Dusting down the cobwebs
One of the drawbacks I’ve suffered in the recent past as a direct result of moving to this country is the freefall of my social life into a dismal abyss. In real terms, what this means is that when any excuse for mafaro comes along, I grab it with both hands and doggedly hang on for dear life, oblivious to any nascent disappointment.
An acquaintance of mine had a party this weekend. So a sister decided to invest in some glad rags and bring the dancing shoes out of their forced retirement. (I think they are actually going to be retrenched soon, they seem to be superfluous to demands). The big day dawned bright and clear, and all preparations were deemed to be satisfactory, not to toot my own horn, but my sh** was together and definitely on point!
This party was supposed to start at 7pm. Fair enough you give natives some leeway, punctuality never having been one of our strongest suits. 8pm rolls by. Only women are in attendance. 9pm, and I’m starting to get a bit pensive about the lack of any male showing. 10pm, and a certain panic has set in. By 11pm, I’m in a state of hysterical agitation as no persons of the opposite sex have put in a showing.
To exacerbate the pitiful state of affairs, there was not even a drop of any alcoholic or intoxicating substances to dull the edge of such a slump. Celibacy, I can handle. Sobriety might take a bit more work, but that I can handle that too. But to have both unilaterally imposed upon me, that I unfortunately cannot take in my stride. I can be both sober and sexually frustrated at home; no need to leave my house for that cruel and painful death throe.
Jean-Paul Sartre summed it up best when he said that hell is other people. So, now I’m waiting for Christmas. To get me some of that Christmas cheer. I’ve got a week in which to perpetrate some form of evil.
I do believe that Santa likes bad girls, he sits them on his lap and asks them: ‘Do you want Santa to come down your chimney’? Wink! wink! Merry Christmas folk!
15 Replies to “Dusting down the cobwebs”
Uhm chic, can I assume these cobwebs were located, uhm, in your chimney? Because if so, I assume dusting them down would involve, uhm, well, uhm, double-clicking your own mouse, so to speak? ,-)
Sorry, couldnt resist…did your friend actually invite any dudes? And the big question – is she hot?
Those spiders been spinning dem webs for almost 2 years now, dey been busy. A nice young chimney sweep would not be amiss!!
She a’ite, but she got a man.
2 Years, damn. I think there is more than cobwebs up there now. As for Santa going down the chimney, he doesn’t do that in Africa he goes through the back door ;-O
As long as Santa’s coming!! And as for the cobwebs, as long as it’s nothing fishy, I think we’ll be alright. 🙂
Sister come home, snow & gay-gansters are not working for you. At least here you are assured of a little something every once in a while & as for Father Christmas bah, he comes once a year. The GB is resident on your property for your regular convenience and leisure. If that fails there is always the 65 year old in a stetson hat & eckho sweater to tickle your fancy
Home is best
Ana ksss kssss vemu road. How I miss that! The hwindi telling you that he could get a leg over and roger you for all you were worth. The GB biggering himself that he could convert you from b eing a lesbian. Man, dem days!!!
It seems you lived the life back in the day in zim……….
If I had been a record, I would have been topping the charts on Hitsville, exe!!!
….and i was at a party that was totally lacking females…
That’s life for you tigz, we were both in the wrong place at the right time. Next time, we’ll organise a body swap or something.
why cant females just go out more often without always having to wait for a guy to take you somewhere. That would solve this problem that Tigz had, which is a problem 90% of the young eligible bachelors have.
Aiwaka, handiti ndimi munovajaidza? You see the likes of ana Ellena mubhawa at the keg 3 weekends in a row, and you are already starting to decry her actions in the most derogatory terms possible. And this whole Zimbabwean thing of women having to have a man in tow to feel vindicated.
I went out the other night with a bunch of chickens and some mates, and we were buying drinks the whole night. Come leaving time, one of the chickens opens her purse to pay for the cab, and she had to bricks in there. 2 millions of dollars!
That sucks, man
I feel you Joe… thats why you shld always buy me beers.
Taura hako blaz
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