Situation Now All Fucked Up

So apparently those Zanu-PF chaps have, as the direct translation goes, thrown down their spears. About fucking time.

Presenting the “budget” yesterday, the “Acting Finance Minister” basically told us all what we already knew, that the ZWD was a worthless waste of bond paper, and the use of the USD, GBP, ZAR and BWP is now official. Ya think?

ZINWA has finally been stripped of its “management” of water reticulation systems, and water infrastructure and all will revert back to the local councils. No apologies for the fact that this was all predicted in 2005 when ZINWA was given that power, amid a storm of protest and finger-pointing. Fuckin’ey.

Oh, millers are (once again) allowed to buy maize directly from the farmers. No apologies for the corruption and leakage and patronage so rampant at the GMB. Wha’ever.

With all revenue collection to be done in forex now, lemme try and translate this whole mess for those who have no idea what I’m going on about.

“We tried all sorts of shit. We failed. Suck it down”.

22 Replies to “Situation Now All Fucked Up”

  1. So government is adamant that civil servants shall only be paid in Zimbondpaper. So Tambu Civil-servant gets her government stipend on 80gsm, intermittently, over a few days of ATM queuing and maximum daily-limiting, and then has to pay her rates, expenses and bills in “forex”.
    Yet black market forex transactions are illegal and stepping into a bank and requesting foreign currency sounds like some candid camera stunt on the bank employees…

  2. rock bottom is when you can’t dig anymore. we are far from that. we have electricity, water (even if it tastes and looks funny), tv and radio, fuel, food in the shops.

    we are like a block of flats in the avenues – tigere.

  3. I shall attempt to debunk Rock-bottom Theory…which postulates that a set of conditions shall happen upon Zim which shall result in everyone saying in unison – ZVAKWANA!!

    IMO rock bottom is specific to each individual and their circumstances. It is not a universal set of conditions.

    One indicator of reaching rock bottom is emigrating;
    For instance, when one makes the decision to leave Zim, you consider your livelihood as you were growing up, prevailing livelihood and your future prospects.
    Usually (from naivety & ignorance) the perception of the first is fine, the second is deteriorating swiftly and the third is bleak – hence you pack your katundu.

    Each individual reaches the critical point in this evaluation at their own time.

    Also, remember, us educated Zimbos make obedient wage earners and thus have the option of emigrating, legally or otherwise, to relative comfort in “the West”. That drains the urban population who could be toyi-toying…
    That is why the suffering is protracted – that critical mass required to revolt is constantly losing numbers as each individual evaluates his circumstances and leaves.

    And, sadly in 2009, Zim still has a majority rural population of subsistence farmers who could not give a rats arse about electricity, water reticulation and refuse collection. For them life has been a seamless subsistent continuum pre and post colonialism… how in any place on earth do you get lower than ruzevha subsistence? Their existence is based on how to survive. It is all they know. A seed pack and rain is what their life is and hence they vote ZANU after receiving just that.
    There is no rock bottom as we perceive it for the majority of Zimbabwe’s population.

  4. I still argue that Zimbebwe can be spoken of as an individual entity. Just to be clear, is there another country in a worse economic state than us?

    JB, just noticed the title and am wondering ‘what situation?’ Coz as far as I know, the situation has ALWAYS been fucked up. See this is what I meant. Is there ever a time when JB will stop starting anything with something like ‘Situation Now All Fucked Up.’ It’s the use of NOW that gets me. (ALL Rethorical-and broken record-isc-of course)

    I am feeling for all those in the rural areas, Man. it doesn’t get any more fucked than it is for the rural dwellers. No matter how bad it gets in the city, it is tonnes worse kumusha.

