Mating habits of the drunken monkey

by Posted on

First of all, dude, I don’t know you. I don’t remember your name since my mate introduced us three hours ago. I don’t need it.

I didn’t know she was your girl. I wouldn’t have cared either way. It’s a nightclub. There’s dancing. So I’m dancing. And she’s dancing back. She seems to like it. In fact, now that I have my hand on her ass, she’s enjoying it even more.

So don’t give me shit just cos I have a handle on your girl. You need to get a handle on your girl. Don’t make your problems mine.

Cos I can tell, and she can tell, and you can tell, that she wants to go home with me tonight.

Not you.

Published by Joe Black

69 Replies to “Mating habits of the drunken monkey”

  1. I see Black has been out on the town again. And is still to get his head around keeping a low profile. Let me guess, you dont go around looking for trouble, troble always seems to seek you out.

  3. And in the red corner, we have JB weighing in at 100 pounds, about to get his nose bloodied, his ass kicked, and his manhood stripped, but he is still going in anyway. That you continue to live to tell the tale is a sure sign that the gods have not forsaken you, Jesus would have wished to be in your shoes.

  4. Seriously though, if you can’t handle your own woman, please please don’t bring ger out in public. Surely it’s one of the Golden Rules?

    Anyway, I’m a lov … oh what the hell, I just like OPP.

  6. We are misbehaving again I see. So where is the rest of the story? Did u take the hoochie with? Were you pulverised? Conclusion?

  9. Let this be a warning to all you skivers out there.

    BOSS said to an employee: “Do you believe in life after Death?

    EMPLOYEE : “Certainly not! There’s no proof of it,” he replied.

    BOSS : “Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral, he came here looking for you.!”

  10. JB – glad to see u r making the most of your time in the Falls. Do u still use that move of yours on the dancefloor?

  11. No bra, THAT move has been long abandoned (altho’ I will not be responsible if it’s pulled out again one day).

    I’ve learnt some new tricks and they seem to be working

  12. Well, those purported skills might need a bit more refining, coz bra, you are still going home alone.

  17. Me lm on your side ekse, no matter what the “others” say. By the way, London, the bird is in the cage, l repeat, the bird is in the cage.

  20. player: I wasn’t expecting them to be funny. I was chastising them for finding humour in my (self-confessed) lack of … inter-play 😉

  21. Lady of the forest to Tino and Elle. There appears to be a very covert and rude operation taking place here. I recommend an all out assault from all directions. Currently on standby awaiting instruction. Please advice. Over.

  26. Man, don’t get me started. i had one of thise mothers who thought TV was evil and rejoiced when the one we had died. Didn’t get to watch TV until I got to high school.

  28. Did I miss something or maybe the ironic tone went over my head, but how did we get to this remark ‘Blacks dont expect evryone to be funny yet u always make stupid remarks of yourself… ‘?

  30. I will never tire of mocking the insane idiots who post comments at RustyGate. The way to win a debate is not through name-calling and ranting. And so I hesitated ever-so-briefly about whether to call these people “insane idiots.”? Then I realized am talking of people who, apparently in all seriousness, advocate the illegal BLACK (S) Market, Oops!!!!!!. I cannot think of any other way of describing someone who believes that. I think “insane idiot”? may actually be the clinical, legal term for such a person. So while it’s generally unfair to dismiss a point of view with rude language and condescension, I did not feel those rules applied here.

  32. JB, your past is coming back to haunt you, maybe it’s the own from the club who you were OPP-ing. Wotoenda kunana Tobaiwa Mudede unoripa kumidzimu, coz there is some seriously bad karma generating from Player. But whatever drug Player is on, I need a hit of that.

  33. Mr Black Its so obvious how people would respond…my real motive will be to win a useless argument. Or pull down those who think are superior than others……

  34. Sure I am also lost in the wilderness. Please start from the beginning and tell us your story player.

  35. Player, dude, what is your angle? Where are you coming from here? I for one am missing something. Or rather, a shed load. For starters, you a friend or foe? How is it that you came to be posting on this here blog? And explain to me as if I were a three year old what you are talking about? Please forgive me if I sound antagonistic as that is not my intention. I just want to know what has all hot an bothered. That way, I can defend myself if I am indeed one of those people you be referring to as insane and idiotic. Que pasa?

