The small house saga

by Posted on

It’s a classic age-old tale of love, lust and laughter, replayed over and over through the ages since time immemorial.

The man, the wife and the mistress, flung together via a confluence of forces variously known as Fate, Luck or Consequence.

It usually begins with the man apart from his wife, alone, and seeking out the comfort of another woman. All is fine at first; the mistress knows her situation and plays the blushing Ingenue to the cheating husband’s Cad.

She provides for him, she cares for him, she fecks his brains out, even plays marriage counsellor as required. For a while they are blissful in their sin, and the sun shines brighter than ever before.

She eventually decides to improve her standing in the relationship, and invariably confesses her undying love to the man of her dreams. He says he “cares for her”, and they carry on, but the tension rises as the mistress becomes increasingly demanding.

She demands he leave his wife, and promises they would be happy together forever. The clingier she becomes the more he withdraws, and eventually he pushes her away.

Stung by his callous indifference, she confronts him and asks the tough questions, and he plays it coy. They walk away from each other, seperate in their grief, both indignant and relieved, gutted and unflinching.

He returns to his wife, the love of his life, and settles back into the warm comforting routine of familiarity, forever yearning for the excitement of the mistress, bored in his happiness whilst being the perfect man.

She moves on, life’s lessons happily filed, searching for laughter, for someone who will say I Love You back, someone to fill the void left by what she thought was the answer to all her dreams.

This is the story of the small house. The characters may vary between male and female, fool and bastard, wife and husband. But the result is always the same.

Heartbreak.

Published by Joe Black

47 Replies to “The small house saga”

  1. on the subject of fcuking, what are some things that people would rather not hear while they are doing it and secondly, what are some of the moodkillers people have been subjected to?

  2. That is the old version. The new version – queue fancy ride, gold diggers, bacossi money and a room at the Meikles.

    That’s how shit plays out now. It’s not the honourable mistress thing anymore it’s young hoochies who want to be taken care of and small to medium dharas who can.

    It’s glorified prostitution. There are very few real small houses out there. I know a few situations where I would be happy for the dude to leave his wife for his chicky but those are few and far between. The hoochies of today would never want the oke to leave. that would cramp her style.

    BTW there are also toy boys and the classic big love scenario – the man with two or more wives: Fundira, Kadzura, Chiyangwa, Black

  3. Than the Cradle snatchers who don’t understand when the Snatchee feels too young for something more committed.

  5. People have been very quiet about the US election recently, is it fatigue from the constant media onslaught? Do you all still think that the sun shines out of the Obama ass or has he returned to mere mortal status?

  6. Oh no, I reckon it’s over. There’s no value in harping on about McPalin and their lie-a-day woes. Or even John McC’s bumbling and befuddlement on economic issues.

    It’s over. Barack wins.

  7. I’m with Joe man. Palin must be the biggest fuck up ever. Mind, there is still/and always will be middle America to worry about. I wonder how McC is doing though. I bet every time he gets a call, he expects it to be about another one of Palin’s screw ups.

    Besides, people are reeling here in the UK. Labour is falling apart and the outlook is grim. The country looks to be up for grabs at the next general election.

  8. As if Bobo Johnson wasn’t bad enough news for this year.

    Re: the Snatchee comment… that sounded too insightful to be hypothetical… care to share? 🙂

  10. Also Tara, you know what? Not being sexist, but Palin actually scares me more than Hillary did!

    Reading about her shenanigans back home in Alaska, her man’s apparent involvement in her job, all the shit done? And then I hear her speak?

    No wonder they won’t let the woman hold a press conference, because FrankenBarbie would sink them faster than an industrialist on the Titanic.

  11. I dont know, you are trying to reason for a population that gave the world Dubya. Twice. The world wants Obama but the world doesnt get a shout in. Can we re-christen it the Black House when he gets in?

  13. So the Sascos thought firing Mbeki was the end of it? Witness the Jhb Stock Exchange … Trevor Manuel resigned? DROP!

    As for you Ms J, splinter log eye handiti? Leave Tara alone.

  14. Wow, you’re rather defensive on behalf of Tara. I bet she ain’t half as prickly as you right are now. Besides, I wasn’t picking on her, I was just making conversation. Damn.

  15. Lol, my bad. Been wound up pretty tight today. I’ll explain sometime.

    So Russia sends spyplane over Georgia. Georgia shoots down said spyplane. Russia calls it a “provocation”. Are you smoking something?

  16. Back to your post JB… you talking abt the old small house..BD has got it on point.. heartbreak what heartbreak baba..

