Dude, keep your Vic Falls, and I’ll keep my Harare

Fuck this hot, dead, joyless chick-thin town. I want to go home.

22 Replies to “Dude, keep your Vic Falls, and I’ll keep my Harare”

  1. It could be worse, you could be in Triangle on the sugar estates. Where the only totty would be the labourers’ gap-toothed saggy-breasted ashy-skinned dried-out-by-too-many-births wives. And their heridan daughters.

  2. Gap-toothed saggy-breasted ash-skinned? My type, baby!

    True Lisa ndashaya, but I’m not being a baby. I really, truly wanna go home. I can’t find a fucking potato salad in this town.

  3. Gees, what kind of mutant potato salad do you have in Zim that engages in such nefarious activities? Things cant be that tight on the woman front that you would have to resort to POTATO SALAD!

  4. Come back, i have it on good authority that certain people, that will remain nameless, are missing you….oh, and its a lovely, liveable 21 degrees in the Sunshine City with lots of cumulonimbus clouds to give us some shade 🙂

  5. A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?”
    “Of course my child. What may I do for you?”

    “Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”

    The priest answered: “I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn
    you: I will not lie.”
    “With your honest face, Father, no one will question you”
    When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
    The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
    “From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”

    The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”
    “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is,
    to date, unused.”

    Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father.” Next!

  6. A Male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan
    when they noticed a whaling ship.

    The male whale recognised it as the same ship that had harpooned his
    father many years
    earlier.

    He said to the female whale, “Let’s both swim under the ship and blow
    out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to
    turn over and sink.”

    They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

    Soon however, the whales realised the sailors had jumped overboard
    and were swimming to the safety of shore.

    The male was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the
    female, “let’s swim after them and gobble them up before they reach
    the shore.”

    At this point, the male whale realised the female was becoming
    reluctant to follow him.

    “What’s the matter darling?”

    “Look love,” she said, “I went along with the blow job, BUT

    “I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen.”

  7. re: post 10, unless he is a Catholic priest when he uses his instrument on pre-pubescent boys.

    p.s. I am Catholic.

  8. UPDATE: Actually, there was croupier training at the casino this weekend, so Saturday night Wild Thing was … Wild. And there were lots of Things.

    Marked improvement, but a flash in the pan. Back to doldrums. Ho hum.

  9. Looks like the secret admirer will forever remain secret… we can therefore (and shall) only speculate.

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