I finally did it. Deactivated my Facebook account. And you know what? Nothing. I do’t feel anything. Not because I am numb with grief for all those lost hours spent contorting my grammar into weird (but witty) third person statements preceded by ‘is’.Not because I won’t be able to voyeuristically poke into and trawl anonymously through other people’s lives.
I feel nothing because at some point, I stopped caring. Being randomly and repeatedly poked by people too lazy to actually make time to write an email, or even just post on my wall, got tired pretty quickly.
As for the cretin who created that Funwall application, may his bottom be covered in painful pus-filled boils and may his scrotum disappear into the farthest regions of his intestines. And if the creator was a chick, may the batteries in her vibrator always die prematurely like the men in her life and may her breasts be covered in fish-like scales.
Part of me thought the vacuum left by this decision would be hard to fill. But really, what vacuum? Like that McPhee chick sang – “I’m so over it”.
Normal service has resumed.
P.S. Bet you are all singing ‘heard it all before’ but I promise ‘I can change’.