Mating habits of the drunken monkey

First of all, dude, I don’t know you. I don’t remember your name since my mate introduced us three hours ago. I don’t need it.

I didn’t know she was your girl. I wouldn’t have cared either way. It’s a nightclub. There’s dancing. So I’m dancing. And she’s dancing back. She seems to like it. In fact, now that I have my hand on her ass, she’s enjoying it even more.

So don’t give me shit just cos I have a handle on your girl. You need to get a handle on your girl. Don’t make your problems mine.

Cos I can tell, and she can tell, and you can tell, that she wants to go home with me tonight.

Not you.

69 Comments

  • Galadriel

    4 November, 2007 at 17:12 pm

    I see Black has been out on the town again. And is still to get his head around keeping a low profile. Let me guess, you dont go around looking for trouble, troble always seems to seek you out.

  • MAXIMUS

    4 November, 2007 at 17:17 pm

    Forry Unko. u’ll get them next time…

  • Eleanor

    4 November, 2007 at 18:23 pm

    And in the red corner, we have JB weighing in at 100 pounds, about to get his nose bloodied, his ass kicked, and his manhood stripped, but he is still going in anyway. That you continue to live to tell the tale is a sure sign that the gods have not forsaken you, Jesus would have wished to be in your shoes.

  • Joe Black

    5 November, 2007 at 06:56 am

    Seriously though, if you can’t handle your own woman, please please don’t bring ger out in public. Surely it’s one of the Golden Rules?

    Anyway, I’m a lov … oh what the hell, I just like OPP.

  • MrCheeks

    5 November, 2007 at 09:01 am

    r kells – i’ma flirt soon as a honey walks up in tha club I’ma flirt

  • Tino

    5 November, 2007 at 09:12 am

    We are misbehaving again I see. So where is the rest of the story? Did u take the hoochie with? Were you pulverised? Conclusion?

  • Eleanor

    5 November, 2007 at 09:31 am

    Stab in the dark (LOL): JB didnt hit it.

  • Joe Black

    5 November, 2007 at 09:36 am

    No, she then fucked off with her friends. So like Liverpool, it was a goalless draw!

  • Galadriel

    5 November, 2007 at 11:54 am

    Let this be a warning to all you skivers out there.

    BOSS said to an employee: “Do you believe in life after Death?

    EMPLOYEE : “Certainly not! There’s no proof of it,” he replied.

    BOSS : “Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral, he came here looking for you.!”

  • The Squire

    5 November, 2007 at 12:52 pm

    JB – glad to see u r making the most of your time in the Falls. Do u still use that move of yours on the dancefloor?

  • Joe Black

    5 November, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    No bra, THAT move has been long abandoned (altho’ I will not be responsible if it’s pulled out again one day).

    I’ve learnt some new tricks and they seem to be working

  • Eleanor

    5 November, 2007 at 13:31 pm

    Well, those purported skills might need a bit more refining, coz bra, you are still going home alone.

  • Joe Black

    5 November, 2007 at 13:52 pm

    By choice …

  • Eleanor

    5 November, 2007 at 13:56 pm

    One finds oneself rolling around on the floor in uncontrolled mirth.

  • Galadriel

    5 November, 2007 at 14:01 pm

    LOL!!

  • Joe Black

    5 November, 2007 at 14:05 pm

    You people are not funny.

  • MAXIMUS

    5 November, 2007 at 14:40 pm

    Me lm on your side ekse, no matter what the “others” say. By the way, London, the bird is in the cage, l repeat, the bird is in the cage.

  • Joe Black

    5 November, 2007 at 14:58 pm

    Roger that Nighthawk, transmit message now, over.

  • player

    5 November, 2007 at 14:59 pm

    Blacks dont expect evryone to be funny yet u always make stupid remarks of yourself…

  • Joe Black

    5 November, 2007 at 15:05 pm

    player: I wasn’t expecting them to be funny. I was chastising them for finding humour in my (self-confessed) lack of … inter-play 😉

  • Galadriel

    5 November, 2007 at 15:07 pm

    Lady of the forest to Tino and Elle. There appears to be a very covert and rude operation taking place here. I recommend an all out assault from all directions. Currently on standby awaiting instruction. Please advice. Over.

  • MrCheeks

    5 November, 2007 at 15:09 pm

    allo allo! oooooh rrrrrrrene, touch me ha ha ha ha ha

  • Galadriel

    5 November, 2007 at 15:13 pm

    Player, your initials wouldn’t happen to be AR now, would they?

  • Galadriel

    5 November, 2007 at 15:25 pm

    MrCheeks – UHH??!!

  • Joe Black

    5 November, 2007 at 15:33 pm

    Gosh Galadriel, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten ‘Allo ‘allo?!?!?

    Have you discarded your *entire* childhood?

