To All My Female Friends

Today is that day when worms emerge from the wood work, people that
havent beeen seen or heard in ages, ressurect, smiling, fluttering
eyelids like the wings of a butterfly, rather, moth, trynna make nice so
you get a nigg@z shit.

Dont even try it. Handidi. You aint getting ten cents!

To all my boys, rambai!

When the roses have wilted, she’ll have the expensive perfume, the
fluffy red towel, the silk nightie, ko iwe? Your reward, an orgasm, or
maybe even a hug, inenge yapera kudhara…just a memory! Hardly
a fair exchange.

And members of N.A.V.D, please be warned. Through our contacts at the RBZ, we shall be monitoring activities on all members’ bank accounts for any
suspicious and sudden large withdrawals. Abatwa achitengera vasikana
machokoleti
, cell phones, eya-time, Hunters, Sting, Archers, mabhurugwa
matsvuku
etc, tirikuzonetsana. N.A.V.D. officials have been stationed at
various Valentine’s spending hotspots, such as Cliques, Belz (kumaruva),
Wimby and Bhabhaz. We mean business gentlemen.

As Chairman, I shall do my bit, in leading the war. Tunzenza
turikufamba tuchizunza magaro
, wearing the revolting colours of red and
white, ndichatu splasher madhaka nemota! KaCupid kacho, the cause of
all this, ndikakaona ndichakaisa mudonzvo up the rectum!

Your Chairman has spoken.

Chairman N.A.V.D

Nigg@z Against Valentine’s Day

31 Replies to “To All My Female Friends”

  1. To all the single girls out there, make it a GANAS* day. No matter what he is like. See it is charity, giving back to society. And who knows, you might get lucky.

    *Give A Nigga A Smile

  2. This is some funny shit, and the way the city is muddy I pity the chicks in red when Chairman meets them!

    Gala don’t be bitter cos I forgot to post that other nyaya…we’ll just rewrite it and use it anyway.

    Get any roses and stuff?

  3. Do I sound like someone who got roses and stuff? Besides, imagine those guys who get a smile from me. I may make their day and get brownie points with Cupid and Aphrodite. God knows I need them.

  4. lol @ Wellington’s. I’m doing the whole thing this year taking him to a posh dinner and concert, but weather is TERRIBLE!!

  5. Oh, Black, you also made my day with that gorgeous smile. The sucker is so endearing.

    Lisa, about the weather, I hear that. Pissing like cats and dogs here. Talk about kicking a girl while she is down. BUT!!! The night is still young. As they say, YOU NEVER KNOW!!! 🙂

  6. Trevor aka Squire, plaigiarism is a crime. the least you could have done after you copied this wholesale was to at least acknowledge your source. My lawyers will be getting in touch!

  7. Iwe Aefro, the reason we use aliases is for the element of deceit. U seem to have missed that minor detail……..and as for the article, ask the administrator at Rustygate how it all happened. But it seems NAVD has quite a following

  8. NAVD has a huge following dude, but I stillI can’t believe how many ppl snt thyr Valz msgs on SMS!

    Zvapressa in Zim. Anyway, I omitted one little sentence in the post, no biggie.

  9. Oh!!! I am willing to bet ten quid that Squire is single. I want to know how many of the NAVDs are in a loving relationship. And how did your sister like what you had set up for her big day of the year?

  10. Your website is a brilliant one, but the contents are disappointing. You could actually get somewhere or rather reach a purposeful destiny if you started getting serious, just plain realistic.
    You have talent ,if you tried to be intentionally without too much effort , you will find yourselves in places others only dream of. Maybe you are saying, I have other serious topics websites, so why waste time and resources. I personally intentionally dont spent time on stuff I dont think is taking me anywhere. Whatever the topics let them be not just fooling around….” I have a dream…..” Am sure you have one too!!

  11. Ehm, you’re sounding a bit too serious there yourself, Lee 🙂

    Thanks for the comments, always appreciated. Actually, this is about as serious as we get!

  12. First and foremost the reason I am commenting is because a pal of you people updated me of your responses otherwise you may actually might have never heard from me, as I intentionally mostly try and use my time wisely. However once in a blue moon when I am not snowed under with more purposeful issues I fool around to relax and be considerate for others that is especially family and friends.
    So JB I still challenge you to do some topics that cater for the likes of us if you care to have us visit ever so often.
    Tino believe it or not, life is too short and have more than enough better things to do, and when I am sane I try to maximise.
    As for Aefro Chique no serious comment just we are what we do in every way. Dude? Who says I am male or female? Assumptions asumptions.
    JB, there are more exciting exhilerating phrases than ” spit it out”, I personally find it tacky, honestly it made me gringe.
    Time, Life, Money, Purpose, Intention, Legacy………….

  13. I concur, can’t we all live together. Lee I’m sure your points have been well noted. I’m sure there are a few Bloggs around (with lots of purpose and such-like banter) that you would be quite comfortable with. I ask again, Can’t we all live together?…. JB, me-thinks its time for a new Post my China.

  14. *sigh*, where to start?

    As I said in my first reply to Lee, comments are always welcome here, and anyone’s opinion is valued equally.

    Having said that, I have to tell you Lee, most of my topics cater for the likes of ME. I try to be as inclusive and well-rounded as possible, but the fact of the matter is we generally encourage people to write their own stories if they have something they want said.

    And when I say “spit it out”, I’m not trying to be exhilarating, I write the way I speak, so it’s basically the way I’d say it to you in real life.

    Sorry to make you “gringe”. I promise this is the first time I’ve made anyone “gringe” since my life 🙂

    To top it all off, thanks Lee for making things a bit livelier around here. You’re always welcome, hehe

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