Happy Whoreliday!

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Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Florists and gift shops and Innscor and retailers everywhere are singing and dancing and jumping in glee.

Now that the Prostitutes’ Christmas is upon us, let’s all take a moment to reflect on what exactly Valentine’s Day really means to all of us.

Whether you’re a married woman, a single girl, a small house or a whore, some ladies seem to believe this day is when the men in their lives are meant to pay up and show appreciation for whatever shit they’ve had to endure all year.

I call bullshit. I see this day as a chance for ALL of us to reject the blatant consumerism that’s come to be associated with the so-called day of love. I don’t have to buy you flowers or a card or a ring or a gift for you to know that I love you.

Indeed, if my lady is waiting for flowers on Valentine’s Day so she knows that I love her, then I’ve failed as a man. That is all.

On another note, single ladies, chances are you’re getting asked out right about now – say yes. And when the date ends, and it’s right about that time when he’s asking for it, say yes.

Say yes to the sex.

I mean, what is wrong with girls? They think that by making men wait, they’ll weed out the bad ones. Not true.

The good ones want to sleep with you right away, too. That doesn’t mean we won’t commit. It actually means you have more of a chance of us committing if you play your cards right.

So don’t be scared, single girls. Give it up. It is, after all, the holiday of love.

Get your slut on.

Published by Joe Black

20 Replies to “Happy Whoreliday!”

  1. I don’t know what to be mortified by and simultaneously laugh at. The “Give it up” plea to single girls or the message to those wifed up/in relationships to chill on their expectations on what to receive. Im not a big V day person (I’m rather nostalgic and miss the good ol days when I was young and dumb)so the expensive dinners, flowers etc don’t bring me as much joy. However what does bring me joy is acknowledgement and attention from the man. I agree if he is doing what he is meant to be doing 364 DAYS A YEAR then if he is a bit lax on the 14th he can get a pass. Happy Whoreliday Joe may you be gifted abundantly!

  2. PLUS it’s a leap year … let’s see if all those Valentinas go with the “tradition” and spoil their men this year.

    Or if it’s a case of following “tradition” when it suits you.

    Whose bloody tradition anyway? Nxa!

  6. oh, and on the waiting thingy,
    its just creating a fake scarcity,
    forging a demand where none exists,
    slight of hand,
    a coital illusion if you will,
    thus raising the price – in time, energy and monetary resources,
    you will allocate to obtaining and (delusionally exclusively) retaining her vagina …

    still,
    whether you get instant rewards,
    behind that tree in Baines Avenue,
    with a swift handover of your $20,
    or,
    you get infrequent she-regulated rewards,
    with your regular princely payments in dates, outings, gifts and valentines’ whatnots,
    or,
    no rewards,
    with hefty school fees, mortgages, vehicle finances and whatnots – i.e marriage – and divorce,
    regardless which option you favour,
    its all still a business transaction.

  12. Tara! In the world of awesome there is no need for faking,For the right amount, the screaming is a reality even she is screaming ooohhhh yes, that looks good for my wallet! Men like awesome could never even contemplate a woman would fake even if she is the professional type – he gets the job done everytime thats why he is awesome!.

  13. oh sweet Tara,
    come,
    come let me fan that little flame in your loins,
    come,
    let me whip it up into an intense blazing inferno,
    roaring!

    you too anon 🙂 (if you’re female …)

  16. Ko Awesome – why the sexism? Let’s spread the love around! What is gender but a minor distraction-I’m sure your awesomeness transcends all that nonsense. On a separate note-miss Tara seems efficient enough that she don’t need a man, just a good supply of every ready batteries!

  17. oooooooooooohhhhh! NOW, its getting ugly! 🙂

    alas, on the hetero-gay scale i lean hopelessly to the left 🙁

    eish, but sweet tara better come back strong and ‘energized’ on this one … !!!

  20. ohhh my apologies Ms Tara! I wasnt given the memo by sarkozy that mademoiselle was out! I should have known though-ladies like you must be ms.

    Awesome no worries! I understand -a mans got to do what a mans got to do…to each his own or rather in your case to each his many since you like to spread the awesomeness around.

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