I love the bush!

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Woke up on Saturday morning sporting the nastiest hangover in a week (heh), but She decided to bundle me into her car anyway.

I didn’t know where we were going, but I had my Red Label, a few tonics and a glass, so I didn’t mind being kidnapped. But imagine my shock and horror when she started zooting down the highway! Woman! There’s rugby! On telly! Then Zimbabwe Women! Help! Help!

She eventually turned off after Selous, swung left into the bush and next thing I knew were at Chengeta Safari Lodge! So there I was, standing in a game park with a blinding headache and a drink in my hand. Beached. Whale.

The first thing that hits you is the quiet. There are no TVs in the rooms, there’s no cellphone signal, nothing. It’s complete silence, and you can hear every wilderbeest turd hit the ground.

Like when this fecking lion was bellowing through the night, sounding like it was right on our varandah, scaring us shitless and keeping me up till dawn. The thing across the car park behind a high fence (we only found this out the next day) but I haven’t been that scared since … well, never.

Incidentally, when you’re driving through the bush in an open game viewing truck, and it’s thick and brown on either side, don’t start talking about The Ghost and the Darkness. Just saying.

From the lunch on arrival, the private game drive, sundowners under the fig tree, chilling in the trophy room, horse riding in the morning … I had a great old time.

Although I managed to stay on my horse for all of 3 minutes, having had an awful running tum since the day before, the whole experience was awesome, and I’m definitely going back.

The worst part? Driving back to Harare, with all the noise and cars and shit drivers and NOISE!

Published by Joe Black

33 Replies to “I love the bush!”

  2. Really though, Tara. This was after quite a large breakfast too, with yoghurt then eggs and bacon and sausage and beans. I was famished.

    But the moment I climbed up on Summer’s back and walked him a few meters, my world went topsy-turvy! LOL!

  4. Ehm, wimp? I don’t think throwing up from horseback makes good photies! Also, wouldn’t want the thing bolting through a herd if wildebeest or something!

  7. the best part is fig tree with the sun setting to your right and moon on the left or is it the other way. guess it depends on which way you are facing

  11. Apologies. This is Anonymous Visitor #2.
    How about the following Saturday Herald’s headline, had I been mauled

  14. Good Post 🙂

    BTW, thought this place had been invaded by landless peasants and all the game hunted down with snares and somesuch primitive traps… thought wrong.

  16. So what have you planned for Minnie’s birthday Mickey? I know its a while yet, but your treat set the bar high, isn’t?! How you gonna top that one? Plus this one will be significantly special, considering it won’t be the birthday of a plutonic friend.

  26. Probly! as in JB would be lazy enough to think that the sex being gooder than usual would be enough to make Minnie feel like she is liked a lot.

  27. FYI my birthday was in July and mickey came up with an unexpected, brilliant, awesomest gift. in fact, he’s the one that set the bar high. as for the ahem…er sex promised…Always!!

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