Cos I’m an asshole, that’s why

There’s a few things you people should learn, so prepare to be educated. Before you bring your computer (or modem, or tablet, or PVR, or phone) to me, to fix, for free, consider this.

1) It’s a big assumption, bringing your computer to my house on a Sunday evening, expecting me to help you with it. Call first – it may save you a trip.

2) The thing with asking for a favour, is that IT CAN BE DECLINED – when you ask for something, be as fully prepared for a no as you are for a yes. That puppy dog look won’t help you.

3) Think about it – what is the last thing a barber wants to see when he gets home from work, let alone on a Sunday evening when he’s chilling with his missus? A head of hair. Do I come over to your place asking you to balance my budget for free?

4) For free? You came to me because I’m a professional, right? That’s because I do it for the money. And you expect me to do it for free? That’s just insulting, isn’t it?

5) Just because I can, don’t mean I can. Get it? Not every computer guy has been trained in every tech on every platform. Did you RTFM* before you tried to install that modem? Cos if you didn’t, I’ll have to. Call THEM to fix it.

It’s like the doctor down the pub who told me that everytime someone hears what he does, they start telling him their problems and asking for a diagnosis. Offside.

Listen, I don’t care. I actually HATE computers and if you’re not paying me, why the feck do you think I should?

*RTFM – Read The fecking Manual