Aint nothing going on but….

Wake upBeing this far away from the motherland has not significantly altered my M.O with men, namely, love ’em (read f**k ’em) and leave ’em. I know this makes me kind of a slut. Ok, no. That makes me a whole lot of slut, but feigning affection in order to get a little sum’in-sum’in smacks too much of hard work. And as for long-term, so called steady relationships, don’t even get me started.

So, I hooked up with a Frrenchman recently and he was a whole bag of sum’in-sum’in. And chips. With buffalo wings. Ne Koka Kora yacho pa side. He could do things with his tongue that I do declare are bordering on illegal, nay, are probably illegal in some bible-thumping states.

That aside, now M’sieur le Frenchie is refusing to be rambwa-ed. Bleating on about ‘ow ‘e lurrves me (said in that very sexy Thierry Henry/Arsene Wenger/ Robert Pires kinda way that is hard to resist – memories of Prince Tendai’s ‘I can’t resist your tempation’). And ‘ow ‘e wants to make me ‘is wife, and that I should carry ‘is babies (the age old barefoot and in the kitchen routine. or was that naked and in ‘la cuisine’? whatever).

Now. The problem arises in that:
a) I have all the maternal instincts of a gnat, never mind the fact that my womb is not for hire.
b) Like my girl Tina said, what’s love got to do with it?

If I give you your marching orders, what self respecting man sticks around to get more of a pounding on his ego as you force my hand to mete out further punishment (and not in some kind of S & M, I am wearing clear heels or black patent leather kind of way)? Pray tell me, once shown the scenic route, why would any one refuse to take it? Only our esteemed leader can get away with being red-carded and then refusing to walk.

13 Replies to “Aint nothing going on but….”

  1. How can he agree to be refused? You know all that lovin’ of yours is too much for a feeble frenchie, the guy is in a tight!

    Stop denying him his items, share my friend!

  2. afraid does not even begin to describe the wake-up-in-a-cold-sweat-I-think-I-am-drowning pervasive fear that I have for relationships. Too many good people in bad relationships out there, that is not the kind of statistic I want to be. Rather a life of my body being found half eaten by maggots six weeks after my death than being with the wrong person.

  3. gross, and tragic. so you don’t know for sure who the right person is, anyway, you’re just not willing to give others a chance

  4. a chance, yes. My one man one chance policy. Wasting my time with incompatible partners just to stave off loneliness, no. Like my one Maths teacher once said (before he proceeded to commit suicide) I am miserable enough on my own, why get someone else in on the act to double the misery?

  5. What exactly were the grounds for dismissal. Did he declare his love before or after having his ass shown the door? I am just wondering why dump the guy in the first pace if he is well gifted in the ‘giving some’ department. i mean a man with a talented toungue is surely worth putting up with. You dont come by them often. COMPROMISE??!! You sure it aint worth hanging in there until the next GOOD ride comes by if it aint already? You never know, guy may just be rappin to ya just to keep ya. He probably ain’t used to a woman who isn’t looking for commitment. Probably thought declaring love was the only way to keep you. You sure you wanna give up such talent.

  6. that is what gives rise to ventriloquists: intensive training on how to use your God given talents.

  7. if i wanted basic, I would stick to battery powered. my man, this is the big leagues, one must bring out the big guns.

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