Here we go again

Another few months, another Gideon Gono Special. Welcome, boys and girlies, to 2009.

Given the currency revaluation, combined with the need
to give impetus to the export sectors,  the starting
interbank exchange rates will be at:

•  Z$2 (re-valued) (Two trillion Zimbabwe Dollars
before Revaluation), is to equal a unit of the
South African Rand; and

•  Z$20 (re-valued), Z$20 trillion before
revaluation; to a unit of the US dollar, with all
cross rates against all the other currencies
applying.

Download the entire file here. Download a PDF reader here. Don’t click here.

15 Replies to “Here we go again”

  1. I came, I clicked, I came again.

    Sorry couldn’t help it.

    Gono is due for some honorary economics degree from Harvard or Oxford or some prominent Chinese uni.

    He has totally re-written the economics textbook and has provided the greatest case study ever in hyper inflation. If for nothing else, the info he’s laid out for future desk jockeys and analysts is priceless (or at least worth a couple trillion)

  2. Ha! Congrats Alias, I put that just to see who’d be first to admit you had. You win the prize, head straight to the dancing girls via beer table, do not pass go.

  3. Went about 20 pages into his MP Statement and the preamble sounds like typical Zanu crap… in short he is saying that all the funnynomics that are happening are merely responses to “economic, social and political arsonists”. eish…

  4. If buy dancing girls and beer you mean spreadsheets and boring emails then I’ve already claimed my prize…

  5. TO DOLLARISE OR NOT TO DOLLARISE

    “As Monetary Authorities, we wish to highlight that the
    framework of licensing the special foreign exchange
    shops does not amount to the dollarisation of the
    economy in the strict technical sense of the word. All we are doing is to liberalize our trading environment by
    multi-currencying it. This is a tailor-made strategic intervention that is meant to bring convenience to the general public, as well as supporting productive efficiencies, whilst at the same time preserving the sovereign Zimbabwe dollar”

  6. The guy is a bit of a smooth talker. I wonder what he’s like with the girls. He really think there is much left of sovereign Zim dollar to preserve. Surely it is now a novelty item unless you’re a civil servant.

  7. Typical Zanu PF drivel…bullshit baffles brains and ZPF propaganda will make you dizzy like a ……!
    That quote (like the rest of the document) is as contradictory as a shemale – and more baffling…

    Someone give me his address so I can go show him what a real “arsonist” can do to “the Reserve Bank Governor in his personal capacity”… 🙂

  8. Guys, we all know that GG is a hot-air salesman who’s never had an original thought in his life. He’s basically trying to say, yes, we failed, f*** it, but still trying to maintain some sort of nationalistic dignity.

    Look, if we cut out all the bullshit “soverenity” stuff from his MPS and from the budget, they would both read “Fuck the ZWD. Go green”.

  9. I recently found an actual Z$2 note lying around in my house… Now that they’ve lopped off another few zeros, do you reckon they’ll bring back that “pondo”?

  10. Before we sprain our brains trying to figure out how ZPF, GG, MG and any other prick out there thinks consider Hegel’s thinking; it explains how the minds of everyone from Stalin to Mugabe works. This is the core concept, you can google for deeper discourse on the principle.

    The Hegelian Principle:

    “Step one: CREATE A “PROBLEM”: Create it or take one that does exist and build it up out of all proportion to its real importance;

    Step Two: PUBLICIZE THE “PROBLEM”: Make sure a story about this problem appears in the news media each and every day, in newspapers, news magazines, radio, and television. Hit it again and again in a “steady drumbeat” that soon has people who don’t pay real attention to politics (which is the majority of them) clamoring for a “solution” to the problem;

    Step Three: OFFER A “SOLUTION”: A solution that takes away one or more of our rights and further undermines the constitutional protections we all are supposed to enjoy. One that involves higher taxes (to pay for this “solution,” of course), and one we would not have allowed them to do without this previous conditioning of the public.”

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