Dear Luke Watson – good first half bwoy, keep your head up. I know you were nervy on debut, don’t worry about that shitty second half you had, they’ll give you another game. You carried it up well and showed great handling in the first – you still the man.
Dear Barcelona – okay, seriously now? Gents, it’s all well and good to suck in the Champs’ League, but to play surrender monkey in the domestic league you were ruling not too long ago? Now it’s out of your hands, I hope you’re happy. Like, who buys Gudjohnsen?
Dear Lionel Messi – like, OMG WTF LOL.
Dear San Antonio Spurs – guys, please let LeBron score a few points; in fact, give the boy just one win before you wrap up the NBA finals series. Only one, of course, don’t do a Barca.
Dear Judge Michael Sauer – you are the new Captain Kirk. You rock. Go to Vegas on me. Paint the town red. I’ll pick up the tab. I swear I’ll pay. I swear it.