To answer all your questions …

Chillis - eloquentSorry I’ve been outta touch for the last few days – trying to get life and my work all sorted out in a new town is kinda hard when it’s 35 degrees every fecking day. But I’ll do my best to address the burning questions I’ve been getting from both friends and haters alike.

– I’m working. I’m not on holiday, I’m not “eating my money” and there’s no new chick in Victoria Falls. I’m here on a contract, and when it’s done (or I’m finished) I’ll be back in Harare. Believe that.

– Yes, I do feel like a right royal knob. I suppose deep down I knew they had the team to go all the way, but I kinda hoped they’d crash and burn as usual. So I’m rooting for England, and if the Kudus win I’ll feel a real numptie. A broke one too.

– None, ek se. Not even a single hot one, local or foreign. Okay, I did see a couple of hotties in Wild Thing last Saturday, and the chick at reception is looking better by the day (well, late night). Otherwise, this town is as dry as a nun’s … well, it’s dry*.

– Castle, Lion and Pilsener. Cans of Zambezi and Castle are also there. You can buy smokes at Ilala, but for 1,5m. Otherwise everyone else seems to be out of stock.

– And yes, idiot, of course it’s hot.

There we go. I’m fighting with having to do some real work for a change, and getting people to do anything here seems doubly difficult. (aside: lookie, I said doubly). Otherwise life is good, swimming pools are awesome and casinos are hellish pits of doom.

* If this offends you, you’re in the wrong place.

5 Replies to “To answer all your questions …”

  1. The whole putting the ladies to one side will be good for you. See, already, you are feeling calm and collected. Will put things into perspective.

    Did that sound extremely lame from your end? ‘coz it did from mine.

  2. I laughed reading the papers the other day and they were talking of ‘blistering heat’ with temps hovering around 29 degrees. This summer we had 3 consecutive weeks of 39 and on a few days 40, the highest recorded almost 41. How then would one describe those temps other than infernal?

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