It’s a blessing the landing gear held

Now that I’m finally here, sipping a beer by the pool at Ilala Lodge, I can’t help but think back on my flight yesterday. It’s fun dissing that MA60 plane from afar, but when you’re sitting in that shit taking off, all the religion comes flooding back.

I’m serious though. I ain’t never prayed like I did, sitting in seat 1A right NEXT TO THE DAMN PROPELLER!! Now I know why this thing takes so long to get here – the props don’t turn at a constant rate, the things are drunk, revving up and down, wings wobbling, stomachs churning.

And the landing? God. This pilot couldn’t get his final turn right, so he had to do a series of wobbly turns to correct. I swear I saw my life flashing before my eyes as this rusty bucket dropped to the ground, bounced, landed and bounced again, then finally settled.

But now I’m here, sipping beer by the pool, writing this. I’m never climbing those five steps into that black hole of Chinese-made airplane again.

It was like the Luna Park ride from hell.

26 Replies to “It’s a blessing the landing gear held”

  1. he he he he he he he I guess you dislike looking out pawindow and seeing the propeller? Were you a scared little girl? Sorry.

  2. And what is even better is that they have put in an order for more of those planes. That should really get AirZim ready for 2010 and all the tourists they keep talking about.

  3. There’s no way they’ll get happy custom with those Modern Ark 60s. Oh by the way, they’re buy 2 get 1 free 🙂 Scared little girl? Hell yeah.

  4. Joe, you better shut the f*** up right now before you jinx the hell out of your ass. You still have to get back to Harare.

    PS: I am impressed that you flew to Vic Falls. Who footed that bill then? Your client?

  5. With the recent wave of price increases (no arrest warrants issued for these ones) its about 90million I think for that flight. Its now about 450 million to fly to the U.K. So there is a lot of coughing up involved nowadays for any kind of flight, even on death Air Death Trap.

  6. Don’t know exactly, looks like almost 30 million on my ticket, and I’m assuming that’s one way.

    But yeah, I think I read about new prices somewhere, I’ll check for ya Alias.

    Gala, if I’m not flying back in a Boeing I’m taking a bus to Skies, then Blue Arrow back home. Never again, I tell you.

  7. lol I can just imagine Joe with his head between his legs in the crash position all through the flight. Luna Park was always a horror for me.

  8. Never had the pleasure myself. Only got to go to the show if my mother had a work stand and even then, we would have to sit through the f***ing show jumping. Also took a packed lunch, imagine, never mind some candy floss or whatever people had there. Towards the end it was watching the fireworks in a car parked outside the sheraton.

  9. I took that flight 4 weeks ago and mate, i have never said so many Hail Marys in such a short space of time! If you squealed like a girl when the plane hit turbulence, you are excused coz eish…

    It was a mistake to take the window seat coz that meant i could see the “drunken” propellors…lets just say i was more than relieved to see the Boeing 747 on the return flight, can i get an Amen?

  10. Amen Vim!!!!! I remember the time I took that flight, it missed its landing position twice.The pilot kept on apologising giving turbulance as an excuse. LOL!!!!!!

    Joe take the bus bra

  11. I’ma take that bus. Vim, I had no idea when the (surprisingly attractive and pleasant) check0in lady gave me seat 1A.

    I thought she was into me. But nooooooooooo. Bitch set me up.

    Bus ndizvo. Gala, those are my niece and nephew, the most beautifulest chillun in the world.

  12. Sucker. Couldn’t see beyond the humps and lumps.

    Niece and nephew. Phew, was worried you got a bit careless there. Wonder what kind of baby father you would make.

  13. ‘Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world’ the great Yeats once said. JB plus offspring equals Satan plus establishing another infernal dominion. No offense JB but I think sobriety is a key element in child rearing. Ask Britney.

  14. What kind of world do we live in when the lesser of two evils is a dumb ass like Federline. Those children don’t stand a chance in hell.

  15. Ingerlund through to the finals. *sighs wearily*. Smell of successful defense of title *stabs self in thigh repeatedly*

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