  38. Joe, please, I am being serious here. Let the guy have his say. Player, ignore him for now. Talk to us.

  40. A woman would call herself slut or hoe, not Player. And no woman is going to willingly carry that title.

  41. I would be hard pressed to find a girl who would call herself player, wouldn’t you. Mind, I could be wrong, in which case I would say I meant guy in a unisex kinda way. And the *his* was just a typo? Oh come on, that is SO such a boy. My question is what ethnic background is he?

  43. Dude, for someone who seems to hold the rest of us mere mortals in such high contempt, you spend a lot of time on this site. Put up or shut up bra, coz you are killing the vibe here. Go roll a joint or something, I would recommend http://www.ft.com for your highbrow to feel validated.

  44. Hey Elle, player’s got as much right as anyone else to be as highbrow as he/she wants to be :-).

    We’re still waiting for your story player. Or have the girls scared you shitless? …

  46. Eleanor am so disapointed at you never thought u cud be so immature to make such silly croaking sounds…U wanna see how real Player can be? am offering free waxing free service….My idea was or is to give people a vibrant public firestorm……

  48. Player, I would humour you, but that would be tantamount to mental masturbation as it would definitely be a solo act, your lack of humour being glaringly blatant. As for you anonymous, that rock that you crawled out from is calling for the return of your insignificance.

    This is the point where JB would probably jump in to tell everyone to play nice, and for me not to club any more baby seals. So I am stepping out. To have a beer, roll a joint, wank, and join the rest of my loser clan, in no specific order.

  50. Excuses excuses Eleanor. If you know your “pretty decent” then my comment shouldn’t have bothered you…..or maybe you realize that you say all this shyt because its easier to appeal to the 99% of awful players out there, instead of the top 1% of players.

  51. If I was so “insignificant” then how come you are still moved by my existence. It just goes to show that you Eleanor are just paranoid and not so “decent”. Go ahead have a beer, roll a joint, wank and do join the rest of your most definately LOSER clan in THAT specific order

  52. I want to join the internet bickering too but I can’t quite figure out what the argument is all about.

    Where’s the beef?

  53. Thank you ALIAS. This is becoming frustrating. like squeezing blood from a rock. What exactly got Player worked up. Joe, dont you dare change the post until we get to the bottom of this. People are holding back from us. We are being called names when we don’t realise it. I am finding all this entertaining but I don’t know whether I should really be taking offence. Someone, please, put me out of my misery. Should I remain neutral or should I take Elle’s aggressively defensive approach?

  54. I’m hanging on to an awesome zinger because I don’t know who to strike at.

    HELP!!!

    Player insult my intelligence! Eleanor tell me that me that my existence is a fart in the wind! Joe for God’s sake hit on my girlfriend already!

  55. Alias, at least a fart in the wind has a chance of being an annoyance for some poor soul. You make an impact to someone, granted not a positive one, but an impact none the less. That’s something right?! Count yourself lucky. 🙂

  56. Besides, with Elle, you know that she doesn’t not like you and why. And I doubt it is personal. She is a self confessed cynic. Player, on the other hand, is being coy verging on down right rude.

  58. JB, you sure it ain’t some woman scorned on an awkwardly strategised rampage. I wouldn’t put it past you have one of those in your 28 year old wake. LOL. 😉 Maybe this is all overflow from the last post. Or, like when i first latched on, he be responding to past posts. I just don’t get why he doesn’t just come out and explicitly describe what it is that warranted all the comments. IT Aint the name calling that is beginning to piss me off. It is that I dont know what i have done. LORD!!!

  60. Hey JB? You watching? 5-0 (so far). You must be having an orgasm, actually having multipe orgasms. Good on you and Liverpool.

  63. It’s been maddening, to say the least, to see the plausibility of events that am witnessing questioned by fucking haters who are eagier to know my sex and of course my beef.
    Apparently am so reluctant to take the time out of my already insane schedule fighting an actual war in order to play some role in an ideological battle that I never wanted to join.
    I will let everyone here to fucken screw me for the savaging to begin… inonzi 8 kuwa Nya for Real…….

  65. JB, If you feel am being too offensive for nothing then i might consider leaving but also bear in mind that sometimes its worth it to spark controversy….See how many people Hollering a damn record of 64….Sorry Fellaz am out……..

  67. A little independent research would reveal that the record is in fact 117 postings dating from June 12 2007, for a minor post entitled ‘So many Christmases’. Firestarter? Douche bag.

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