Back with (not even the slightest hint of) a bang

Blind dates - hazardousAh, the simple life. I admit I’ve been rather apprehensive regarding my new-found status as a single man in Harare. Being with one person so long, and never having to go through all that bullshit, has led me to view the ‘scene’ with some trepidation.

It’s kinda funny how the old habits return though. Like the roving eye – I’ve suddenly started noticing shit. How that chick at Mannenberg could easily carry a tray on her ass if she wished. Or how your friend’s cousin is actually rather cute when the light hits her Just So.

You also start noticing how hot your female friends are. But you know you can’t go there, cos I’ve been there, and There. Be. Dragons.

Really though, the dating scene just seems kinda blaze to me now. What do you do, where do you go? Call every restaurant in town to find out if they’re serving any food, THEN ask her to dinner? Or hang out with your female friends and hope for …uhm… residue? (I know Mel, so wrong!)

Okay, you know what? I really can’t be arsed right now. There’s cricket on, the Rugby World Cup starts in a coupla weeks and I really don’t want to be fielding midnight phone-calls for a while.

Besides, we’ve always got Tipperary’s. And Keg waitresses.

Disclaimer: Yes, I know I’m not over it, but if you knew how I felt … ahem. Anyway. Move along, there’s nothing to see here…

36 Replies to “Back with (not even the slightest hint of) a bang”

  1. Well you know the age old adage about getting back on the horse quick smart. JB shall ride that pony again. Tally Ho John Silver!

  2. Tino, you are looking to be charged under Posa for such maligning and casting aspersions on JB’s impeccable and unimpeachable character, do you not know that JB is an upstanding and emminent citizen, one of Zim’s finest. Hoes yes, waitresses, no.

  3. “Besides, we’ve always got Tipperary’s. And Keg waitresses.”

    Tino, that was so easy and obvious, I’m surprised even you would take that shot 🙂

    aChic – LOL, I’ll stoop to hoes but never to waitrons? Haha

    Yigga don’t worry, it was expected

  4. What is “Tipperary’s”? I get thwe impression it has something to do with hoes though cant gauge if we talking in a String fellows kinda way kind of way (strippers) or a Madame Loru kinda way (brothel). Enlighten me!

  5. so JoeBlack, do you need help in changing your status from single to: IN A RELATIONSHIP.

    I have someone already and i am sure you guys will get along!!

  6. Pimp me yigga, pimp me out to all them chicks! LOL

    Gala, the Irish Pub is simply a gathering spot for men to chat, have a drink, listen to some good music and … well … if you’re into that sort of thing … meeting “women”.

  7. I think that should read …’meeting’ women. Coz we know the meeting is not really the crux of the matter.

  8. Haha yigga, oh no thanks for that one bro. I’m trying to slow down, not speed my shit up…

    aChic, we could discuss it this way and that, the final destination is always the same. Sort of like their lives, I guess.

  9. You know there was no insult there, I was jest repeating what you said.

    When are they finally closing that place down?

  10. I know the dating scene in Htown is bad, the only place we gals can meet guys is either work or soccer bars.

  11. I know chick. But they’ll never close Tippas down, this whole city will go to shit before Tip’s closes lol.

    To bubbles, I don’t think you can complain about that anymore, since “socer” bars are finished now.

    They’re just bars, and of course that’s where all us eligibles will be hanging out … hoping to meet women.

  12. Oh HELL NAH! Keg waitresses…Tip’s, bra, what the heck? I know its slim pickings and all, but to resort to that…..siss man!

    Hello! There is a ratio of 8 women for every man in the sunshine city. Stop wallowing, get off your ass and we’ll see you out 2nite at “that” spot yigga was talking bout on FB.

    Keg waitresses…*shudder shudder*

  13. Iiiii my friend, that is a path you dont want to be frog marched onto, Pimped Out Street. No amount of alcohol or lighting can excuse the dangers that await down that oh so treacherous of paths. Dragons! Child’s play my friend, child’s play.

  14. Surreal is: having to explain the concept of a baby mama and baby daddy to your white boss. It was just hysterical, ten minutes I spent explaining the intricacies.

  15. Whip huh…is that something you like? Judging by the S&M picture for this blog post, i would say i’ve hit the nail on the head.

    Yigga, we need chicks who arent afraid to get strapped into some PVC leather for our good friend here, hehehehe.

  16. ‘a lady in public and a freak in the bed’ I do believe the rap/hip hop adage goes. They dont call it a truism coz it aint true.

  17. LOLOLOL

    Tino that man of yours needs to do something. Surely you’re not among the uninitiated?

    Vim, I feel a guest post coming on … about bondage experiences 🙂

  18. I see Zim got whacked again in the cricket on Saturday. Shaa SA made zim look pedestrian vamwe varikukwira ma Maybach. I mean seriously, when are we going to get back those halcyon days when we werent everybody’s whipping boys. Come on, even Bangladesh doesnt even fear us anymore.

  19. too little too late. the record will still show that Zim lost. Although I was very impressed with Taibu’s century. Now if he can just find one or two other people to put together meaningful partnerships with him. Because other people’s run rate is far too slow. and they wickets fall cheaply.

  20. I see that they have decided to put that Curran own out to pasture. Gees. like it took them long enough.

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