Newsflash: man has blog!

So you think you’re special? You’re just another blogger, man. You’re just another tiny fish in an ocean whose depth and magnitude you can barely comprehend. You? Phytoplankton (look it up, bitch).

SO you think a snazzy title will get you readers. Good luck with that. How many real people out there wanna read your mutterings and mumblings about how your life sucks, your love life sucks, and your sporting teams suck? Here’s an idea for your next post; I’m gonna kill myself. That won’t suck, guaranteed.

So you got yerself a blog, huh? Nice one, china. It won’t get you laid though. You can trust me on that. The amount of play you’ll get off your blog is as much as a lice-infested three-eyed bald eunuch will get. The sex is out there, in the real world, not sitting in your underwear in front of that laptop. Take a shower, comb your hair and see the world. That blinding white light will be the sun, don’t be scurred it’s one of the good guys.

What, you think peppering your posts with ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ makes you sound hip and cool? Nope. Just foul and unimaginative, really. Here’s a thought; write a funny, insightful post and try not to swear. Bet that will have you scratching your head for a while.

So you have a fucking blog? Welcome to the club. Don’t pee in the watter, guppy.

20 Replies to “Newsflash: man has blog!”

  1. forgive me for being blunt, but from reading your own blog you seound exactly the same as whoever it is you are flaming, so look at yourself first!

  2. Oh, just woke up this morning and felt like taking the piss. It’s good to laugh at yourself once in a while, kinda refreshing!

    Stormers to crush the Force tonight!!!

  3. ok… yeah no doubt the stormers will do the deed! the way peeps are taking the piss coz i support SA teams is not even funny! and the sahrkes will give the tahs a hiding as well!

  4. good on ya joe, reminding me of that poem

    Build for yourself a strong box,
    Fashion each part with care;
    Hide there all thought of your failures,
    Put all your troubles there;
    And each bitter cup that you quaff;
    Lock all your heartaches within it,
    Then sit on the lid and laugh

  5. Jesus tigz, I had no idea you were this funny. Just thought you were the pretty-boy headboy back in the day.

  6. pandora looks on with envy as your miseries are loosed upon the world. so now that you have unleashed all this info, what’s left in the corner of the dark chest that masquerades as your heart?

  7. Oh don’t worry peeps, there’s a nice dank, musty attic you’ll never have access to. Otherwise the rest of the loony-house is yours to roam free 🙂

    Tigz = Headboy? Str-ange…

  8. sharks beat the tahs! i heard you say on friday…i might be a punk but i know my shit!good morning y’all all hope u had a pleassant weekend.

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