In today’s Rumour Mill: Joe Thomas coming to Zim

The other JoeToday’s wild rumour and allegation has it that Joe, i.e. Joe “My Name is Joe” Thomas (yes, the other Joe) is coming to Zimbabwe.

He’s arriving on the 7th, and playing a concert on Saturday the 9th. As this would be a Zimbabwe Tourism Authority thing, it would probably be at the Rainbow Towers / Sheraton, and would cost $100 million to get in.

This is the same ZTA who brought us Luciano (minus Luciano’s band), threatened some Beyonce and, admittedly, mentioned Joe Thomas in the paper a while back.

We wait with bated breath.

Spotter’s badges: dhlaks

69 Replies to “In today’s Rumour Mill: Joe Thomas coming to Zim”

  1. This from the same people who gave us an agricultural minister touring fields by helicopter and proclaiming bumper harvests. And his successor crying for the mother of all harvests. yes, of course Joe is coming to Zim. And April 1 hasnt even come around yet.

  2. Lies, all lies! I fell off my chair when i saw the article in the paper, what nonsense!

    Pigs WILL fly when Joe Thomas flies into town!

  3. Joe and Vimbai if I was you I wld go ahead and buy a front row seat and enjoy the cheapest Joe show ever.

    And of cause also watch out for the pigs flying coz that will be a sight!

  4. So, word on the street is that Simba Makoni has thrown his name into the presidential hat. The plot doth thicken like lepers in a hot tub.

  5. Is there any chance that Zim will have a different president at the end of the year? JB and Vimbai, are you going to do the responsible thing and actually vote? Or are you going to pull a fast one and Paris Hilton it, I forgot to register?

  6. Iwe Gala have you actually EVER voted? Lol.

    Anyway, since my name was inexplicably struck off the roll in 2005, I haven’t re-registered, actually. Something to do with proof of residence blah blah, couldn’t really be arsed.

    Not excusing myself, I just gave in to sloth and apathy. I suck.

  7. Yep, voted for general elections here twice without fail f*~k you very much. 🙂 The owner of the residence where I reside usually tells us who she wants us to go for. That way the rent remains relatively cheap. Nevere got the chance to vote in Zim although, I doubt that I would have. Probably pull a JB and blame it on lack of being arsed. Would probably be safer not to try.


    The Zimbabwean striker has moved to Eastlands for an initial fee of £3.87m, with further payments to be made should he make 75 starts for his new club.

    Learn not to miss planes.

  9. …and Sven will obviously not make him start all those number of games

    Those Eastlanders are surely shrewd fuckers………

  10. Well, if he had any foot left surely he must have shot it all off by now. Chivanhu chakaomarara vasikana.

  11. Am I being overly sensitive by taking umbrage at this gem from the BBC about Simba Makoni:

    ‘He could be living up to his name, Simba, which means lion in Swahili. ‘

    No mention of the fact that Simba means strength in Shona which would be more relevant in an article about a Zimbabwean. It’s like all darkies must be pigeon-holed into neatly fitting compartments. When did Swahili become relevant to that part of Southern Africa?

  12. ….zvanzi Benjani fell asleep at the airport,thats why he missed those 2 flights,can you believe that?

    don`t know whether to cry or laugh……

    and those BBC punks think the whole of africa speaks one language,fcuk that ignorant bastards……..

  13. You know its a question of when for someone to cook up a conspiracy theory kuti akaroiwa.

    But he has really been done a number: 75 starts?? that is at least 2 seasons before he can see the rest of that loot. And at his ripe age of 29, and all these young bucks nipping at his heels, he might be wishing that like the disciples his flesh had been stronger.

  14. Inplain English, Who is Benjani? I am guessing its to do with football but not sure which type, african or english. Que pasa.

  15. oh, that 3.87 million squid is not his dear, it’s just for Pompey. For sure, missing those flights cost them around 6 million – a lot of change. I love it.

    Gala, if you haven’t heard of Benjani, you may as well forget Zimbabwe and that you were ever a citizen.

