1,2,3,29 and counting

oh JapanSo, in one of my (rare but) more lucid moments, I got to thinking, how many is too many? Knocking boots partners I mean.

Coz you get to a certain age where you have eaten many Christmases and it’s apparent that you are going to have a ‘history’ so to speak. (p.s. some of us are at the point of no return where you are celebrating fifth annual 25th birthdays instead of for example, your regular old 30th birthday).

At which point do you own up to the fact that not only are you the village bicycle, you are the recycled parts of said village bicycle? Through no fault of your own, of course, there are vast alcohol infused gaps where all the faces just blur into one giant orga…..nic mass.

And furthermore, when you hook up with someone new, does one dare ask what the other’s previous misdemeanours have been? Because that is like walking around blinfolded in some Afghani minefield.

Chances are at best they are going to be economical with the truth, at worst, blow you out of the water by telling you a vicious unpalatable truth that you are not prepared to hear, so eloquently phrased by the inimitable Jack Nicholson… ‘The truth? You can’t handle the truth’.

So my question is, how many IS too many? And when do you stop taking a ‘head’ count?

41 Replies to “1,2,3,29 and counting”

  1. I must say you have posed a good question AC? But then again would you rather have the marathon runner (someone who has been having it for five years every day with one dude) or the sprinter (the one who doesnt commit and does so many dashes) – and will one day convert to be marathon runner with you! But then again Carl Lewis never became a marathon runner

  2. Now, AT, you are doing a Jesus: answering (or better yet evading) one question with another. And your answer would be…?

  3. Well I cant exactly give you numbers AC like 1 or 29 – obviously everyone wld want low numbers.

    My point is the numbers can be low but the mileage can be high!

    So I wld rather go for low mileage and high numbers – in simple terms.
    I wld rather go for the sprinter who has had a copule of dashes and hasnt committed to one guy for five years and then break up – Dealing with a marathon runner is like dealing with a divorcee!

  4. Another question for all y’all. At what point do you stop keeping tabs? There must be one right. And if you do keep count, what is the point unless you can name each one in the right order?

  5. To add to Gala’s question, once you have kept a tab, do you release the entire album, or just the greatest hits, once you are facing the spanish inquisition?

  6. Nicely put Aefro!!! Why deprive your audience? I say make like Madonna and have a “hits of the 90s” and then a hits of the “Naughties”.

  7. I’ve lost count.

    Besides, why ask the questions anyway? Look, if you’re gonna ask your chick, how many dudes have you slept with, expect anything from 1 to 1000.


  8. so squire that would be zero then? and they say only women can ‘regain’ their virginity

  9. Ah, i see someone else is a fan of the court scene in A Few Good Men….

    Eish bra, once you can use said fingers and toes, i’d say you’re treading deep waters…hehehe. You could try and swing it in your favour, argue these encounters were mere practice runs building up to the big day…you…lol, i should have been born a guy i would have had so much game, lol

  10. I dont know about ya’ll, but I only have the 10 fingers, and 10 toes, and there aint no abacus in my house. so I guess that would be a good place to stop.

  11. You know, I think a head count may only be possible if you’re still on one hand (and I don’t mean PALMela, Squire).

    I think it’s easier to remember specific occasions, like “I once did it in the back of a pickup that was travelling on the highway” and try connect events with faces, and hence names.

    Trying to think “I’ve done it with so, and so, and so, and PALMela, and so…” will never work.

    But again, why COUNT?

  12. Why count? Because you can. Because men have been marking notches above their bed posts since time immemorial, how can you prove your stud status if you dont have any relevant statistics at hand, so to speak. Even if some statistics will err on the side of flights of fantasy.

  13. Once you start wondering whether u’ve had too many, then u’ve probably had too many to own up, by which time you cant really do a head count anyway coz u probably lost count…

  14. the word still assumes that he could before. vamwe venyu vane ma certificate 6 to get 5 ‘O’ levels. Tigz, jokes.

  15. the main problem isnt really so much that there are too many (whence comes in the little black book) but trying to remember offhand the sequence that the various wannabes paraded through your existence. The first and the last are about the only ones that can be remembered with any great certainty. The devil is in the details as they say.

  16. fair enough u can count, but how do u factor in drunken encounters? Factor in a young 30% for good measure! He he he

  17. and another ‘it just happened’ 30%, and then the ones that you will never admit to in public make up a fair percentage too. Or the ones that you make a 180 turn when you see them walking towards you. Man, this is a whole post-worthy rant all on its own: the good, the bad, and the criminally ugly.

  18. So let’s just say whatever number you come up with, add a healthy bit of ‘interest’ to cover the ones you can’t remember or whose memories are repressed!

  19. Walking around blindfolded in an Afghani minefield does not sound so intelligent to me.

  20. where does intelligence come into it when it comes to relationship? It’s like normal service is suspended especially in the first flushes of rhomenzi (romance).

  21. Tigz has said it all – once you start countin you know in your heart you have a problem.

  22. Hi, I’m Andy Tee, I’m a sex addict
    Hi Andy Tee! (unanimous response in manner of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting)

  23. My quotes of the week:

    In this life, one should try everything once except incest and line dancing. It is an excellent rule, as I remarked to my mother in bed last night.

    The definition of a Harare virgin: an ugly girl under 12 who can run faster than her brother.

  24. Sex addict: there is no such thing. They are called healthy human beings, don’t listen to her Andy Tee it’s good stuff!

  25. Please JB, you live in Zim, you have no rights, other than the right to be beaten up by the cops as you go about your daily business. Or the right not to have running water or electricity in your house for extended periods. Or the right to starve to death because Joseph Made got into a plane and saw that the crop was good.

  26. That’s fighting talk where I come from, lady! As I said before, it’s easy to say those things all the way from Asia, isn’t it?

  27. are you implying that we automatically forfeit the right to comment becos we don’t live at home??

  28. No that’s not what I’m implying at all.

    All i’m saying is it’s far easier to comment without all the attendant….hazards.

  29. Comment is free as they say, but action comes with a very heavy price. Ask those journalists who have died in the line of duty.

  30. Hey Chicque, what’s with the picture. Am I missing something? I can’t telll what it is or says. Que Pasa??!!

  31. It reads, and I quote ‘Wet towel for an adults buttocks’. One of many little such foibles that keeps me going in this place.

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