Woke up on Saturday morning sporting the nastiest hangover in a week (heh), but She decided to bundle me into her car anyway.
I didn’t know where we were going, but I had my Red Label, a few tonics and a glass, so I didn’t mind being kidnapped. But imagine my shock and horror when she started zooting down the highway! Woman! There’s rugby! On telly! Then Zimbabwe Women! Help! Help!
She eventually turned off after Selous, swung left into the bush and next thing I knew were at Chengeta Safari Lodge! So there I was, standing in a game park with a blinding headache and a drink in my hand. Beached. Whale.
The first thing that hits you is the quiet. There are no TVs in the rooms, there’s no cellphone signal, nothing. It’s complete silence, and you can hear every wilderbeest turd hit the ground.
Like when this fucking lion was bellowing through the night, sounding like it was right on our varandah, scaring us shitless and keeping me up till dawn. The thing across the car park behind a high fence (we only found this out the next day) but I haven’t been that scared since … well, never.
Incidentally, when you’re driving through the bush in an open game viewing truck, and it’s thick and brown on either side, don’t start talking about The Ghost and the Darkness. Just saying.
From the lunch on arrival, the private game drive, sundowners under the fig tree, chilling in the trophy room, horse riding in the morning … I had a great old time.
Although I managed to stay on my horse for all of 3 minutes, having had an awful running tum since the day before, the whole experience was awesome, and I’m definitely going back.
The worst part? Driving back to Harare, with all the noise and cars and shit drivers and NOISE!