  5. Yeah, JB, you might want to rephrase to “situation at higher degree of fuckedupness” 🙂

    @Tara – My angle is that;
    a 30-year-old Guy (A) whose family is politically connected with the requisite Kambanji house, fuel, $US, food, private school-educated, UCT or Wits B.Com alumni etc, and,
    a 30-year-old Guy (B) whose parents are civil servants with a partially “extended” Canaan Fiyo core house, Goromonzi educated, UZ BSc Agronomy, teaching O level Agriculture at kwaGushungo Secondary School in Bikita, no $US, no car etc, and,
    a 30-year-old Guy (C) one parent with a musika, core house, 6 unemployed siblings, with just 5 O level subjects spread over three sittings and bumming off $US sent to his mother from an aunt in the states, needless to say no food, etc.., and,
    a 30-year-old Guy (D) living communally kumusha, ox-drawn plough, fetching water from a well etc,

    and all and other variants and combinations of these situations and/or criteria lead to people feeling the fuckedupness to varying extents.
    Guy A in particular, depending on how far up the food chain he is, may ride out the storm; the variations in the middle will buckle, each at his critical point; and the guy at the bottom will buckle only if it doesnt rain and he doesnt get maize seed.
    Thats my last shot at agreement 🙂

    Yes, things can get worse politically and economically, catch up on Sudan, Somalia, Afghanistan, Liberia, Great Lakes Region, Balkans…

  6. Actually Tara, you would be surprised, some of those okes in the gwashas are living it up(in the loosest possible meaning of the term). Coz that is where the aid agencies start. The rellies in the sticks are the ones who will supply their city counterparts with food packs. And they always have kamunda kavo so food is sor’ed, some of them even get a surplus to sell to the aforementioned GMB. As my mother would say, vakagarika. *replaces tongue to customary setting*

  7. It IS seriously fucked up, now. Cos MDC-T have sold out by agreeing to this fucked up deal, we’re now into USD and just IMAGINE the price hikes with our inflation rates (yes, USD inflation). You’d be surprised how many professional, well-educated, nice-house/flat people are actually starving.

  8. The USD inflation is really quite shocking! My aunt recently jumped ship and I was aghast for hours on figures such as 1,500 for school fees popping up, IN USD!!! :-O

    The average working family in England can’t afford to send two kids to school for £4,500 a year each – and they get state benefits. Gawsh…

  9. USD inflation – hmm – ja well no fine.

    There are two realities on the ground. Zimbos have no concept of single digit values. A dollar is cheap when you are used to trillions. So this has resulted in a misvaluation of assets and coupled with the change issue has resulted in a wrong base value for products and services. There is some correction that is taking place in the market and will continue to do so particularly with more and more shops selling in USD. There are still those who are intent on milking the system. You also have to realise that some peeps have not traded for months are and unfairly trying to recover lost positions.

    The secondary issue is that the erosion of Zim dollar resulted in a fundamental mispricing of assets, goods and services. we have a situation of correction. Some of it through unbridled exuberance and some through necessity. I have always insisted that Zim property has been the cheapest regionally. Now over the last year you have seen a massive correction where some Zim properties are expensive. The same correction has taken place in rentals. Although that is also driven by the landlord’s increased need for usd. When all the subsidies are removed and cost recovery models are employed – our free ride will come to a very abrupt halt.

    The model has changed but we are not resourced to meet the challenge. Government has mortgaged a large portion of our inheritance on the altar of political expediency and self survival. Now as citizens we have to cash those cheques and for too many of us we have written RD on the top

  10. Zim dollar inflation was a no-brainer because the reserve bank was simply printing bills that were not represented by any increase in value of assets or income.
    Every print run was adding a few zeroes to inflation and exchange rate. That bearer cheque printing was criminal bush-economics killing the economy.
    The amount of US$ bills is controlled by that currency’s central bank – we cannot have US$ accumulating at the rate Zim$ were because they are represented by real value and frankly, noone/nothing in Zim can support or generate genuine US$ at the rate Zim$ were.
    And if, by some inexplicable Gononomics, we end up having US$100 loaves of bread, why the hell wont you take your US$ and buy across the border. Therefore, IMO, if my backyard economic fundamentals hold, inflation cannot carry on in US$ unless we start printing our own!

