Import culture

by Posted on

So Zimbabwe has become a society of importers. There’s barely any manufacturing to talk about, and if you nee anything, ANYthing it has to come from outside.

Like rice. The most commonly found rice is brought in from Moza or Bots in 25kg bags, and flogged in US dollars or Rand. If you can’t pay the cost, well “…let them eat potatoes”.

And clothes. Nobody makes clothes anymore (except FaithWear, whose brand has really weakened for me). And walking into Edgars is just sad. So what do I do if I really need a new suit? A nice, soft, black or navy suit? Order one from South Africa.

And beer. We had a braai on Saturday (yes, we still braai) with some mate and we had to buy Windhoek Lager. In US dollars. And the odd bottle of Johnnie Walker Red. And a crate of castle quarts. All in green.

I wonder how things are across the railway line?

Published by Joe Black

48 Replies to “Import culture”

  2. You make it sound like tatas are a bad thing! There are more versatile than rice. And easier to cook.

  4. Ish is bad, to get a hair do you have to either have USD10, R100 or 5 litres of petrol…Can you imagine going to the hair salon with a chigubhu of fuel….Zimbabwe is just toooooo special

  6. What?! You mean to say people are actually walking around with dead presidents in their pockets? Dead AMERICAN presidents for that matter. Does Bob realise what this implies. That he is inadvertently Bush’s puppet.

  7. Yes, I’m saying the USD is basically semi-legal tender in Harare now (can’t speak for the nation, as I haven’t travelled in a month).

  9. how are ordinary people getting their hands on that filthy american lucre though, coz if the stories are to be believed the exchange rate is through the roof and salaries are static

  12. Bread $1, chicken $5, potatoes $12, beef $5.7/kg, pork $3.30/kg If you poor then you screwed. A lot of stuff in cheaper in greenbacks than in shona dollars.

    Black just buys beer

  13. Yeah, I know nothing about pricing for anything else.

    So people are so fucking depressed in this town, it’s stupid. I almost took out at least THREE zombies when I was driving around before lunch.

  15. I remember when they first announced a trillion dollar national budget, everyone was aghast. Now my mother’s very mediocre house is valued at more than that. The insurance company won’t let her insure it yearly, they have resorted to monthly coz they just can’t keep up with the changes. Ingaite nyika here iyoyo. That you don’t even think of saving in the local currency because the value will have dropped by the time you get to the bank.

  16. Some of our professions are now “unemployable” in Zim -should we have stuck around to be dealers nhai JB naMM

  17. No of course not, even some of us IT guys can’t turn ourselves into dealers. Maybe the accounts and marketing guys I can understand (hehehe).

    Especially maauditors … turning to dealing 🙂

    To be honest, I’m starting to consider bouncing.

  18. Inga! Mambatatisi anodhura kupinda nyama. How come no one knows exactly how people are actually getting by?

    Akomana, MTV Cribs inondisvota. Mabhoyi anonyadzisa dzimwe nguva.

  19. Apparently the diaspora is playing a huge part in sustaining livelihoods back home…
    And JB I hve a sneaky feeling you considering to move when things are about to get right.. I think its time to look forward and start imagining a better Zimbabwe. We truly hve to reclaim our status as Africa’s best… and I can smell it we getting there.

  20. i hear that kids at school dont learn anymo during school hours but instead the teachers offer extra lessons after school hours in USD off course….so myt as well let the kids sleep in this winter and take them for the extra lessons after 12……boy oh boy dont i wish i was still in school (sleeping in)……Zim is tooo special..

  21. Andy Tee, do you know something that the rest of us don’t. Because you sound very optimistic. Some would even say very prematurely so. Fill us in. Has Zanu resigned or something? 🙂

  22. At one stage we have to stop crying and complaining and be positive. I have decided to be positive… and no I dnt kno anything I just want to imagine a better Zimbabwe.
    Imagine if this whole discussion is on what we want a better Zim to be like in the near future… maybe I am wrong but our prayers are being answered.

  23. Oh. I see. Atheist and pessimist here. Also gave up on hope in all aspects in my life. Therefore, my view of Zim is currently that hell is on earth and it can be found there, among other places. And it will take about at least a century before she can reclaim the spectre for being one of Africa’s best. And this i likely to happen only after getting even worse than now. Basically, the outlook is grim and will remain so for a long time. 🙁

    Disclaimer: I mean no offence to anyone with my lack of faith. I just have not had any reason to have any at all. You name any one thing that is hopeful and I can name ten that are just hopeless.

  24. The guy who wanted to see in the dark invented a bulb… and the guy who wanted to talk to someone faraway invented the phone..and it all started as a dream. Some pessimists must hve laughed but these dreams have changed the world.
    I choose to be hopeful and dream.. Even if I dnt live to see the dream some Zimbabwean will.. I rest my case.

