Whatever happened to “Britney or Christina?”

Colombians - twisty“Hey Joe, just wondering, Beyonce or Shakira? Just saw their vid and thought of you. If you had to choose, which would it be. Death is not an option or any other cop out. I think the video does well to level the playing field don’t you think. So Beyonce or Shakira? Think well and hard about this. No rash decisions. Consider every variable from…………. well, don’t want to create any bias so I shall keep schtum. Oh,and for the record, the vid and the song suck.”

Let me get this clear from the start – I agree about the song sucking, and the video is pretty ordinary. Lax production values, lyrics are dumb, ass sells records etc. Right, disclaimer done.

I would do them both, if that’s what you were asking! If your question was talent-based, I’d take Shakira any day. You can’t really compare them though, because dance-wise, Shakira really does more of that belly-dance thingy while Beyonce is more in the hip-hop/pop spectrum.

Voice-wise, it’s a matter of taste. B can sing, we all know that, but her voice has always really just grated on my tits. Saccharine-sweet with no character, just another RnB singer, then. Shakira is harder to fathom, I guess that growl sounds sweet in Spanish, but it’s never done anything for me. At least it’s got character.

Body-wise, I rather fancy a bit of Shakira. Her figure seems to make more sense, doesn’t it? I mean, Beyonce is all tits and ass like whoa (and she doesn’t like clothes either), but Shakira is a little more well-shaped while still having all the necessaries in place.

So the answer to your question, Galadriel, is this:

Shakira Shakira. With a tub of chocolate ice-cream and pair of fluffy handcuffs, please.

39 Replies to “Whatever happened to “Britney or Christina?””

  1. Well put Black. Can’t say i saw that coming. I am surprised. Beyonce has dumps in her trunk. I thought thighs trump truth telling hips anyday. Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t picking sides. If I was a lesbian, neither would tickle my fancy.

  2. Glad to be of service!

    Although, it’s funny how my most lucid and considered thoughts are about who I’d do between Shakira and Beyonce. Sad.

  3. come on people, beyonce all the way, jb imagine beyonce doing that move on you when she shakes her ass like crazy, cant remember what video it is…yeah right gala, so if u were a lesbian who would tickle your fanny, sorry fancy

  4. no doubt! whats the point of having some girl who constantly says “oops i did it again”

  5. Actually G.R.A.W. if we go back to the real days of Brit v Chris, I’d have to go Britney.

    Remember how Christina was just this skinny little blonde (yes, like Brit was too) but she was like, a bunch of hockey-sticks glued together?

    She made me sad, I’d rather feed her a steak sandwich than, ehm, russian sausage 🙂

    Of course, I wouldn’t touch Britney with a barge-pole, now.

  6. well dude my first sight of christina was from her video. so she scarred my life in all the right ways, but you know if the truth be told, ‘m not too much into white chocolate that much, i premfer caramel or just plain chocolate

  7. What’s happening to you I can’t believe you would choose a latina over one of the sisters. With a big butt. Pathetic

  8. Hey, if the sister’s not holding it down, I have to take what’s best.

    No matter the flavour, athough to be honest I’ll take that shit like jelly-babies, any flavour will do!

  9. hey sistahs, tell me something do y’all really get peeved off when a brother chooses a lighter shade of brown or goes all white.

  10. Back to GRAW’s enquiry, the problem is that you dont get enough male ethnics or whites going for black. all we have are the black dudes and if we lose them we aint got nothing, Comprende!!! If we had all other colours all over us like white on rice, we would not really be bothered. Tell me, other than the odd white male black female couple, how many ethnic males (japanese, indian, latino, chinese etx) vs black female couples do you know? One nighters do not count. I am talking COMMITTED. Basically, black females are screwed to hell and back. No non black mae wants us and the blacks themselves are wandering. Bottom line, we are running out of mates.

  11. as in would u be able to step up t o any guy, of any color and say “whose your father” i.e i am here and I have what it takes to rcok ya world

  12. Hey, you think this is the 50s? Where the heck you been, y’all know it’s okay for you to step up, handiti?

    Living in ancient times vasikana imimi………

  13. you see thats were most sistahs go wrong, you wait for a brother to holla at ya! times there are changing, and if you see a brother that you feel then you gotta go for your own!

  14. for all those women chasing down men, one sentence: he’s just not that into you. Men have been hunting for aeons down the millenia, if he wants you, he will holla at you. Ladies, you are worthy of being lusted after. Any man worth his weight in salt will know that. And this nonsense that men perpetuate about them being scurred is just that, nonsense. if you dont believe me, how many hwindis or garden boys have stepped up to offer you their special unwashed brand of hwindi loving, when he can see full well that your shit is tight and that he has no chance in hell of getting you. If he wants you badly enough, Armageddon alone wouldnt stop him.

  15. thats nonsense AC, u cant put a hwindi into this category, fair enuff if a man wants to hook up with you he will do it, but dont you think we are tired of chasing you down and whispering good for nothings in your ears, we want u, yes but whats with the attitude u give me when i holla at ya, u decide to play hard to get when deep down inside you want me as well, thats all unneccesary, and when i tune to cut your line you start saying i was nt worth the effort in the first place. SIstahs just cant make up their minds when they need to! But dont get me wrong, i love me a sistah big time, but i really cant be bothered with playing hide and seek on ya ass! so if a mzungu item jols along and she wants a taste of africa then why the hell not! It has its perks, she will probably end up intoducing me to the family and the bali will give me shares in his business coz i am dating his daughter, when we get married they will pay for the wedding… so its instant income my way instead of me been charged damages and lobola and then paying for the whole wedding!

  16. But GRAW, you have qualified the statement though. It’s not the hunt that you are objecting, it’s the playing hard to get, there is a difference. Answer me this, how many women who have chased you down did you have a long and meaningful relationship with?

  17. Joe Black dated someONE for two years….Nigga Please!!!
    Next youll be claiming it was a “long and meaningful relationship”

  18. I think two years is actually impressive this day and age.

    So how about the action last night. I even watched some of it? Would have been heart breaking had it not been for how hilarious it all was. How come you aint already got a blog up abut it Joe? My sympathies.

  19. Tigz, sounds like someone watched White Chicks on Five on Sunday and enjoyed it. NIGGA PLEASE!!! 😉

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