A beginner’s guide to racism: 5 myths about black people

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Niggers - clueless

1: All black people do in fact look the same, those thick lips and the coarse nappy hair that no amount of straightening / relaxing / perming / gerry curling / weaving will ever cure. And they certainly don’t mind when you call them all by the same name, they are just happy to be acknowledged.

2: Of course they smell different, all those years of picking cotton in the masser’s fields and the open fires over which they cook their ‘soul’ food has become genetically ingrained.

3: Three key professions: all negroes are born able to sing and with a sense of rhythm, that’s why so many of them are in the gospel choirs and/or are video hoe-fessionals. Also, all the years of running away from lions in the deepest darkest African jungles have trained them to be prime athletes.

4: There is truth in the assertion that black people are less intelligent. Look around, how many black CEOs of major corporations do you see, now look again, how many of those same black people do you see languishing in prisons?

5: Wealth will never get to the black communities because they spend far too much money on bling and rims and too much time watching MTV and having illegitimate children, while smoking crack cocaine.

Disclaimer: The ironic views expressed in this column reflect only those of the 51% minority and in no way, shape, form, race, colour or creed reflect the views of the editor or this column. The editorial team encourages freedom of speech and the expression of diverse views. The views of columnists published are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of this site. (just covering some legal asses)

Published by Eleanor

Tired of all the nonsense. When will the madness end.

22 Replies to “A beginner’s guide to racism: 5 myths about black people”

  1. Nice post sisi, but I’m shocked; YOU posting about black myths with no penile references? Are we to understand you have so far been … lucky?

  2. I thought about it deeply, long and hard. But I thought I would leave that to other people to add their own myths. p.s. I love the Boondocks, that Huey/Riley dynamic is hysterical.

  7. It’s very quiet here today.

    And please, not all black African women can make sadza/pap like your mom used to make.

  9. True, 2 years not eating it, and not a single cell in my body yearns for it. Personally I loathe the stuff. White, yellow, straight run, super refined, I dont care. To misquote Marie Antoinette ‘Let it be fed to the chickens’

  12. WHY???!!! When you can have potatoes, rice, pasta, noodles, bread, or cous cous. Can you grate cheese over sadza and call it a meal? NO. Can you toast bread and smear butter and call it a meal? No!! Can you leave sadza in the oven for an hour while you take long bath after a hard day’s work or while you go off to the gym or jogging and then add a knob of butter and call that a meal or snack?? NO!!! Can you have fifty variations of that thing called sadza which are completely different? Hell no, the only variations are chidhinha or porigi. Okay (panting), now, let me ask you again, Why would anyone be unable to go 2 weeks without it. I haven’t touched the stuff for 8 years and counting (and yes i have access to it in my cupboard).

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