If a movie features blue people, is it called a blue movie? I’ll explain.

We started watching James Cameron’s Avatar after midnight, and I thought Minnie would (as usual) sleep after a few minutes.

Not. A. Chance.

Instead of the normal yawn-rollover-yawn-sleep routine, she was all over the place, covering her eyes, cheering, screaming, laughing, ooohing and aaahing for two and a half hours – with good reason.

I’ve watched many of this year’s films, and I have to say  Avatar comes pretty high in the ranking. It’s exciting, it’s gutting, it’s sad, happy, revolutionary … awesome.

It’s quite hard-hitting historically, with some overt nationalism, and a not-at-all-subtle excoriation of white settler behaviour in America. In fact, it could be used as a critique of Imperialism in general, but the fate of native Americans in particular is front and center.

But it isn’t the politics of the film that got me, it’s the sheer scale of it. Cameron has form in making big films with loads of CGI, having done the amazing Lord of the Rings trilogy, and I can tell you he’s having a great innings.

This is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen, and for this year’s films, maybe only The Hurt Locker was better, with Inglorious Basterds and The Blind Side coming in a close third and fourth respectively.

Go see Avatar – you won’t regret it.

Got back from Vumba yesterday. Tired as hell.

Drank a lot of whisky. Johnnie Black is awesome. Forest Hills Lodges is an awesome place.

Walked into Leopard Rock Casino with $50 and walked out with $260.

Tried to come home, but couldn’t resist staying at Musangano Lodge for one more night.

Pictures are on Facebook.

I need a nap.

Dear Tiger

As you take a break from the links to pretend you love your family, I would like to offer my humble thanks for approaching the field of adultery with all the zeal and determination with which you approach the sport of golf.

It takes a special kind of talent, the world-changing, once-in-a-lifetime kind of talent, to sink your penis into 15 skinny white bitches, of whom not one has ever met a camera she wouldn’t whore her shit for. There’s only one word for that, sir – “Wow”.

I know you wish these whores had kept their mouths (unlike their legs) firmly shut, but I want you to know that I am not surprised the white people are coming after you. What, you thought it was gonna last? You thought you’d be the one black man to get away with beating the white man at his own game? Really?

As for the adultery, I’m a grown up, and your whoring it up like a sailor on shore leave is none of my business. What gets me is that you whored it up with skanks who all look like carnival versions of your wife, and that’s just sad, dude.

And you married a model, you stupid fuck.

Anyway, have fun getting back in her bed, and I hope to see you back on the course, turning shit out like only you can, my man.

Sorry I couldn’t get in touch sooner.

Your nigger friend.