  • Galadriel

    5 November, 2007 at 16:04 pm

    Man, don’t get me started. i had one of thise mothers who thought TV was evil and rejoiced when the one we had died. Didn’t get to watch TV until I got to high school.

  • MrCheeks

    5 November, 2007 at 16:39 pm
  • Eleanor

    5 November, 2007 at 17:57 pm

    Did I miss something or maybe the ironic tone went over my head, but how did we get to this remark ‘Blacks dont expect evryone to be funny yet u always make stupid remarks of yourself… ‘?

  • Joe Black

    6 November, 2007 at 07:31 am

    Herr Flick of the Geshhhtapo was the man! With his loving Helga.

    Dunno Elle, ndinenge ndatukwa…

  • player

    6 November, 2007 at 11:17 am

    I will never tire of mocking the insane idiots who post comments at RustyGate. The way to win a debate is not through name-calling and ranting. And so I hesitated ever-so-briefly about whether to call these people “insane idiots.”? Then I realized am talking of people who, apparently in all seriousness, advocate the illegal BLACK (S) Market, Oops!!!!!!. I cannot think of any other way of describing someone who believes that. I think “insane idiot”? may actually be the clinical, legal term for such a person. So while it’s generally unfair to dismiss a point of view with rude language and condescension, I did not feel those rules applied here.

  • Joe Black

    6 November, 2007 at 11:28 am

    Does anyone understand what the fuck player is talking about?

  • Eleanor

    6 November, 2007 at 11:41 am

    JB, your past is coming back to haunt you, maybe it’s the own from the club who you were OPP-ing. Wotoenda kunana Tobaiwa Mudede unoripa kumidzimu, coz there is some seriously bad karma generating from Player. But whatever drug Player is on, I need a hit of that.

  • player

    6 November, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    Mr Black Its so obvious how people would respond…my real motive will be to win a useless argument. Or pull down those who think are superior than others……

  • Tino

    6 November, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    Sure I am also lost in the wilderness. Please start from the beginning and tell us your story player.

  • Galadriel

    6 November, 2007 at 12:50 pm

    Player, dude, what is your angle? Where are you coming from here? I for one am missing something. Or rather, a shed load. For starters, you a friend or foe? How is it that you came to be posting on this here blog? And explain to me as if I were a three year old what you are talking about? Please forgive me if I sound antagonistic as that is not my intention. I just want to know what has all hot an bothered. That way, I can defend myself if I am indeed one of those people you be referring to as insane and idiotic. Que pasa?

  • Joe Black

    6 November, 2007 at 13:42 pm

    Hehe…

  • Eleanor

    6 November, 2007 at 13:50 pm

    I think Player is definitely a foe. And he is growing a whole forest on his shoulder.

  • Galadriel

    6 November, 2007 at 13:51 pm

    Joe, please, I am being serious here. Let the guy have his say. Player, ignore him for now. Talk to us.

  • Joe Black

    6 November, 2007 at 14:09 pm

    Why are we assuming it’s a guy?

  • Eleanor

    6 November, 2007 at 14:20 pm

    A woman would call herself slut or hoe, not Player. And no woman is going to willingly carry that title.

  • Galadriel

    6 November, 2007 at 14:20 pm

    I would be hard pressed to find a girl who would call herself player, wouldn’t you. Mind, I could be wrong, in which case I would say I meant guy in a unisex kinda way. And the *his* was just a typo? Oh come on, that is SO such a boy. My question is what ethnic background is he?

  • player

    6 November, 2007 at 14:42 pm

    My Goodness………………….

  • Eleanor

    6 November, 2007 at 14:52 pm

    Dude, for someone who seems to hold the rest of us mere mortals in such high contempt, you spend a lot of time on this site. Put up or shut up bra, coz you are killing the vibe here. Go roll a joint or something, I would recommend http://www.ft.com for your highbrow to feel validated.

  • Joe Black

    6 November, 2007 at 14:56 pm

    Hey Elle, player’s got as much right as anyone else to be as highbrow as he/she wants to be :-).

    We’re still waiting for your story player. Or have the girls scared you shitless? …

  • Anonymous

    6 November, 2007 at 15:27 pm

    you girls are pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! let the brother speak

  • player

    6 November, 2007 at 15:33 pm

    Eleanor am so disapointed at you never thought u cud be so immature to make such silly croaking sounds…U wanna see how real Player can be? am offering free waxing free service….My idea was or is to give people a vibrant public firestorm……

  • Anonymous

    6 November, 2007 at 15:34 pm

    taura hako Player

  • Eleanor

    6 November, 2007 at 15:43 pm

    Player, I would humour you, but that would be tantamount to mental masturbation as it would definitely be a solo act, your lack of humour being glaringly blatant. As for you anonymous, that rock that you crawled out from is calling for the return of your insignificance.

