Two sheets to the wind

This past weekend’s life lessons.

1. Nobody visits the Scud & Nanny on a Friday night. Once you’re there, prepare to stay till closing time.

2. Super 14 rugby is dangerous. Watching rugby on a Saturday morning, whilst also catching Zimbabwe’s net practice, is asking for trouble. Beware the green bottle.

3. Liverpool don’t like winning, especially when playing the derby against Everton at home.

4. Birthday braais are fun. They stop being fun when you realise you’re so drunk, you can’t even understand the words coming out your own mouth. At that point, go to bed.

5. Zimbabwe cricket still sucks, as we watched the most splendid display of Test batting we’ve seen in a long time. Unfortunately, it was in an ODI.

Actually, these are about half the lessons I learnt over the weekend, but I thought these were the most pertinent. The rest aren’t really worth sharing, unless you wanna hear all about burnt spaghetti and how not to get laid.

That’s another post, another day.

33 Replies to “Two sheets to the wind”

  1. Originally 3 sheets, the general usage, but two is more ‘modern’ as sailing ships began to use 2 sails instead of 3, hence the reduction in the number of ‘sheets’.

    Do some googling.

  2. I c u got drunk & disorderly again which inevitably means u tried your luck on some poor unsuspecting soul. Top effort!

  3. Hesi Joe, I like your blog…..Tried your mobile number….Number not available????? Ko how far nemafirimu angu?

  4. So Black had an educational weekend. But I declare that there is but one lesson he blocked out of his memory as I figure it is too painful and traumatic to come to terms with. Yep, ManU kicked ass over the weekend to find themselves six points clear at the top of the league tables. In your pretty little face Joe. Any comments? I know you wanna. 🙂
    So, what did everyone else learn over the weekend.

    ooh, Any word on the emails I sent ya? I sent them to redacted.

    Maximus: Either that or they (the souls) were pissed off their faces.

  5. Joe & mobile number, in one sentence? Tisha is not serious! Man U rocked too good & for good measure even had O’Shea in goals. As for your poor souls Black, at least u can use booze in your defence…….but then again if u were as super fucked as u claim to be its a blessing in disguise that u didnt come correct with any of them. We wouldnt want u passing out “on the job” now would we

  6. TiSha, you know me by now sweetie. I’ll call you.

    As far as ManUre are concerned, I can grudgingly admit that your boys are doing well. For now. Watch this space 🙂

    Squire, have you ever passed out on the job? I haven’t, not since my life!!! Never happen, either.

    Galadriel, I got your mail, will sort it out this morning

  7. I have seen u pass out infront of a steering wheel with the car in motion(which can kill), I doubt nokkie from a lass u can hardly see will keep u awake

  8. Yeah Joe Brent akagona zvake but they couldn’t have won without Sibandas innings, so its not right kuti varungu whatwhat

  9. It snowing like mad up in here. Got snow all the way up my wazoo. Should be beautiful and shit, but it only has me all wet. I’d take rain anyday to this. Oh, also wat Dream Girls, What a crock of shit!!!

  10. GRAW,i get te feeling you taking the mick out of me. It aint no laughing matter. I hate chick flicks and Especially hate all the burst into song shite. Give me blood and gore anyday.

    We knew the snow was coming but i thought it’d be done by the time i dragged my fat ass out the house.

  11. Have you watched apolcalypto yet..
    Funny thing bout the snow is that most of these pommies here stay home coz they cant get in! what a load of tripe! Where as the rest of us get up and trek it even if we are dying of the flu! They have it too easy here…

  12. Wouldn’t mind being a pommie right now.
    Haven’t watched Apocalypto. I think I will wait this one out until out on DVD as it is subtitled I’d hate to miss anything and not be able to rewind. Smoking Aces made my year. Lovely men and loads of flying detached limbs. Next on my list is hannibal rising. Oh, and he new Nicholas Cage one. Love that whole sold soul to the devil theme. love story or draa or romcom make me ill.

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