rice, and I swear this guy literally chased me down at pace. I swivelled and looked him square in the eye …

“No!”

Three more times I was approached by The Cashless, and three more times I said NO before they could finish their approach.

I mean Jeebus, I don’t have any cash but you don’t see me harrassing innocent folk down the local market, yeah?

At least I only had to swipe once this time.