Yeah, I said it. The UEFA wooden spoon is a shitty little competition, a footballing Sahel where misspent ambition and delusions of grandeur go to die.
I realised this as Juventus, that iconic establishment of world football, was being destroyed 4-1 by Fulham (Fulham!) in said shitty competition. The Italian “giants” went down with barely a peep, and all this after taking the lead against the mighty fecking Fulham. Snore.
Then Liverpool, my Liverpool (oh, Liverpool), we who were kicked out of the vaunted Champions’ League, thrashed Lille 3-0 at home. I chose to go to bed early, rather than endure the comedic stylings of Lucas Leiva and the Falling Tower of Babel.
And people are celebrating like we’ve slain a footballing giant.
This tournament doesn’t matter. It’s like Division One football – you know it’s there, but you don’t know who’s winning it, neither do you care.
I remember when we (sigh, oh when we) were in the top tier, I never even bothered to watch Thursday night football cos it was meaningless to me; it was like that third cousin you know is overseas but don’t really give a feck about, and don’t even have on your Facebook.
Now I have even less incentive to care, cos my team is in it and that hurts me so, so, so bad.
At least I have The Stormers.