Captain’s Log: September 2016

Captain’s Log: September 2016

Day 366 of year 37, 3rd rock from the sun, Milky Way Galaxy

Captain Broken Jaw, Slapaho Tribe, of the Imperial Metaship Fuckaduck, 2 September 2016, Earth Time.

Chosen mate has proven suitable, and a highly capable companion. The result has been a quite pleasant relationship experience which may prove crucial in keeping me balanced and steady on my mission. Will maintain.

There are few signs of intelligent life, and what sentient beings I have discovered appear to thrive in a constant state of conflict. Whether within their own limited psyches, or with the world around them, they appear to always be at war.

Leadership systems among┬áthese limited beings are mostly primitive, and it is often the strongest of the tribe who leads. Such primitive societies are therefore ruled rather than governed, giving natives the chance to engage in their most favourite pastime – conflict.

Due to dwindling resources, and the aforementioned low mental capacity of this planet’s inhabitants, an emergency evacuation may be required. Given their propensity for tribal conflict, this could be soon. If not, their dependence on fossil fuels will deteriorate the environment and atmosphere to an uninhabitable shell, much like our home planet.

There is also a worrying trend towards religious strife, another indicator of the low levels of intelligence obtaining among this planet’s inhabitants. Though the planetary archives show that this is nothing new, my vast experience tells me that it is coming to a head.

Nevertheless, Earth is not completely doomed. I shall continue my mission to document and study useful species, and assimilate into the local populace.

ENDS