So here we are, then. On the other side. I guess we made it through.
We survived the sudden thunderstorms and the wet roads. We lived through the binge-drinking and over-eating. We did the partying, the sleepless nights and one-night stands, the hangovers and the bangovers.
And now it’s 2012, and we’re all broke as fuck.
Seriously, what is it about the Holidays that makes us spend like we’re millionaires? It’s all a trick I tell you, they mind-fuck us into spending more than we can, then count the profits as we die inside at the beginning of Jan.
Like seriously, whose idea was it to put a CABS swipey-thing in the Keg? Goddamnit, even if you run out of cash on New Year’s Eve, you still think oh wait, there’s a bit of money in the card, run it waitress, keep running that tab, tequila for err-body and damn the consequences.
Then they swipe your card and BANG go the January groceries, BANG goes any chance you have of surviving your upcoming leave, and BANG goes your iPhone on the verandah floor cos you’ve had too much to drink and now you’re fucking sloppy and careless and the screen cracks and will cost $150 to replace.
And weddings. What’s with December and weddings? Cos whether you have nice spiffy suits that are less than a month old, you still have to go get a brand new, expensive ensemble, because it’s someone’s goddamn wedding. I did.
So now I have a $350 suit I didn’t need; how am I gonna pay for it?
Slowly. Very slowly.