So you think you’re special? You’re just another blogger, man. You’re just another tiny fish in an ocean whose depth and magnitude you can barely comprehend. You? Phytoplankton (look it up, fool).
SO you think a snazzy title will get you readers. Good luck with that. How many real people out there wanna read your mutterings and mumblings about how your life sucks, your love life sucks, and your sporting teams suck? Here’s an idea for your next post; I’m gonna kill myself. That won’t suck, guaranteed.
So you got yerself a blog, huh? Nice one, china. It won’t get you laid though. You can trust me on that. The amount of play you’ll get off your blog is as much as a lice-infested three-eyed bald eunuch will get. The sex is out there, in the real world, not sitting in your underwear in front of that laptop. Take a shower, comb your hair and see the world. That blinding white light will be the sun, don’t be scurred it’s one of the good guys.
What, you think peppering your posts with ‘feck’ and ‘shit’ makes you sound hip and cool? Nope. Just foul and unimaginative, really. Here’s a thought; write a funny, insightful post and try not to swear. Bet that will have you scratching your head for a while.
So you have a fecking blog? Welcome to the club. Don’t pee in the watter, guppy.