  16. Andy Tee, there is no legitimacy in that Simba candidacy, you know he’s a plant to legitimazi what would otherwise be a blowout. It’s also a foil against potential opposition boycott.

    In other words … male cow excrement.

  17. History is cyclical. The Lion should remember the fates of people like Tekere and Mavhaire. The Great Uncle never forgets.

  18. Oh come on, after his marathon meetings with Uncle, you think he’s gone off the reservation?

    No chance, atumwa uyu. No rebellion there, trust me. Smoke and mirrors.

  19. I dont know. Look at the whole Tsholotsho debacle, there is definitely nascent rebellion within the ranks. His candidacy/candidature might be the usual state-sponsored opposition-vote splitting manouevre but it doesnt gloss over the genuine disgruntlement a lot of the cadres now nurture like a burning ember in their overfed-underexcercised hearts.


    I dont know why he would pick Zimbabwe of all places. I mean, surely Zim can’t afford this man and surely if it for tourism, when did ZIM have time to be thinking about tourism. Aint it got bigger fish to fry and what with the energy crisis… Oh, here’s a possible explanation, Joe Thomas was actually meant to be born Joe Moyo, had it not been for the slave trade. Maybe the guy just found out that he be of Zimbabwean descent and figured, visit the motherland and maybe make some money whilst at it. The guy certainly looks like he could be from Zim. 🙂

  21. Uhm, why do we give a fuck whether Jose has a “clear picture of Zimbabwe”? WIll it help him in his intelligent discourse with big-booty hoes? Etc blah blah

  22. Please make sure that the batteries in your camera are fully charged for your groupie session with the OTHER Joe.

    Aside: did you hook up with Alias after his aborted flight?

  23. Saka akasvika here? No mention in the Herald about it, so I am working on the assumption that there was a hitch coz they would have been crowing about their triumph.

  24. Oh yeah, I did meet Alias in Vic Falls. He flew to Harare after, and promptly fell off the face of the earth. White boy in Africa indeed.

    As for Jose, I have no idea where he is, I didn’t hang around the airport cos I was racing off to see Cameroun do the deed.

    Egypt is slick, yo. Those are some slick motherfuckers.

  25. You guys have far too much time on your hands :-). Joe’s here, he’s doing a gig. I’m not going. When you think about it’s a great deal for him. First class travel, hotels, all expenses = free holiday. Then he gets paid about USD40k (Luciano was paid 30k, and I think Joe would command more).

    ZTA makes a few hundred billion which should cover some of the expenses. But the “real aim” i..e. promotion of Zim and awareness doesn’t work at all. Doubt the story will get picked up by the major news services. Just done a search now on Google News and it’s only our papers who are covering the story. For those of you who are going enjoy

  26. You know, I must admit I’m gagging to see Joe in concert. I was a fan of his first album, and I wouldn’t mind 🙂

    But I’m not going either. Can’t be arsed.

  27. Joe Thomas pisses me off, he’s ALWAYS singing about other dude’s women and how he can love them better and the like. And when he DOES sing about his own woman, it’s ama-accusations of stuttering!

    Overall i am warried for the dude!

    PS Random question, but Joe, who’s your Valentine this year, mmmmh?

  28. Whoa, so I fell off the face of the earth “white boy in Africa” style?

    Maybe I’ve been in a place with no phones, internet, water, power for the past week? Find Mutoko on the map and then continue away from Harare on some mud vaguely resembling a road for another 30 minutes and that’s where I disappeared.
    My first opportunity to get onto the net since our chance meeting in the Falls, and I check the site only to get slagged. I’m back in Harare until Tuesday if you want to meet up to watch a match and grab a beer?

    Who the hell is Joe Thomas?

    Oh and poor poor Dr. Makoni- where to go from here eh? Expelled from the halls of power on his arse…

  29. See? It works, Alias. Hahaha. Welcome back to civilisation. Tomorrow’s a good day for drinking, you’ve got my number.

    Dude, you need to Google Joe Thomas. Really. Get out much? 🙂 And the whole Makoni thing is a sham.

