So, I managed to pull my finger out and got myself to Hong Kong for the rugby (the promise of firm male flesh on abundant display being the main draw) and as an eager student, I learned many things in my short stay on the island:
– sex paraphernalia should not be sold on street corners. it takes all the fun out of furtively walking behind some see-through curtain and guiltily trying not to eye the size of other customers purchases.
– it’s a pity chickens only have 2 wings. I cannot believe that science has failed to effectively market a 6- or 8-winged chicken for the food industry. K-K-K-K-K-K-FC anyone?
– my mind has been cleared of the notion that all Asian women put fashion ahead of comfort. thank you All Stars for penetrating the market.
– the person who said that money can’t buy you happiness clearly had no experience in a corporate stand at a major sports event.
– turns out that ‘it’s a small world after all’ is not just a childish, simplistic Scripture Union song. it definitely is a small small world.
– do not use words like ‘itinerant’ to describe yourself to people you’ve just met. they won’t thank you for it.
– Americans do in fact believe that there is a language called American. and apparently there is another one called Argentinian.
– your bladder is only as weak as how many people you have to brush up against to get to the bathroom.
– Cindy Lauper should have sung the less PC version ‘White people just wanna have fun’ because there are some seriously crazy white folk out there.
– DJ Forbes is the most delicious pair of thighs out there. and I have seen the Richie McCaw and Dan Carter version of events.
– forget love or money, alcohol is the lubricant that keeps the world turning. it’s why those Muslims are always so angry, sit down, relax, have a drink mate.
– being black should be considered a handicap when travelling in Asia. you do realise that I can see you standing there staring and pointing. at least monkeys in the zoo get peanuts and bananas thrown at them.
– packing light is a seemingly alien concept if the Japanese airport security staff’s incredulity at my solitary backpack is anything to go by.
– home is where I lay my be-weaved head, just as long as there is a computer and internet access.
– people will laugh at anything, you just have to say it right.
– jungle fever produces some seriously good-looking offspring.
– Zimbabweans are floaters, there’s no keeping them down no matter the pressure.
– they say a fool is born every minute. a conman every 30 seconds. so there is a lot of money parting ways.
– 3 days is not as long as it seems when you have 46 games to cover.
– the Hong Kong Chinese are more interested in saving the planet than their Japanese counterparts. at 50c a plastic bag there is no horror on their faces when you refuse one, instead often quipping ‘yes, planet long life!’
– the sexual revolution might have happened but it’s still too easy for women to be labelled sluts for committing the heinously unpardonable sin of enjoying sex.
– tree trunk thighs + little shorts + 46 games a very satisfied Eleanor makes. although it must be noted that I am also easily pleased.
– English must rank as the most mangleworthy language on the planet. anyone for some ‘fragrant prick meat’?
I didn’t get to do much touristy stuff. but photos will follow shortly.
Update: Photos, anyone?