    This is the point where JB would probably jump in to tell everyone to play nice, and for me not to club any more baby seals. So I am stepping out. To have a beer, roll a joint, wank, and join the rest of my loser clan, in no specific order.

  • Joe Black

    6 November, 2007 at 15:49 pm

    Fight away, I won’t stop you children. In fact, it’s mildly entertaining.

  • player

    6 November, 2007 at 16:07 pm

    Excuses excuses Eleanor. If you know your “pretty decent” then my comment shouldn’t have bothered you…..or maybe you realize that you say all this shyt because its easier to appeal to the 99% of awful players out there, instead of the top 1% of players.

  • Anonymous

    6 November, 2007 at 17:06 pm

    If I was so “insignificant” then how come you are still moved by my existence. It just goes to show that you Eleanor are just paranoid and not so “decent”. Go ahead have a beer, roll a joint, wank and do join the rest of your most definately LOSER clan in THAT specific order

  • Alias

    6 November, 2007 at 18:31 pm

    I want to join the internet bickering too but I can’t quite figure out what the argument is all about.

    Where’s the beef?

  • Galadriel

    6 November, 2007 at 18:57 pm

    Thank you ALIAS. This is becoming frustrating. like squeezing blood from a rock. What exactly got Player worked up. Joe, dont you dare change the post until we get to the bottom of this. People are holding back from us. We are being called names when we don’t realise it. I am finding all this entertaining but I don’t know whether I should really be taking offence. Someone, please, put me out of my misery. Should I remain neutral or should I take Elle’s aggressively defensive approach?

  • Alias

    6 November, 2007 at 19:04 pm

    I’m hanging on to an awesome zinger because I don’t know who to strike at.

    HELP!!!

    Player insult my intelligence! Eleanor tell me that me that my existence is a fart in the wind! Joe for God’s sake hit on my girlfriend already!

  • Galadriel

    6 November, 2007 at 19:22 pm

    Alias, at least a fart in the wind has a chance of being an annoyance for some poor soul. You make an impact to someone, granted not a positive one, but an impact none the less. That’s something right?! Count yourself lucky. 🙂

  • Galadriel

    6 November, 2007 at 19:33 pm

    Besides, with Elle, you know that she doesn’t not like you and why. And I doubt it is personal. She is a self confessed cynic. Player, on the other hand, is being coy verging on down right rude.

  • Joe Black

    6 November, 2007 at 20:03 pm

    Okay seriously now, player, what’s your beef?

  • Galadriel

    6 November, 2007 at 20:51 pm

    JB, you sure it ain’t some woman scorned on an awkwardly strategised rampage. I wouldn’t put it past you have one of those in your 28 year old wake. LOL. 😉 Maybe this is all overflow from the last post. Or, like when i first latched on, he be responding to past posts. I just don’t get why he doesn’t just come out and explicitly describe what it is that warranted all the comments. IT Aint the name calling that is beginning to piss me off. It is that I dont know what i have done. LORD!!!

  • Alias

    6 November, 2007 at 21:10 pm

    oh and lost in this enigma is the fact that this was a top post- had me laughing my ass off.

  • Galadriel

    6 November, 2007 at 23:04 pm

    Hey JB? You watching? 5-0 (so far). You must be having an orgasm, actually having multipe orgasms. Good on you and Liverpool.

  • Joe Black

    7 November, 2007 at 07:59 am

    EIGHT NIL BITCHES!!!! WHAT!!!

    SAY SOMETHING NOW!!!!

  • Tino

    7 November, 2007 at 08:48 am

    Now we’re bitches.

  • player

    7 November, 2007 at 09:50 am

    It’s been maddening, to say the least, to see the plausibility of events that am witnessing questioned by fucking haters who are eagier to know my sex and of course my beef.
    Apparently am so reluctant to take the time out of my already insane schedule fighting an actual war in order to play some role in an ideological battle that I never wanted to join.
    I will let everyone here to fucken screw me for the savaging to begin… inonzi 8 kuwa Nya for Real…….

  • Joe Black

    7 November, 2007 at 13:37 pm

    Okay player, behave or leave. Now you’re just being offensive without reason.

  • player

    7 November, 2007 at 14:04 pm

    JB, If you feel am being too offensive for nothing then i might consider leaving but also bear in mind that sometimes its worth it to spark controversy….See how many people Hollering a damn record of 64….Sorry Fellaz am out……..

  • Joe Black

    7 November, 2007 at 14:13 pm

    LOL! A firestarter! I love it 😀

  • Eleanor

    7 November, 2007 at 15:04 pm

    A little independent research would reveal that the record is in fact 117 postings dating from June 12 2007, for a minor post entitled ‘So many Christmases’. Firestarter? Douche bag.

  • Joe Black

    7 November, 2007 at 15:14 pm

    Lol

  • player

    7 November, 2007 at 15:27 pm

    Beautiful girl Won’t you be my inspiration?