How ya doin? When I walked into the Scud & Nanny, you were sitting with a dude. What happened? Oh, I remember, he went to the loo and arrowed for the door.
Shame, was that before or after he paid for the ribs you were wolfing at the bar? I’m guessing before, cos you started jonesing for my other mate real bad.
Gotta tell you though, you were out of line, poking me in the back with your finger, pushing up on me and demanding to know where he’d gone to. Listen bitch, I don’t have a GPS tracker on the guy. He’s probably moved somewhere he doesn’t have to fend off the advances of an ugly, no-English, bad-breath beeyatch.
You don’t quit though, cos you started stroking my OTHER mate’s face right there. Aren’t you the shameless desperado? Learn to take a hint, right? If I turn my back on ya, I don’t want you at my table.
So next time, whore, take your nasty, shiny-weave, granny-drawers-with-white-pants-wearing ass back to Tipperary’s where you belong.
I just wanna have a quiet drink without being accosted by Miss Baltimore Crabs.
Disgustedly
Guy you poked in the back with your dirty fake nail.
In today’s what-the-fuck-did-you-expect section, take a look at this report from 2004.
Swazi King Mswati III has taken a 16-year-old Miss Teen Swaziland finalist as his 12th wife … Nothando Dube – the first princess in the recent Miss Teen Swaziland beauty pageant – has been taken to be the 36-year-old Mswati III’s next wife.
Wonderful. Now check this out, breaking news.
Swazi King Mswati’s royal house has been rocked by a new sex scandal in which his wife, Nothando Dube, was allegedly caught having sex with his close ally, justice minister Ndumiso Mamba.
The minister and the queen were arrested on Tuesday night at a luxury hotel, the Royal Villas, at Ezulwini outside Mbabane.
That’s what happens when you take children, fuck them, tell them they own the world, then abandon them in a palace with fuck-all to do.
Queen’s a ho-ho. Also, this guy is, literally, fucked.
(updated below)
BBC World just gave a breaking news flash saying that there are ambulances and fire trucks on the runway at Harare International Airport.
They say it’s possible a flight from Britain may have crashed or developed problems on the runway, and to stay tuned. WTF!
Also Naomi Campbell is lying. “I didn’t flirt with Charles Taylor … I’d never heard of Liberia … I don’t know who gave me dirty-looking pebbles”.
Yeah, right.
Update from Reuters AlertNet.
HARARE, Aug 5 (Reuters) – Zimbabwean Civil Aviation authorities said on Thursday an aircraft was involved in an accident at Harare airport leading to injuries but no deaths. Civil Aviation Authority of Zimbabwe Chief Executive David Chawota could give no further details. “I can confirm there has been an accident, but I cannot give details right now. I am not at the site, but there are just injuries, no deaths,” Chawota said. (Reporting by Nelson Banya; Writing by Marius Bosch)
Update II
HARARE/LONDON, Aug 5 (Reuters) – A Zimbabwean aviation official said on Thursday an accident reported at Harare airport was an exercise and no aircraft were involved in any incident. “There was a drill. We have to test our preparedness, and response capabilities every now and then,” said the senior official of the Civil Aviation Authority, who declined to be identified. Zimbabwean authorities will be holding a news briefing later on Thursday. Britain’s Foreign Office also said the incident was a drill. “As we understand it, it’s a drill, it isn’t real, it hasn’t really happened,” a British Foreign Office spokeswoman said. Civil Aviation authorities earlier reported there had been an accident at the airport leading to injuries but no deaths, and media reports said the flight involved had originated in London. A Reuters witness said the situation at the airport was normal with people waiting for flights arriving and departing. (Writing by Nelson Banya in Harare and Michael Holden in London; Writing by Marius Bosch; editing by Andrew Dobbie)
If a Zimbabwean marries a Nigerian, is their child called an Ogazim?
