When is an ex really an ex?

A couple of chaps have criticised me for having a sort of traffic-circle scenario with my ex-girlfriends. Apparently I rotate without ever leaving the circle, and really should pick my ass up and move on down the road. Huh?

Which begs the question: when is an “ex” really an EX. And by ex, I mean this to include either a full relationship, an occassional splackavelli or even (but just barely) a one-night shag. Is it wrong to play around with your “Previous”? Or is it a case of once a shag always a shag?

Looking at this the other way, is it okay to date a friend’s ex? How do you go about it? Do you ask for permission first, just in case your friend is doing the round-robin thing (or maybe still has feelings)? Or do you not even bother going there thinking it’s offside?

I don’t think it’s offside, really, once she/he is an ex, I believe it’s fair game for anyone *with* game 🙂

37 Replies to “When is an ex really an ex?”

  1. Uhm, treading on dangerous ground here…I suppose it’s okay since you’re allowed to date other people I suppose. But your friend? I wouldn’t, it’s simply…not done.

    And, uhm, should I be taking offence?

  2. My my, aren’t we touchy today? You do know there is no way this story will surpass friday’s in response, right? People must be shagging each other left right and middle

  3. Nothing wrong with a shag as long as its good & the chick doesnt expect me to become her boyfriend because we have had our fun. Coming back to Joe Black, depending on how they broke up its all good man you can date the ex. Definition of the ex, the day you say to the brothers I want nothing to do with that chick. Ipapo manje she becomes free mandela

  4. Guys… pple will always shag true but I cant stand a friend wanting to shag my ex. Imagine your ex telling your friend how useless you were. Obviously your ex (especially girls) will say nasty things abt you… And honestly guys how can you as my friend want to hit where I hit… tofa nechirwere chimwe here. And Joe abt shaggin exes well it will always happen… but dnt get jealous when you find out you not the only source for her pleasure…

  5. nyaya yemaex inonetsa iyi guys and i cant comment on tht one, but tru andy they will definately be getting it from sumwhere as well since you wont be in the picture. however friends who go after any of my ex’s inyoka nembudzi, havaende kudenga!!

  6. Why? saka you guys think everywhere you’ve touched is inaccessible to everyone you know? A bit selfish and egotistical isn’t it?

    Once you’re out, it’s fair game, hehe

  7. Jojo don’t be so pedantic, these things are looked at in more than black and white. It is not as simple as you are trying to make it out to be. I would not want this happening to me.

  8. JoeBlack before u go for your friend’s ex you should think 1. how close are to him, 2, how long have you known him and 3. whether you could live without him as a friend, and then proceeded — with extreme caution.
    friendship is all about loyalty and going after my ex even if i tell you to go ahead you are breaking tht loyalty coz chances are there are still emotional ties with my ex

  9. Well put, Jigga. I suppose this does shut out any opposition, but also leaves a pertinent question:

    Why is it when we are asked, whether by homies or others, whether the ex is now Free Mandela is fair game for anyone willing, we act like it’s okay and we don’t care.

    Why not just say “No, I’m still tapping that, dawg, and she means so much to me because she’s free sex when i want it / I still love|like her”


  10. Because, silly, noone is that nice, and especially for guys (I am not starting anything, okay) your egos get in the way and you don’t want to be seen like a softie.

    I don’t really care who my ex goes with after me, but if it’s a friend of mine, she will also soon be one of my exes!

  11. Well how many gals out there have dawged it with the whole Dogg Pound just to get back to an ex… and as bfr guys will walk out a hero (shagmasters) and the gal loose.

  12. Strange, a friend and I were having this discussion just this morning. People should have closure. It’s one thing to have the occasional phone call every six months to find out the health status of said ex (life expectancy of 33 and all that), but this nyaya of always having ma open chapter, one foot in the door, what’s all that about. Kana marambana people should just go their separate ways and leave it be. Leave yourself open to new and different experiences, not constantly harping on about what was.

    As for going out with your friend’s ex, it all depends on how tight you are. If let’s say Joe were to go out with Fee, that would definitely warrant a red card.

  13. the thought of you being my sons step father would kill me, otherwise I really dont see the problem. This closure stuff is nonsense, we are all grown up and should be able to determine whether its your best interest to tap that ass

  14. i guess living in the zesaless city lights of harare, resources are few and far between, which for me would be the only explanation as to why you all feel the need to recycle the same material.

  15. and for the record, trevor, i have often found that people are either lying to you or to themselves when they use terms like ‘but’, however or otherwise. it’s either ok, or its not ok, you can’t qualify that.

  16. Okay, to put this to bed, and to come clean, I don’t think it’s right to be dating your friends’ exes either…

    Not that mind was changed, but I just came to realise how it would feel…

  17. ex is ex no two ways. Can warusta warutsa let the dogs pick up the mess or worse still put the rug over the miss and close the nose, it definitely will turn out to be cavier to someone

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