    Market correction shall happen but because of the prevailing business mindset, PRICES SHALL REMAIN HIGH, and possibly increase, but many players shall enter the field and if deregulation is maintained, competition will halt uncontrolled increases. As expected, cartels will emerge with price fixing but there is a ceiling to how far they can push up prices; the limiting factor will be the proximity of Zim to SA, Zambia, Mozambique and Botswana. The prices of consumer goods sold in Zim, in any currency, shall be approx. of cost of import, transport, duty and “reasonable” mark up – any absurd pricing and people will group US$ and bulk-buy across the border.

    The government, by switching to US$ has lost its ability to print Zim$ and hence a huge source of income. The government has been surving by whats left of the mining and farming (those sprawling oppenheimer sugar estates were never touched) and largely by simply printing money. The country needs money and we need it now. We need cash from the IMF, World Bank and whoever has it…just for the country to limp along and we need cash to revive farming and mining so we can generate value and start functioning again.

  11. Impressive… Impressive bullshit i mean…what the fuck is new here?Just wait for the fucking birth of the classic copulation of our down syndrome Tsvangie and his senile octogenarian uncle… hamusati matanga…muchamama!!!!

  12. @G Spot – and your novel point is?

    Interesting Chinamanomics – if every banana republic could dream up a currency and sneeze out an exchange rate to the greenback, global trading would be rather interesting. I mean, whats stopping them stating that the new 1$ = US$1000? How did they get to $20 = USD1?

    And, the rates above would imply that there is a static R/USD rate of 1:10; and the new currency, since it does not trade internationally, and is pegged on a static relationship between these two currencies, is dumped in limbo value whenever the R/USD deviates from 1:10…

  13. Elementary my dear Mos Native….Politics=Economics and hence it follows that fucked politicking = fucked economy.Who would want to inject their dough into an economy that is being jointly led by a trigger happy granddad and a technically inept adversary with the brain of a two year old.

  14. we should have three currencies and in many ways we will. the shona dollar (worth shit), the itsnotmycurrencybutwilluseitanyway and the usd coupon (which is effectively the new zim dollar).

  15. True, but you’re dancing on the surface; you need to get your hands dirty…
    Its not simply a matter of who is head of state. George Bush was a composite of Morgan and Bob. He was as dumb as the former and trigger happy as the latter – and not too young for good measure. But he was Big Brother for two terms.

    The world does not give who takes over or the livelihood of Zimbabweans – Zimbos need to understand that.
    What is playing out in Zim is an economic black-comedy Shakespeare-style “Capitalism vs Petty Bourgeoisie” gone bananas. The whole world knew Bob and Zanu were scum but as long as white capital on the farms and mines was safe, they could not give a flying f@ck! That is what the Lancaster House Farce was, 10 years of “lets give the darkies a taste of money and they shall forget we still own what they fought for”. Well, Zanu tasted and forgot, ex-guerillas did not taste hence remembered, Bob panicked and threatened white capital – and we have been up shit creek since.
    White economic interests are what is at stake here…nothing else! The scenario in Zim plays itself out in any place on earth where there is enough wealth to catch the eye of the big capitalists. People on the ground living daily in Zim are too absorbed with the rat race to see the wood.

    Before you say, so why dont we just protect white capital and get our country back – think about this.
    Zimbabwe, as much of Africa, is underdeveloped and rural. You, by virtue of having access to a PC and the net, are a minority. White capitalism will not allow Africa to develop further than that. They want to mine and farm and repatriate wealth and “loan” you 0.000002% of what they have taken from you, branded as IMF support or Aid.
    The moment you start talking about bringing up the standard of African lives White Capital screams “Communist!”, sponsors a rebel leader, funds a coup and before you know it you’re in a world conflict zone.

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