  30. I’m currently in Newlands at a friend’s office but can only access Zim local web sites, so no Google for me.

    The sham is interesting nonetheless. Someone at the hospital was telling me that Mugabe will win the elections, then step down and hand the reigns of power to Makoni- see how isolated I was.

  31. Alias, if you are still ‘doing Africa’ in June, I too would like to request the pleasure of your company. 4 years away from the motherland its time to get back and get a dose of reality. So I should be around for about 3 weeks late June, when hell is stoking its fire here’s in Japan the temperatures are so insane. 41 degrees celcius and still people ask me ‘but Africa is hotter than this, surely?’

  32. Aw Eleanor,

    Unfortunately I think I leave Zim at the beginning of June. We’ll see though. I’d like to stay longer but I made a deal with someone who may be getting an engagement party (Most definitely not JOE) and she expects a timely return. I’ll let you know though.
    Jeez Japan sure roasts. Stay cool mademoiselle.

    Yes, do tell Mr. Black

    oh and Joe I wrote a little thing for my gnn page that includes a link to this site. I should have asked first but didn’t think until now. If you don’t want the international fame and fortune that comes with an acknowledgement from yours truly let me know and I’ll take it down.

  33. What do I care who/what links here … the more innocents infected with our particular brand of malaise the better.

    Interestingly, we’ve been steadily increasing in unique visitor-ness since the holidays. Already above normal for last year.

    I should have a donate button, shouldn’t I? 🙂

    /waves at all the anonymous strangers

  34. cool.

    If you’ve read it, I made mention of your obsession with me being white whilst in Africa… Funny little foreshadow of your comments above…

  35. Okay, now that explains the not knowing who Joe Thomas is. Alias, had to look behind my shoulder when I opened your page to make sure people didn’t think I was into some extremist sh*t. And in these here scary times, that is the last thing you want happening to ya. So from all the way across the pond in CANADA huh? Just wondering how you stumbled upon our boy, JB. Hope you dont feel too left out when this lot goes off on one of their rants in Shona. I know my brain shuts down when they get start (also with the football and the rugby). So what Museum you building in ZIm? And notice how I have manged to say all this without mentioning the white thing? But really, you really white? Coz I love white people!!! 🙂

    JB, looks like you made one hell of an impression. Maybe I should jump on a plane and see what the fuss is all about.

  36. Gala, I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned I’m white before. And if reading my stuff is extremist, you better be careful- I think your shadow is creeping up behind you. heheh

    I found this site doing some research for my trip if you could believe it or not. After reading some whacky stuff I felt the need to comment and so on and so forth.
    I’m not building a museum here but helping a doctor with a bunch of his projects, an HIV clinic and an orphanage both in Harare and the All Souls Mission Hospital in Mutoko

  37. SO CAN YOU ALL SPIT OUT AN APOLOGY TO THE ZTA!! If yu are half decent as you want the people to think , that is the best thing to do .. JOE came to Zim , wat you gonna say bout that now.. So Vimbai did yu fall off yo chair.. ndimi vanhu vanouraya Zimbabawe imi … maboorangoma evanhu .. muchinyarawo .. tourism and politics are two different things ,, ngochanikadzi yemunhu …

  38. so l have been to yo page Vimbai ,, yes yu have issues.. the ticket was 200million for yo own info not the 800mills yu ar talking about .. stop justfying the fact that yu trashed the ZTA , their promises and some gay ass promoters who promised yu beyonce are different pple…
    Heath Ledger was doing srugs and he died by his own sword …duh he was supposed to be a role model not and thats not behavior for the good unless thats yo stuff but judging from most of yo blogs , yu are doing the cheap drugs maybe yu shuld upgrade and die from them drugs then we can blog that yu died young so yu were a good person .. go to hell and get out of Zim if yu dont like it ….

  39. We have another version of that fool who was here a few short months ago. People like this have all the panache of an ice pick in the back of the head and should stick to the zimdaily/newzimbabwe forums where their brand of blithering targetless vitriol is most appreciated.

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