Last week wasn’t the best. In fact, it was as fucked-up a week as I’ve had in a long while.

The main takeaway from all the B.S. I had to go through was simple – trust nobody. In truth, only YOU have your best interests at heart, and only YOU can decide your own fate, your own actions, your own RE-actions. And only you can be responsible for your own happiness.

Nobody owes you anything. It’s fine to expect a business deal to come through, and it’s normal to expect a payment on time. But face it, sometimes, it won’t happen the way you planned it. That guy won’t pay. The call doesn’t come through. Your courier leaves your stuff behind. Shit happens.

The only way to make it is to just relax and try again. Try again. Do better work, or work longer hours. Take your time. Make better contacts. Make better deals. Hire better people, or make do with what you have.

Keep calm and carry on.

You’ll be okay.

In the past decade, the U.S. and/or Israel have invaded, air attacked, and/or occupied Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia, Yemen, Libya, Lebanon, Sudan, Syria, the West Bank and the Gaza Strip (to say nothing of the creation of a worldwide torture regime, a system of “black site” prisons around the world to which people were disappeared, and a due-process-free detention camp in the middle of the Caribbean Ocean where many people remain encaged for almost a full decade without charges).

During this same time period, Iran has not invaded, occupied or air attacked anyone. Iran, to be sure, is domestically oppressive, but no more so — and in many cases less — than the multiple regimes funded, armed and otherwise propped up by the U.S. during this period.

Those are all just facts.

- Glenn Greenwald

To all you people using your God to engage in what is essentially a legal argument (the pertinent question is about gay RIGHTS) you need to remember, Zimbabwe is not a Christian nation anymore than it is an Islamic nation or Hindu nation.

Zimbabwe is a secular republic, and therefore governed by laws. And once the state begins to legislate sexual activity, the loss of civil liberties begins.

Do you know that under the current laws, you can’t have anal sex with your wife? Because it’s sodomy. This is the same law that can be used against The Gays, even though their sexual preferences are protected from infringement in another Act.

So my question is this: if they start with the gays, who’s next? Because as adults it’s their choice, but if their choice is wrong to legislators, they’ll outlaw it. So who’s next? Muslims? What about Tongas. Maybe the Indians will get their turn. And I swear I’ve always mistrusted those horse-racing bastards. And toungue-kissing in public pisses me off.

So what then? All they want is to have equal protection under the law, and nobody else has the right to judge and manage someone else’s lifestyle. And anyone of you claiming that right be it on religious or otherwise grounds is WRONG.

Who are you to judge what grown folk do in their bedrooms.

As if your activities are any cleaner. LOL.

I find a serious disconnect between our modern-day and constantly-evolving notions of gender equality, and the archaic tradition of lobola.

These days, and feel free to correct me, women expect to walk into marriage on an equal footing, minus the age-old customs and behavioural norms of our parents and our parents’ parents.

I have heard it said that some ladies are loath to cook, clean or look after their husbands. There’s a maid for that. I even hear some women expect their husbands to do an equal share of housework, as if equitable chore distribution is an indicator of a perfect power balance.

I have even heard a couple of unmarried sisters vowing that they won’t be nobody’s maid thank you *snap-snap-snap* and getting married isn’t slavery.

Okay. Let’s talk about this, then.

You say you want to abandon the traditional marital setup, with the man as the head of the house in all things, and the woman responsible for the household upkeep and all relevant issues like food, clothing and cleaning.

If that’s the case, why not abandon all the traditions? Why does the man have to pay a bride price for you? If it’s not slavery, and since you’re 100% equal, why accept to be sold off like a cow at market?

If the thought of ironing your man’s shirt and making him breakfast before he (and indeed, you) go to work offends your feminist sensibilities, doesn’t the thought of being PAID FOR offend you even more?

How do you reconcile the two, sister? Riddle me that.

See, I believe this current MTV generation of Destiny’s Children and pizza-fed Kardashianites find the IDEA of cooking and cleaning and picking up after a man repulsive.

Look, if I’m going to pay however-many-thousands of dollars to your pops, I’m not gonna iron my own shirt or make my own breakfast or sweep the rug or change any goddamned diapers.

If I’m paying lobola I’m paying for a wife. And a wife in the traditional sense, even though I won’t treat her the way the oldies did, but if I do the traditional, respectful thing as a husband, I expect my wife to respect me that way.

So here’s the big question, sisters. Do you think it’s right to expect a man to pay lobola for you, but wrong for him to expect wifely conduct from you?

If it’s going to be equal all the way, then I suggest scrapping the whole bride-price business, and go into it as equals, and see how that works for ya.

Cos the way some of y’all are talking, you ain’t gonna see the inside of a wedding chapel anytime soon, and if you do, you’re gonna be the type bitching about how your man was so sweet before marriage but turned into a monster after. Check yourself.

Now wash my goddamn underpenny!

I have asked this question, time and time again, and I still have no answer. Help me out here. Tell me …

… what does it take to become a ‘journalist’ at Zimpapers and ZBC News?

As a true-born son of the soil, and super-patriot to boot, I make it a point to watch the 8pm news when I can, and the first (online) paper I open is The Herald.

And it’s all bullshit.

MDC-T this, MDC-T that, MDC-T causes violence, MDC-T on rampage, MDC-T assaults public, MDC-T kills policeman, MDC-T are homosexuals, illegal sanctions have destroyed our economy, MDC-T puppets are poisoning puppies and deliberately warming the globe in order to facilitate illegal regime change under the sponsorship of their western masters.

Tsvangirai also hates Anglicans and ice-cream and puppies and rainbows and baby panda bears.

Do you really think we’re all THAT stupid?

Are you fucking serious?