The Story of a Zimbabwean Laptop
Comrades, I must admit I have a rebellion on my hands.
My computer is split into three factions with all of them up in arms (prolly cos they’re cut from the same cloth). The entire system is on a go-slow, resource usage is sky-rocketing and now even the smaller programs are refusing to function.
First I thought I’d been infected by a virus from outside; but after purging a variety of files with no solution, it seems the problem is an internal matter which somehow slipped through all my safeguards.
I have tried all sorts of stop-gap measures, removing unnecessary software to curb leakage of resources, but I’m now having issues with the basic hardware itself. My memory is failing, the screen fades out and even blanks out occasionally; the central processor is having a hell of a time trying to cope.
I’m even past the stage where regular reboots are helpful. The system crashes when I run video, open too many connections to the rest of the world, even when I plug in (or remove) peripherals. Bloody hell, if I disconnect the power cable for a second the whole system freezes.
I think it’s time to declare a state of emergency here. I’ll call in the Linux cavalry and wipe the entire thing out, amalgamate all three partitions, and rebuild the system on a back-to-basics template.
Or maybe I’ll just admit failure and give my laptop to another user.
failure is not an option!
Well, at 100 000% inflation, failure is the only option. Now just to negotiate an exit strategy.
Hey, what’s inflation got to do with it? I just need to buy a new, smaller and more discreet laptop 🙂
Well, it’s an interesting allegory you have used here. A bit of genius, in my reckoning. You do of course have to factor in things like, will the user you pass it on to FIX it? Or will he wreck it beyond consolation? Or even give it up in frustration?
All around, job well done mate. %100,000? Must be horrible.
Why thank you, and welcome. The next user could very well consign it to the scrap heap, but like Ed said … failure is not an option!
Major dominion, some lip gloss to lubricate your ass-kissing? :))
Oh Ele you beat me to it. Ibvai apa. Throw it away!
Ladies, ladies, don’t be bitches all your lives 🙂
Gazza’s got mental health problems. Like, duh.
I am looking for CDs by the Celebration Choir of Bonnie Deuschle fame. I have looked around online I must be using the wrong search criterion coz I cant find anything. Any ideas/help/sources?
Gazza has always been a nut case..
The Indians have spoken and the spineless ICC have jumped……money talks and the ICC have a very good ear!!!
Do you want to buy the CDs or pirate them? Cos I know someone you can get in touch with from Celebration Music.
what the fuck is hapnin round hrr? last post the chick was happy an’ now the dude is talkin’ politics
hezvo hezvo……..
LOL talk about getting the message, but missing the point.
Simba Makoni. The onld man has u by the ballz
At this rate, I’ll be running for office in the next election. So I’ve got 5 years to sort my shit out.
Typical of Zimbos to beat about the bush. You know that ‘Sekuru’ in a core processor is too old and has been a lousy manager anyway.
I think you stuffed it up back in 2000 when you defragged and instead of optimizing, the stupid machine deleted system files and allocated space for You Tube video steaming and now your hard drive is a ‘party over here’ for all the black people.
My recomendation – change the operating system!
Ha ha ha ha! Shall we change to apple?
“defrag”. Good times.
aiwa mhata dzenyu ed lover act like you dont know, plus I know kuti joe muvengi wamudhara!!!!!!!!
Are you drunk, biahtch? You know that I don’t hate anybody … much love for all the peeps. (gallery: yeah, right!!)
nhai cheeks wsup with that?
Jambanja at the hotel …
can i come for a drink up?
It’s off now, underscribed. We’re going to Mambo’s.
JB Esq. If you could hook me up with some bootleg copies, I would be most appreciative. But I am prepared to pay for them if need be. This is only as the last recourse mind you.
How much is a beer nowadays?
Hah no chance dear, we don’t DO bootleg 🙂
Beer is costly iwe, 15 to 20 million for a pint, 30 million for a headmaster. Double that for imports.
Shame.
and what about bottlestore prices?surely those are pub,club prices.
heheh 😀 liverpool won 😀 cheaski lost 😀 arsenal drew but the scum won and how 🙁
except for the last part twas a cool weekend how was everyone elses
hmm bottle store pint is 7 without empty… do the math guessin everything else is like half keg price
So did you have your little drinks party? I’m going to the Kaap for the week yippee. Sun!
cape town sucks durban baby what? what?
I think I was a little late in trying to organise my little do, next time I’ll plan it well ahead.
So how about the Oscars? Any surprises.