The new national dress

So I was talking to a couple of my boys the other day, and the topic came around to “national dress”.

Specifically, one of them asked me what our national dress is, and I answered without hesitation. Nhembe, shashiko for chicks, nhabwamaringa for dudes.

In short … loin-cloths.

Problem is, we can’t walk around in fucking lon-cloths, can we? Those idiot twins tried it a few years ago, and promptly got arrested. You can’t even drive without a shirt, apparently.

So, what now? Our Zimbabwean ladies have it easy. Anyone who’s ever been to a church service, a wedding with an African theme (or a Women’s League meeting) will testify that all they need is a large Nigerian head-dress, a printed outfit and voila! Sorted.

What about us? Are we relegated to wearing those funny collar-less “African” shirts, with colours derived from across the spectrum?

Shall we wear those long-ass West African dresses like “oga” wears on TV? No thanks.

Winky D had it right. Bhachi ne jean, shati ndakapfekera mukati.

That’s our new national dress … jeans, formal shirt and a sports coat or dinner jacket. Simple. Smart. Don’t forget the watch.

Iyi yanetsa pataundi. Listen

11 Replies to “The new national dress”

  1. we do have national attire – its the average of what we all wear everyday.
    it probably works out to a two-piece suit with padded shoulders and shin-length skirt for women,
    and,
    long sleeved button-up shirt and pleated trousers for men,

    both sets of clothes should be very unflattering and at least two sizes too big.

    that is what our ‘nation’ wears. prior to this there was no nation.

  2. I have no problems wearing loin skins coz I look the #^!¥.

    I just don’t wanna see all those pot bellies hiding behind the bhachis

  3. Hehehehehe Awesome. But seriously, actual legislation. He had to be high, right?! No one is THAT chauvanistic out loud.

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