    And for some of us in development work pushing the kNeePad agenda it was sad not to hve Teebos Mbeki in New York. And Trevor will be reassigned on Thursday so no big story…
    Wonder what is Kgalame will take over the mediation in Zim.. he is a former Sec General of Cosatu jus like our Tsvagson.. interesting times

  17. I had this conversation in a couple different incantations whilst in Zim and I will repeat my surprise at how institutionalized the small house concept is. Elsewhere there’s cheating and lust and all that but nowhere as organized and legitimate as in Zim – as far as I know.

    And BD there are still “traditional” small houses, I’ve been to two different small houses in my short time in Zim- one in Epworth the other in Highfield. Imagine how awkward that shit is when my friends introduced me to their mistress (one was en route to his normal house).

    JB what brought this little piece to the forefront?

  19. Hey china that shit always leads to heartbreak… there’s no escaping it. It’s true it has been rather institutionalised here.

    Old days, the guy would marry all these ladies but now, with cost of living spiralling, kinda hard to purchase the first wife, let alone a soccer team of them. Even the maintenance of smallers’ is tight. Hmmm.

    And yes, this (like all my posts) is fuelled by my own experiences and feelings. No detail coming though, and please, easy on the speculation.

  20. They had the right idea back in the day. Polygamy. Only reason it didn’t stick was the blatant sexual bias. If both men and women could do it, things’d be interesting.

    And JB, thanks for your defence earlier. I hadn’t even realised that I should have taken offence in the first place.

    Ms J, I’m all over the Boris thing. When that happened, I knew that was the beginning of the end. Mind, the drama following his election has been amusing. Almost worth being stuck with his ass in office for four (or whatever) years.

    On the cradle snatching front, I aint a fool.

  21. Alias, never said it was dead but the model has been reinvented.

    Alias j’accuse – you cultural imperialist. The concept of a mistress is a very European thing. Look at France – no self respecting President would be without one.

  23. Ce n’est pas juste Monsieur Buffdaddy!!!

    Mistresses (and poolboys) are universal, I just think the European concept is reserved more for elites as opposed to plain old cheating which even the plebs can do.
    The small house concept fairly unique in that all strata of MALE society can enjoy the opportunity for a virtual 2nd wife, free from scorn or social condemnation.
    Tara is bang on with double standard of it all too.

    At an HIV/AIDS clinic in Marlborough I spoke to a Nun who told me that AIDS rates are dropping in Zimbabwe mostly because having a “small house” is becoming far too expensive…

  27. the nuns ran the clinic and were surprisingly in touch. Slightly altered my opinions towards “people of the cloth”.

    500? how is that even possible?

  28. Have any of you heard about the new movie from Oliver Stone, the guy who brought you JFK, its called “W” (Dubya)? I can’t wait for it to see it, its due out on October the 13th i think.Maybe someone will come out with a Zim version, “AraGee”!

  29. One truly wonders… She might’ve been a child of the small house, hence the total aversion to opposite sex relations, resulting in nunnery, and “fighting the cause” against HIV/AIDS.

    Tara, for real, the next four years look to be interesting at Boris’.

  30. In my final year at the Convent there was a nun called Sister Tendai. Got to the UZ 2 years later, to find her there. Not only married, but pregnant to boot. So a lot of these women have been around the block and they know what’s what. Any of the Saint George’s boys might remember the Sabeta children, they were the product of a nun’s coupling with a priest. So….

  31. £500 US, sheesh. That is rather cheap. 🙂

    On the Chinese front, you can’t blame the Chinese for selling tainted product. it is the fault of the purchaser for not checking it when they got it. Or at least that is what they are arguing. I love China man. This has so been their year. From the ‘too ugly to be seen in public’ little girl singer, to winning both the Olympics and the Paralympics. None of the smog or Tibet mud stuck. They frigging do whatever they like. They come third after Iran and North Korea in my book of ‘I should be terrified of them but they are so damn ballsy that you gotta admire/respect them’ book. Zimbabwe is tied with China in 3rd place! 🙂

  34. Shouldnt that read 10 countries MORE corrupt than Zim, coz if they were less corrupt they would be closer to the top of the table? Or am I failing to understand the queen’s language properly. So no one finds it worrying that Nigeria is considered to be less corrupt than Zim?

  36. Sort of back to the little house saga,

    Before marriage…..

    He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
    She: Do you want me to leave?
    He: No! Don’t even think about it.
    She: Do you love me?
    He: Of course! Over and over!
    She: Have you ever cheated on me?
    He: No! Why are you even asking?
    She: Will you kiss me?
    He: Every chance I get.
    She: Will you hit me?
    He: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
    She: Can I trust you?
    He: Yes.
    She: Darling!

    After marriage….
    Simply read from bottom to top.

  42. Sounds like the name of a dodgy Chinese restaurant. (Spring) roll on the Raughing Froor. That or the name of some Indian kid whose parents were high on peyote.

  45. Dhlaks, I thought one had to possess some wit to be able to recognise it or its evident lack thereof in others.

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