There is hope (for hops) after all

Yesterday listening to the third monetary policy statement of the year provided some refreshing confirmations to those of us who practise pub economics. We?re discussing the Zim situation over a glass of beer coming up with options on how the current economic crisis (ie the ever increasing price of beer and BEER shortages) can be resolved.

Anyway after a couple of shortages in our favorite beer brands and having tasted all sorts of available brands, we really did come up with brilliant ideas on how to solve this crisis. I must say to all the Scuddies who sit “in the corner”, guys we?re doing a good job and should be consulted. We raised a number of issues that the wise man finally talked about yesterday.

The issue of “import substitution”: damn we have been talking about this for a long time – if you don?t have the hops then substitute the fucken hops with something. Well if the problem was a lack of forex to buy the hops – then why not just let market, forces supply and demand, control the forex market – thank God the wise man discarded the forex auction system yesterday for a “Tradable Foreign Currency System”.

In the corner we have been angered by all these issues of fresh farm invasions: I mean RBZ has been giving people money (FOREX) to import seeds to grow hops and what do some fellas do? Destroy the whole crop – our precious priceless hops. God Bless the wise man yesterday for acknowledging how this is affecting a stable beer market.

This is what we Scuddies have always been talking about… please let the hops grow we have spent a lot of forex importing high quality hop seeds. We have always been complaining at the Scud about these weekend farmers – we drink with these guys and they invite us for weekend braais at their farms – honestly with the amount of trillions that have been spent on these so called A2 farmers we felt it was time to turn to the communal guys to grow hops.

Oh God bless the wise man for having the same vision with us – villagers will now be financed to grow hops. I am happy about the policy statement it gives me so much hope finally we will be getting a constant supply of our favorite beers. And oh by the way if you worried about the lack of tin for bottle tops the wise man gave a strong warning to those who are sitting on our tin mining prospecting rights to use them or lose them?damn now I can finally drink a Zambezi.

11 Replies to “There is hope (for hops) after all”

  1. My friend, you sound fascinated with hops-based beverages eh? But to be honest, I never thought I would miss the taste of a cold Zambezi – but as I always say, there’s loads at Tipp’s haha.

  2. I must say I only realised how tasty Zambezi is when I had to drink Castle the other nite.. You never know what you have till its gone… Cry for my beloved Zambezi

  3. Guys, you are complaining when you get to drink those things. I’m stuck in Toronto drinking Miller and Bud you can’t imagine. I know some say kuti iribho but I must tell you even if you’re drinking Castle, ENJOY IT! Kana Black Label chaiyo I miss it coupled with chando, Jose Im homesick

  4. Joe Black, this is one of the few times you have actually said something sensible. Reeling from the effects of Zambezi last night I know now that the fault is not Delta, its the Scud & Nanny. Every other local establishment has stock of the precious brand.

  5. I wish I had written such an insightful and thought-out piece Trev, but Andy wrote this – I do not have such a grasp on economics myself.

    From now on I’ll let Andy deal with the big issues, and I’ll just complain about sport and nightclubs 🙂

    But the situation seems to be normalising, because they currently have Zambezi…

  6. Its amazing how some gents reveal their intelligence in secret but while we’re all swigging brown bottles at the Scud and Nanny they put on the “Joe Average IQ” appearance. (The made up name is no reflection on the websites designer.

  7. Andy the Scud and Nanny Governor:yeah the hops is here bt its coming at a price zwd75k is just too much!!!! u wont be seeing me in that corner anymore

    are there two types of hops one for Zambezi and one for bohlingers because still dont have bohlingers in scud and nanny!!!

  8. Liar jigga, I know we’re having a few Friday night, and after getting over the initial shock, the stalwarts will be there.

    yeah, the price scared me away yesterday after work, but I’ll make another attempt.

  9. i am going to book cafe for stand up comedy today. andy u said you are gonna come, i hope the beer prices there are reasonable

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