The “faster, faster” dating model

Well… ZESA went (it was a genuine technical problem) this morning in our hood so me and a couple of workmates decided to go by Scoop at Avondale and get some ice cream and frozen yoghurts. So this one lady from work starts complaining about how people are modernising this whole asking out women issue – she said guys have this “faster faster model”.

Apparently there is a dude who is asking her out: she smaaks the dude but doesn?t want to make it too easy – she is saying if she just goes out with this guy, she will not be valued: ?easy come easy go?.

Anyway the whole discussion went on and on about how long one should take to say YES, and if people have the chance of saying YES these days, or you probably find yourself bonking or being bonked before you even know it, you’re going out with this person, or ever actually said yes we can go out. We agreed however that there is no set standard and people fall in love differently?

I really felt sorry for my workmate: I mean all she needs is to feel loved, to feel “asked out” and to grow into a relationship. But brothers these days the minute you play hard to get they be gone! Remember in high school how we used to really ask out gals??

I mean thinking about it when was the last time our ladies have had some dude who has come up and asked them out and waited for an answer or it?s all about brothers wanting to “pull fast ones”. When was the last time our sisters have actually been able to answer and say YES (ndada hangu). I am sure my workmate is not the only sister craving for some guy who will really come over and ask out (boyz kunyatso nyenga) and sweep her off her feet ? give her a chance to say YES.

Maybe we’re living in a modern world were time is not on our side and you cant be fishing one fish for a long time? Or maybe we communicating better via email, cell phones etc. I dunno but I just feel it?s not the same anymore and do I see all you sisters nodding your heads?

21 Replies to “The “faster, faster” dating model”

  1. Hmmmm please tell her ifshe likes him then don’t waste time playing around with him.

    Sister to sister, these days men don’t muck about i don’t know if they were told the world is about to end, but if you play with his feelings you’re asking for trouble.

    Say yes, theres no time frame on these things

  2. But Tino… if the guy really whats her badly why cant he be patient.. he hasnt been told kuti NO. I think you ladies areputting man on some pedestal

  3. I am soo nodding my head, being a subscriber to the Why Can’t a Brotha Wait club. Seriously, sometimes we women need to be eased gently into the relationship – brothas should really stop tryin to make us dive in.
    On the other hand, sister’s gotta keep a cap on waiting time too… guess it’s all about balance.

  4. Hello love, welcome to

    Why *should* a brotha wait? Look, if you like the guy, and the obviously likes you enough to date you, why mess around and play hard to get blah blah.

    If brothers wait, we’ll get impatient and BOOM move on…

  5. faster faster ndizvo! koChilo urikupi, ndiyo staira yako manje. bruther doesn’t even mess, either you in or out babie, that’s his steelo!

  6. Tino, please don’t start it’s too early in the morning!

    I must say though, varume we also need a little patience. Remember how we used to act back in the day? I know I’ve written my fair share of love poems and long letters/emails. I know I’ve spent more than I should on midnight phone calls…

    Where is the love…? What happened to us?

  7. You were a romantic, but as love treated you more and more unfairly you grew more cynical with each failed endeavour. Now you just dont have the time or energy to put in the effort anymore.

    Thats why you can’t bothered to put in the effort into the relationships you have or had, because in your heart they are doomed to failure.

    Am I right or am I right?

  8. i think these days us girls are now taking our time to say yes coz we have been lied to too many times, so its not always a matter of playing hard to get we are just a bit more cautious.
    This dating thing is hard hey and guys really do need to be patient.

  9. Jade you have a excellent point woman need to grow into a relationship… I am sure i makes one feel appreciated more. And Joe with the faster faster model you think twice abt writing a poem because it came too easy you didnt grow into the love…. hahahaha. and as Tino rightfully says faster fatser relationships are doomed for failure

  10. Uhmm, for those who know (or the one who knows) I am still a romantic, thank you very much!

    Besides, we used to write letters like this, and that was just terrible!

    I’m just saying people, there comes a point when the dilly-dallying on the part of the ladies just gets….silly. Can a brother be blamed for givin up in those circumstances?

  11. WOOOOOOW, that’s the funniest thing I have seen in a long time, the whole office is hooting right now.

    Now this is what love is all about, not you weak brothers and your “Doh, I love the way that top looks on you”

  12. two cliches come to mind in all this, good things happen to those who wait, and patience is a virtue. If he is reallyinterested in you, he will do all it takes to win you over. and like i’m always saying to my sisters, if he isn’t nyengereraring you now rudo rwacho rwuchirikupisa, what will he be like a few months down the line when he has you?

  13. Hey Joe, this is a ghost from the past. Back in the day one had a full term to be patient. You would not go for two terms uchinyenga chikoso chimwe. If nothing had materialised by end of term you would give it the final push and pull all the stops during the holiday period. If nothing happened then in term two you would be chasing the next gero on the block. Now that there we no longer have terms and holidays we don’t have time to be patient cause you can spend the rest of your life waiting. Saka if you realy “Like” someone go for it before arohwa nebhazi pamarobots. Anyway Jo hows tricks & where u @?

  14. BroLidza ndeipi, long time daddy! Muno muHarare makoso arikunetsa nenyaya yekuda kunyengwa. They forget kuti vakawanda too bad.

    Besides, who says every relationship is that Great Love? Why do they wanna date for marriage, instead of dating for dating’s sake?

    Say yes, darn it

  15. A little romance never hurt anyone. Say it with flowers, take her to a nice dinner and ask her out. Dont buy her Killipies and Coke and take her to a football match, then ask her to be your girl!

  16. the faster, faster makes people lazy, coz they don’t have to aspire to anything if its not handed to them on their lap 🙂

  17. You guys arent serious. In todays modern world you actually spend more time with the younger lady than yuo realise. Before you had to wait for after school or the weekend to see madam. You couldnt phone after 6pm because if her mdara phoned it was a danger. Now we have email, rustygate, msn messenger, mobiles etc. The way I see it, if we are liking each other too good what are we waiting for. Mickey mouse games belong to the days of SWV & Blackstreet (where much poetry inspiration was derived).
    thats my take on things

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