  26. 🙂 JB, I can always count on you to air what people are thinking but are too polite and considerate to say.

    Hey, I dream of playing guitar like Slash or Jimi, but you wont find me strumming away hoping. Dreams, I find, are non-committal, they are just another word for potential. You can dream and not feel bad about not achieving them, because you have not emotionally committed to them. Hopes are analogous with expectations, and we all know expectations leave you wide open to disappointment. The odds are against you. Kinda like people’s approaches to relationships. You’re with someone you like.

    1. You dream of being married to them one day. But you are happy to keep it casual because, they dump your ass, you didn’t really put much work into it therefore you didn’t waste much energy. This works best if you expect the worst from the whole thing from the start.

    OR

    2. You hope to marry them. When they kick your ass to the curb, you hwihwidza and consider suicide and shit.

    I for one am comfortable with the former. But I still have dreams.

    PS: If hopelessness was a religion, I’d be the prophet. Hell, I’d be one of the many deities. I’d be Dambudziko.

  27. Tara, what you need, my girl, is therapy. Or a really good shaggin’. Same thing, really 🙂 (aside: I await the backlash).

    Even if you charge in USD though, you’re still in sheet because everything is expensive anyway. People are making USD PROFITS.

  28. I beg to differ. It is those who have expectations who need therapy. They expect a lot from a world that is under the random influences of physical elements. Odds are always 50:50. In my book, they are shit odds, especially when one is hoping to be in the right 50. Hope is overated. The more I think about it, the more daft hope gets.

    That at least sounded sensible in my head.

  29. According to the statistics, pessimists live longer. As do people who are depressed who don’t kill themselves first. Seems they have a greater sense of self-preservation than the optimists.

    But Tara, that is the thing about hope and faith, they don’t make any sense, that is the whole point. If they made sense they would be rational and that is a whole different kettle of fish. What you are doing sounds like a cop out coz you don’t want to engage.

    And I am with JB, there are few problems that a good shagging cannot temporarily obliterate. Some might even argue, better than alcohol.

  30. Ahh. A rational world. My dream. But notice how I am not hopeful for one, because, it will never happen and I am over it.

    I can live with being a cop-out. I’d be ashamed of it, if it wasn’t that it would imply the desire to change, and desire to change is coupled by expectations and therefore potential for failure…And you know how the song goes.

    On the treatment side, I am perfectly fine. No problems here. 🙂

  31. How horrendously bleak your life must be. Obviously you don’t need our sympathy coz those are active choices that you have made, but man, how do you get up in the morning when you seem to have so little to motivate you?

  36. Pessimist, optimistic, realist. It’s all about perception.

    Question of the day – why is it that we need to have talks if we are 100% empowered and we voted in peace?

    Useless fact of the day – the Herald Cover price is a good indicator of inflation – 100million %.

    Reality of Zimbabwe – Delta Beverages increased the price of beer yesterday (and they wonder why we are drinkin imported beer).

    Good weekend to all except black. please go and support your ruby team that is losing left right and centre. BTW I can’t wait for your blog on how darkies destroy. How much tennis and bowling was going on at the Milton Park Bowling Club on Saturday?

  37. Thank Squire. BD, you sound like you have plans for the weekend and already have you foot out the door. 🙂

    We are 100% empowered and we voted in peace? Really. I had it the complete opposite. No empowerment and definitely no peace. Well, maybe peace because those who had a bone to pick decided not to go where they could disturb the peace.

  38. Lol Squire. Nice one.

    BD, get off my team’s case. As for the MP Bowling & Tennis Club … lol. I think the only bowlers there are ghosts china.

    I’ll be there tonight, maybe trying to bowl a maiden over. (Geddit?)

    Good Friday to all, and an even better Saturday, especially YOU BEAUTIFUL WALLABIES!!!!

  40. Well, Bokke is going out there to win it for Madiba since he holds such a special place in their collective hearts. So they say. After their win agenest the All Blacks last weekend they will be feeling pretty invincible. Should be interesting.

  41. Tara: dunno, he hasn’t been around in a while. Why, you have plans for him?

    Those Wallabies better sort that out right quick, and fatten ’em up for when my boys arrive down South.

  44. Tara, does this mean that you will now allow yourself the luxury of entertaining even a sliver of hope?

  46. Instead of ‘Surf have a go show’ we have ‘T-T have a go show’ (pronounced Teet, T for Tigere and Tara).

    So 100bn dollar note, what does one of those babies get you, coz I hear it’s less than minimum wage?

    Australia did the business against Sarf Airfrika. JB you must be pleased

  48. 100 billion dollars won’t even get you a single PINT of lager in a bottle store. So fuck it.

    Wallabies, I loved it! I was having such a gas, mocking the Sasco supporters, lol.

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